Easily annoyed

freckles23 · Oct 9, 2016

Thanks all for the wonderful replies. Glad to see things from a different perspective and other peoples opinions. I really never thought id be in this situation as a nurse even though I did CNA for 4 years but its a different kind of busy. Im not frantic about everything at work but I do have alot of spurts to myself where im just like ***. But maybe its the facility I work at too. Our nurse manager sucks, she is never present and always on vacation and does not attend to the floors needs and that is probably why nurses of 10+ years on that unit finally had enough and are leaving. I really just want to get my BSN with them, pay my time and then gtfo of this place.

FurBabyMom, MSN, RN · Oct 9, 2016

I think it's awesome that you have recognized that maybe you do need to change something! :) As others have pointed out, many people do not recognize this, which can be annoying.

I think others have made great suggestions of looking at your personal time, hobbies, exercise, getting enough sleep. I think the suggestion to see a counselor is a great idea.

The other thing I think applies here, and you learn it as time goes on as a nurse is perspective. It takes at least a year to be truly comfortable in most roles as a nurse, and getting past there generally helps some of the contributing anxiety/feelings of chaos. Things that stressed me out as a freshly off orientation nurse don't bother me now that I have been doing this for four years. You get to a point where you know it could be worse, and know that nobody was hurt or nothing you could have prevented happened. You become okay with that.

For me, I will likely always have days where it seems like nothing goes right. The pyxis is out of the meds I need, the instruments that are special needs aren't available, implants are hard to locate (or not in the building...that's always super fun), the sky is not blue, whatever could happen to make my job hard does. Or things that pharmacy has to release to our staff take forever to be sent up from central pharmacy... But it's not worth making the day worse by giving in to adding to the not so fun-ness. You learn to roll with it, make it work, make everything that needs to happen happen, and move on. I don't hate my job. I highly dislike some of the things that happen, but I like what I do, I have really awesome coworkers (almost all of my coworkers are amazing).

DeeAngel · Oct 9, 2016

Is it possible to get a new job at a place that staffs better, that staffing level is unsustainable.

AutumnApple · Oct 9, 2016

So I need to vent and would love advice. I have been an RN for a year and a half at a hospital and I come to notice I am a very easily annoyed person and basically can come across as a Bi***. I usually apologize to my coworkers afterwards like later on in the night when things calm down. My floor is very overwhelming and we can get a max of 9 patients (usually two admissions equaling 9). That is very overwhelming in itself and it seems my hospital that no one does the job they are supposed to do. The nurses always have to call pharmacy for missing meds, call dietary for trays, set up for admissions or give water/food when the aides dont do their job correctly and calling lab to see if they drew certain blood work. It seems that nursing must be on top of everyone at the facility to make sure things get done for the patients. Most of the time I will do things myself because asking someone else takes too much time and I can complete the task myself and get it done quicker. There is no wonder why I become ****** because when everyone half asses their job, it falls back on others and it so happends to be the nurses. I see all the senior nurses very calm and collected for the most part under stressful situatiobs and for me, I always feel like I am rushing around trying to get the next thing done and I get pissed and annoyed easily. My patient even told me last night, "slow down, take your time." And I couldnt because he was my admission right when i got on shift and I needed to do my initial rounds and give pain meds before I could attend to him and the aide was on break so this guy was waiting in the hallway for an hour. So I ended up freaking out because there was no one to help. Ugh im just so frustrated with the place I am at now and I dont know if its just the facility I work for or if this is everywhere.
Any tips how I can remain cool, calm and collected and not get so snippy at people? I get along with my coworkers well but if im annoyed I start complaining about everything and I hate the person I become. I know I am only one person so I can only do so much at once but I feel like I get tugged at in every single direction constantly. HELP!!

I feel like I stepped into a "Back to the Future" movie or something. This was soooo me during my first few months. I didn't get, as you call it, "pissy" though. I handled it another way. That's another story.

When your job is affecting you in such a manner as it seem to be affecting you, there are a few golden rules that should be implemented immediately. Some people have problems following these rules, but trust me, in the end, they end up doing it and all the excuses are forgotten.

1. Don't do too much overtime. There is a difference between being a team member and coming in that "once in a while" because you are needed and.....being chained to the job.

Facilities will always accept your help and, if they think they can, will bully you into offering it when you don't wish to. Be in control of yourself off the clock so you can be in control of yourself on the clock.

A good basic policy is never to do OT two weeks in a row, regardless of what the emergency is that prompted them to call you on your day off.

2. Be careful of putting too much emphasis on your job performance and thinking THIS ALONE defines me as a person. If you are working in a facility that just doesn't have their stuff together, and you mix that with you expecting your job performance to lift up your self worth..............volatile mix.

Yes. We as nurses sometimes have to lower our standards. We dream of ideal patient care and being a hero to all our patients but, if the structure you are in doesn't support that, you're never gonna have it. And we blame ourselves. It's as if we're trying to run a beauty salon in a building set up for doing oil changes, and we wonder why it doesn't go off well.

Some facilities push staffing and everything else to the limit so that it takes a mini-daily-miracle just to keep them safe.

It sounds like your facility is one such place. Don't internalize their shortcomings and blame yourself.

3. Practice balance. If your facility is a hot mess and unwilling to improve, don't waste your time posturing along with them pretending it's otherwise. Avoid committees and any added responsibilities at all costs unless you see a benefit to it for yourself.

I used to be a preceptor, and it gave me a sense of purpose. So I didn't mind that. On the other hand, going to committee meetings where the administration was only interested in finding out if you had a good "cost cutting" idea or not stopped interesting me. So I quit going.

Make sure you have SOME THING in your personal life that you take pride in. A hobby, spending time with family........whatever. Again, you can't put all your self worth in your job performance.

Balance.

Self preservation is a personal responsibility. They won't do it for us.

Many learn balance the hard way, as I did. It is, unfortunately, something we either learn, or life teaches it to us on it's terms.

Julius Seizure · Oct 9, 2016

Nine patients! Girl, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to do everything for nine patients and do it all at the right time, in the right way.

It's just not possible. And yes, as the nurse, everybody comes and asks you - why wasn't the PTT done on time? Why wasn't the admission completed within an hour? Why did the patient get his meal tray so late? You are the nurse, but you are not superwoman!

Delegation is hard, but it is extra hard when none of your delegated tasks seem to get done by those other people. Choose your battles - yes, that critical med has to happen. But the colace (or whatever non-critical med)? Call pharmacy once, maybe. If they can't get you colace for 8 hours....let it go!

Yes, the PTT needs to get drawn...so you call lab. But you can't drag them up to your patients room by their ear to make sure they do it on time. So you document your phone call and efforts to get it done, take a deep breath, and let it go. You cannot make everything happen the way that it should, especially not with nine patients. Document, deep breath, and shake off that pressure.

Admissions that do not get done within the hour? Oh well. Document, or email your manager if you wish to explain that it didn't happen and its because of staffing. And then let it go.

If you let all these impossible expectations weigh on you, you will crack! You aren't working in an ICU with two patients where you can obsess over all the details and do everything yourself. Prioritize. Do what you can, but don't let it kill you. Nursing is hard work, physically and mentally. Protect yourself.

Self preservation is a personal responsibility. They won't do it for us.

And maybe look for another job.

BTW, this is a big reason why I do ICU - with two patients, I can obsess all I want

allnurses Guide · Oct 9, 2016

Thanks all for the wonderful replies. Glad to see things from a different perspective and other peoples opinions. I really never thought id be in this situation as a nurse even though I did CNA for 4 years but its a different kind of busy. Im not frantic about everything at work but I do have alot of spurts to myself where im just like ***. But maybe its the facility I work at too. Our nurse manager sucks, she is never present and always on vacation and does not attend to the floors needs and that is probably why nurses of 10+ years on that unit finally had enough and are leaving. I really just want to get my BSN with them, pay my time and then gtfo of this place.

You seem to be missing the point the other responders are making. You stated that you are an easily annoyed person and recognized it as a problem. This problem will follow you throughout your life and professional career unless you take measures to correct it. There will always be people who don't do their jobs or Piss you off. There will almost always be unplanned events at work, home and play that can throw a monkey wrench in your day.

It is a spiritual axiom that no one can upset you if you refuse to be upset! When life throws you lemons make lemonade! You have been given some good suggestions about developing better more adaptive coping skills. I would run with that.

Hppy

NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Oct 9, 2016

My PRN job is a free-for-all at the beginning of the shift. What I've started doing is touching on the most important basics of the initial assessment (heart/lung sounds, pulses, ambulatory and orientation status) at my first encounter. Admissions to the floor are stable (supposedly...there are exceptions) and once they arrive, they can wait because they have just left a team of nurses and doctors behind in the ER. Once I get them settled into the room and do my basic initials on them as well, I get back to my usual routine....which goes a little something like this: "Hello, my name is ----- and I'm your nurse for tonight. I'm going to do a quick assessment on you, obtain a list of your needs and concerns, and bring what answers and items I can back with me when I begin the routine med pass. You are my first of 6 patients to assess. Is there anything that you need that cannot wait until I return? I have to allow an equal amount of time for each of you and that keeps the cosmic order aligned". We have to interject humor into what we do no matter how we feel. It breaks the ice and actually works most of the time. :yes:

When I return with routine meds, I finish up my assessment as far as checking the strengths of extremities and whatever else is specific to the patient, as well as giving them the answers (or an answer) and the items that were requested. The main thing is to begin your shift by determining what can and cannot wait, touch on everyone's concerns, explain in a humorous but serious manner that you are sorting out things out so the bulk of the shift will be smooth sailing for them. People tend to be more receptive when they think all of your hassles are for them and them alone. Unfortunately, that's the selfish world we live in today...self-gain.

Sometimes, I even start talking to them as the door is flying open with me entering the room to let them know "I'm going to do this right here real quick-like so that I can go drop something off next door. That way, I can return here and spend a more time talking to you about what's going on with you. Is that ok? In the meantime, do this for me." (It's usually a question I'll have them to be thinking about until I return [because you know I am so interested and really want to know more about how it affects them physically]; and you adjust your language based on the education level of the patient). Sadly, you have to learn to manipulate them before they start manipulating you. :up:

abbnurse · Oct 10, 2016

In addition to good self care, reading Leadership and Self Deception a few times 180'd my tolerance for anything thrown at me.

I hadn't heard of this book, but after a little research, I (literally) just ordered it from Amazon. It sounds great. Thanks for the suggestion! :up: