Drowning her baby in wine


As an RN, its not hard for me to give patients (complete strangers) information or advice on sensitive subjects. However, today I am having the hardest time figuring out how to knock some much needed sense into a close friend's head! I need some advice and encouragement STAT!!

This friend is 4 mos pregnant and she is literally drowning her baby in wine. I met up with her and another girlfriend last weekend at a restaurant. The two of them had been hanging out all day before I met them at the restaurant. Long-story-short....the other girlfriend informed me the next day that "Preggo" had downed a whole bottle of wine (and then some) earlier in the day. And this seems to be happening on a regular occasion, according to the other friend.:no:

I want to shove pictures of babies and children born with FASD in her face and yell, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN??!!". But I'm asking for your suggestions and advice before I do that :) Any stories, links to great resources, etc. are very much welcomed as well.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

4 Articles; 20,908 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma. Has 43 years experience.

If she was my friend... I would be honest with her. I would also tell her that I cannot sit by and watch her abuse her baby. She either stops drinking or I would end the friendship....after I also told her husband/SO the harm that is being done. She clearly has a drinking problem. But I am known to be blunt.

CDC - FASD, Facts about FASDs - NCBDDD

Fetal alcohol syndrome Symptoms - Diseases and Conditions - Mayo Clinic


1,334 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

Does your friend even acknowledge that alcohol can harm the baby? Does she smoke too?

madwife2002, BSN, RN

74 Articles; 4,777 Posts

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN. Has 26 years experience.

Is she happy that she is pregnant or is it a problem for her

morte, LPN, LVN

7,015 Posts


Is she happy that she is pregnant or is it a problem for her

BeachsideRN, ASN

1,722 Posts

Specializes in NICU, Trauma, Oncology. Has 9 years experience.

Sounds like she might need to see a therapist to work through whatever it is that she us struggling with. It's hard for me to believe that people in thus day and age don't know the huge risk of alcohol consumption during pregnancy. I mean, sure maybe women in Europe drink throughout their pregnancies but they aren't consuming bottles per day.


54 Posts

All good posts. Thanks for the responses. I guess I shouldn't have used the word "close friend"! She is more of an acquaintance now than anything I guess. So I'm not too worried about keeping or ending the friendship. The worst part is...her husband somewhat allows this to go on. OK, who am I kidding...they have major issues (both of them). Y'all made a great point, I do not believe she is actually wanting this pregnancy. She IS abusing her baby ALREADY for god's sake! Ok, I'm just going to be honest, tell her I can't stand by and watch her destroy the baby's life and hers, and give her the straight facts on the potential harm. I'm at the point where I'm thinking: Who cares if I sound like a *****! Someone needs to give her unborn child a voice!

Thanks for the responses and links guys!

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

4 Articles; 20,908 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma. Has 43 years experience.

Well that is even easier. I would tell her straight out. "You are not going to like this but I feel as a nurse it is my responsibility to let you know you are abusing your child" be prepared for hostility and have materials to give her for detox.

Depending on your state you can file a child abuse report on an unborn child as a mandated reporter.

State with laws that pertain to unborn children http://www.guttmacher.org/tables/gr030603t.html

What Rights Do Unborn Children Have? - ABC News


164 Posts

Most states accept CPS reports on this. They can make a house call or alert the OB and hospital she plans to deliver at

morte, LPN, LVN

7,015 Posts

why not just give her the address of the nearest abortion provider? and no, I am not being facetious, nor unkind. I truly believe she doesn't want the child, and it would be a kindness.


14,633 Posts

Here's a thought -- you could mind your own business.


56 Posts

Specializes in PICU, CTICU. Has 8 years experience.

Like Esme posted, if you are in one of the states that requires you as a mandatory reporter to report the abuse of an unborn child then you can't very well mind your own business. Personally I would educate her about the harm she is doing.