Yesterday, I was in the break room with coverage of the hurricane clean-up on when a colleague of mine came in and began to discuss it. She proceeds to talk primarily about how Harry Connick Jr looked so good without his shirt on and that he could, "rescue her ANYTIME." She went on and on about it to me.
Now, if the tables had been turned and I had been commenting like she did about a female, that would be sexual harassment. This is by far not the first time this has happened. When I worked in the ER, women would go on about the firefighters and what they wanted to do to them (in graphic detail).
Has anyone else noticed this, or do I just have bad luck with coworkers?
This doesn't offend me (except that I think it's highly unprofessional for grown people - men or women - to act like this...) but I think that their should be a standard. I would never act like that, but if I did, it'd be sexual harassment and I'd be disciplined/sued.
You are entitled to your opinion! Certain people will continue to perpetuate an environment thats is more difficult to work in that it needs to be, by being overly uptight and nitpicking every interaction between male and female co-works as something more then what they are.
This is why a double standard will contiue in the work place. I am sure that in your 20yrs of service at some point you have said something that could be taken out of context. Hopefully and thankfully for you the person it was directed at was "blazie" and took it with a grain of salt instead of getting all upset like some other people might get! Just a thought!
If a co-worker directs an unwanted sexual comment at me then it is not "nitpicking" for me to have a problem with it. That kind of a comment is not necessary in the workplace, especially if I am respectful enough not to make those comments at or around other people. Yes, I have said things in the past which could be taken out of context and that is one of the reasons I try to keep my workplace interactions as professional as possible. One thing 20 years of working has taught me is that when working with people who have different backgrounds and values it is best to regulate my behavior so that I am not stepping on any toes. If I want to let my hair down, I can do that when I'm not at work.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
You are entitled to your opinion! Certain people will continue to perpetuate an environment thats is more difficult to work in that it needs to be, by being overly uptight and nitpicking every interaction between male and female co-works as something more then what they are.
This is why a double standard will contiue in the work place. I am sure that in your 20yrs of service at some point you have said something that could be taken out of context. Hopefully and thankfully for you the person it was directed at was "blazie" and took it with a grain of salt instead of getting all upset like some other people might get! Just a thought!
I generally fall into the "less uptight" category because I know the difference between innocent banter and real cases of stalking and/or sexual harrassment. But, I think what you described as innocent fun around your co-workers butt was inappropriate because 1) in front of a doctor and a patient 2) referred to a body part associated with sexuality 3) you goosed your co-worker (actual contact) If you were out having drinks, at a party or something like that, no prob!! If the radio was in the chest pocket of her scrubs, would she have said, "Ha, you just wanted to touch my t*t :rotfl:" Then, you copped a feel, and said, "I would have done this if I wanted to touch your t*t!!"
Point being, I've learned from sorry experience that people will laugh in front of you, then go home and compose an indignant blow-by-blow account of the antics to the CEO of the hospital. Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's better to stay on the safest side of the blurry line between flirtatious humor and dour, soulless drone.
do me and my guy friends laugh at how attractive some women are???? yes we do. Personally I'm married and try not to look at other people for their looks, and at the very least I won't comment on someones looks of course NEVER while at work whether they look like a supermodel or are the most unattractive person you have ever seen, that is not what I am at work for. I have a marriage, I'm there to help folks and earn a living doing something I can feel good about and utilize my education in the human body.
will I be judgmental if some women comment on how attractive someone is to their particular preference? NEVER, chances are I will laugh about it and appreciate their honest.
I am an LVN I worked with a director of Home Health for several years. She would make comments to the male staff Like "Is their tallywacker the same as there shoe size these guy were between 6'0 and 6'4( I'm 6'0 235) shoe size 12-14 or she would ask them "How they like to get it" Mind you if she heard any other employee say anything about how sexy Denzel or Ricky Martin or Beounce or Fergi was she would call you in her office and say you were being inappropiate.
So it can be a double standard in my view. People did not report her because they feared for their jobs.
A year or so ago, I was called into the manager's office and asked if I had observed a female technician, who was just out of high school, making inappropriate sexual remarks to some of the men in the department. I replied truthfully that I hadn't, and was told that more than one man had reported that she had done this. The men we usually worked with were single guys in their 20s, and she might have reacted differently to them than to middle-aged married men, which most of the guys we work with are - or older. I do not know exactly what she said or did.
In addition to being so young, she was also home-schooled until her senior year and her father is a registered sex offender; I don't know what he did but he does not live with her and her mom even though they are still married, so she might not have known appropriate boundaries.
I never heard any more about this, and she still works there and is actually a very good employee.
Although I am NOT a Nurse (but a Nursing & Allied Health Librarian) I could see how it might make some males uncomfortable. As a husband and father (three daughters and two stepdaughters) I have been around breastfeeding females for several years so it is not a big deal. That having been said, if it were to happen in our library, I would be inclined to get one of the female librarians to speak with the individual....just my $.02 worth.
I can also understand the 'stiffy' part. While my stepdaughter's breastfeeding might not bother me, the sight of my wife's naked breast would cause a 'rise in the Levis'...sorry ladies but that does have an effect on some men, myself included...just so you know!
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
WSteven1 said:
Although I am NOT a Nurse (but a Nursing & Allied Health Librarian) I could see how it might make some males uncomfortable. As a husband and father (three daughters and two stepdaughters) I have been around breastfeeding females for several years so it is not a big deal. That having been said, if it were to happen in our library, I would be inclined to get one of the female librarians to speak with the individual....just my $.02 worth.
Why? I'm not sure how your stepdaughters breastfeed (meaning how much skin they show, basically), but most of us who have breastfed our children put a blanket over the shoulder, and you would need to be really looking to be aware of it at all. I have never seen a woman make a big fuss and display in a public place about nursing her baby.
WSteven1 said:
I can also understand the 'stiffy' part. While my stepdaughter's breastfeeding might not bother me, the sight of my wife's naked breast would cause a 'rise in the Levis'...sorry ladies but that does have an effect on some men, myself included...just so you know!
This is because most normal adults can perceive a body part as sexual in one context, and that same body part no more sexual than an arm or leg in another context. This applies to men and women. Sometimes it's hard for the significant other of a healthcare worker to understand this. Every so often we get a post here from someone who's s/o adamantly rejects their decision to become a nurse because they fear that the prospective nurse will "be looking at guy's d---ks all day" or a man might do a procedure or treatment on a female patient.
Believe me, WSteven, we women know boobs in a certain context have that effect on men, and it's especially heartening to see that your wife is still the one that provokes that particular "response". The young man who posted about "popping a stiffy" and running out of the room because co-workers are nursing their babies in a break room, in my view is just immature and inexperienced. Very, very rarely does a male nurse view females through a sexual prism, and if they do, they creep everybody out and they will not last long in nursing.
Again we have to be careful about the parameters and boiundaries in which sexual harrassessment is faceted. What about female nurses who work in the ER or Correctional institutions where they may deal with the drunken male or the incarcarated male, who in the process of receiving care are more likely to be young males who are full of testosterone and bravado? I would like to know how the issue of sexual harrassessment is dealt with in non-traditional nursing settings.
cop2bnurse41
46 Posts
You are entitled to your opinion! Certain people will continue to perpetuate an environment thats is more difficult to work in that it needs to be, by being overly uptight and nitpicking every interaction between male and female co-works as something more then what they are.
This is why a double standard will contiue in the work place. I am sure that in your 20yrs of service at some point you have said something that could be taken out of context. Hopefully and thankfully for you the person it was directed at was "blazie" and took it with a grain of salt instead of getting all upset like some other people might get! Just a thought!