I recently finished an Accelerated BSN nursing degree. I did well. However throughout school, especially at the start of every new semester, i had these intense desires to drop out. It was interesting to learn the material, but i just wasn't that into it and the atmosphere & reality of nursing produced a lot of anxiety for me. Nevertheless it was just a year so i stuck it out.
Now I'm done. I even have a job I'm supposed to start in a couple months. But I really, really don't want to. I'm not excited at all, even the pay (which seems to get everyone else all riled up) is hardly consoling for when i think about the day to day reality of my life to come. I tried being numb to this fact and just sticking it out but my body's rebelling and I'm not sleeping, i'm waking up with nightmares and have rather textbook panic-attack-ish experiences.
Every time I look back on school I wish I had just done it and dropped out. I have another bachelors degree and I could get a job doing something else and be fine. When I consider allowing myself this possibility it feels like a giant weight of dread lifts off my shoulders.
I am also worried because I accepted a position. I don't want to let people down. But I also really don't want them to invest the time & money and train me for a couple months & have me let them down then.
Honestly I know all the benefits of this field, i know the variety of jobs out there too but could it be that it's just not for someone? At what point to you accept that fact & is that a selfish thing to do? So many people work at jobs they don't love and I have respect for that too...just don't know if I can do it the way they do.
I would appreciate any advice or personal stories. Has anyone ever known of anyone who got a nursing degree & didn't use it to be a nurse... or tried for a short time and then stopped?
To OP, I can not answer your questions for you but I can relate my own experience with you in hopes of helping make your decision slightly easier. I have been an LPN for over 16 years. Like you, there were many times during nursing school when I was getting ready to start a new clinical rotation that I just became paralyzed with fear and wanted to drop out. This happened over and over again yet I convinced myself that I just needed to "power through". I was more afraid of letting down my family, who were counting on me to finish school and get a good job, than I was of continuing and being unhappy. I knew that I wasn't enjoying the actual hands on aspect of nursing but I did enjoy the classroom portion. I made it through by telling myself that it would be different once I was working, that I would like the work when I was more experienced and sure of myself. Well, in my over 16 years as a nurse, I have had countless jobs, never completely satisfied or happy in any of them. I kept pushing on because I kept reading on here that there were so many different areas of nursing that I would find the right one for me. I also didn't want to waste all the hard work I put into my education or again, to let my family down. I am currently back in school to advance my education. Initially, I was in an ADN program with thoughts that I would finally be happy as an RN instead of an LPN. About 2 months ago, I finally had an epiphany. My unhappiness was caused by the fact that nursing was not what I wanted to do. I finally realized that all my reasons for staying in nursing centered around what I felt others wanted and expected of me, not at all what I wanted. I was living a lie, trying to fit into a mold that wasn't right for me and no amount of squeezing was going to make it fit. I sat down and thought about what I really wanted and knew that I wanted to leave nursing. I have always been interested in law and once dreamt of going back to school to be a paralegal. Once I talked to my husband and realized he was happy with what ever made me happy, I went to my school and changed my major from nursing to paralegal studies. I am now in the program and am so excited about the idea of entering this new phase of life! I have researched the field and talked to people in it and feel that it is a perfect match for my personality. I look forward to each new quarter of classes and most especially of getting a job as a paralegal after school. I spent way too many years unhappy, trying to be something that I didn't want to be, dreading each day of work. If I had paid attention all those years ago to what my subconscious was telling me, I could have spared myself a lot of emotional and physical distress. Like I said I don't know what is right for you, but I say listen to your gut, if it is telling you this is wrong, then it may just be. Good luck in whatever you decide!
Life is too short to dread what you do. If you are filled with dread at just the thought of a job, the job itself will only add to your stress, especially the first year. You will have to want to be there in order to be good at what you do. Sounds like your heart has already checked out of the equation.
My advice is to turn down the nursing job, go back to whatever you were doing, and revisit the issue in 6 or 9 months. Maybe by that time you'll remember why you were drawn to nursing in the first place, and decide to make a go of it. Maybe not. No shame either way, it's YOUR life!
Best of luck in all you do..... nursing or not. :)
What was your first degree in? Is there any way to mesh the two into a career that would work for you? I know you said you know about all the options nurses have, but you could have a desk job, hospital job, clinic job, on the phone job, computer job, and still be "nursing" just not what most people think of at first. Don't give up yet!
i dont agree with sticking it out. your intuition is telling you not to push forward and i would listen to that. i too want to exit nursing but ia m stuck at the moment and hope to get unstuck with in hte next few years if God lets mel ive that long. the lifestyle of bedside nursing sucks plain and simple. and it sucks worse if you are only luke warm or worse yet ice cold in your interest/want to pursue it.
bedside nursing and the realities of the schedules the demands the personality types i work with all contrived against me and acutally changed how i relate to people and not in a good way.
i say listen to that voice and pursue a different path.
Find something that'll make you happy. Nursing can be a ****** and thankless job. I wish I hadn't chosen it. If the money wasn't good I'd leave. I hate dreading going to work each morning, dealing with charge nurses who don't care to help new nurses and CNAs who have no respect.
Yeah, find something that'll make you happy. I'm stuck until my 27K of student loan debt is paid.
Specializes in ICU,ED, Corrections, dodging med-surg.
I'm wondering if the panic and anxiety caused by the thought of nursing in the real world has already caused you to hate it. Maybe the typical thoughts of I won't be able to handle this, before ever tried, are completely turning you off to nursing. My advice would be to go for it while you have the opportunity, and grow from it, whether it works out or not. Don't give up before you start. Give it your all, and you never know, it may very well be your calling as you step into the waters..
Be honest with yourself and think long and hard about this. I'm at the end of nursing school and while going out into the real world of nursing scares the bejeezus out of me, it excites the heck out of me too. My personal opinion is that one should enter the field with interest, otherwise there are many other new grads who are hungry for that job. You may end up liking it though. Think hard!
Well at least try it out, you never know you might actually be good at it, I know nursing school was uneasy, but that doesn't mean the actual job will be also.
So yes take the job, don't do it for anyone else but yourself, even if you fail, then at least you knew you tried and you never know you might even still like it after failing, fueling you to even try again.
Well at least try it out, you never know you might actually be good at it, I know nursing school was uneasy, but that doesn't mean the actual job will be also.
So yes take the job, don't do it for anyone else but yourself, even if you fail, then at least you knew you tried and you never know you might even still like it after failing, fueling you to even try again.
Best of luck :)
Being good at it is not the same as enjoying what you do for a living. I am exceptional at my job, yet I don't like to go to work for myriad reasons.
After 2 failed career attempts, this is the time for you to take some time for yourself; to THINK about what YOU want, not about money or societal expectations, or what you are EXPECTED to do.
Your work life will span 50+ years, make a decision that will bring you fufillment as best you can.
I am looking back over many, many years of nursing. What you hate about it now you will probably hate about it 50 years from now. Nursing really just has to change; it is a killer for many people. Granted, there are good jobs but especially now you have to have those few years of bedside nursing to qualify for them. Life is short; it has been for me. Take a career aptitude test. Most colleges can give them. I took one over the Internet just out of curiosity several years ago and found out what I probably would have liked most was...architecture! Which I've always been fascinated by. I had my son take this test in college (after his first four years of changing majors) and he found out he was most suited to business administration. He now owns his own successful business. Don't waste your time doing something that fills you with dread. Like the song says, "The years go by as quickly as a wink."
Well I havent passed my boards yet, and Id give anything to be able to work as a nurse, that has been my life goal forever...But trust me, since I havent passed..ive been saying things like did this happpend for a reason, is it because im really not suppose to be a nurse?
Someone I went to high school with went to RN school and then married before going off to be a missionary. I doubt that anyone criticized her for taking a spot in nursing school when she really wanted to go into the religious life. Your life is your own to live as you wish. Maybe you should try nursing for a year or so, before you give up on it. Then again, maybe you can make the decision to do something else now. Just do what makes you comfortable. Good luck with your decision.
Limik
180 Posts
To OP, I can not answer your questions for you but I can relate my own experience with you in hopes of helping make your decision slightly easier. I have been an LPN for over 16 years. Like you, there were many times during nursing school when I was getting ready to start a new clinical rotation that I just became paralyzed with fear and wanted to drop out. This happened over and over again yet I convinced myself that I just needed to "power through". I was more afraid of letting down my family, who were counting on me to finish school and get a good job, than I was of continuing and being unhappy. I knew that I wasn't enjoying the actual hands on aspect of nursing but I did enjoy the classroom portion. I made it through by telling myself that it would be different once I was working, that I would like the work when I was more experienced and sure of myself. Well, in my over 16 years as a nurse, I have had countless jobs, never completely satisfied or happy in any of them. I kept pushing on because I kept reading on here that there were so many different areas of nursing that I would find the right one for me. I also didn't want to waste all the hard work I put into my education or again, to let my family down. I am currently back in school to advance my education. Initially, I was in an ADN program with thoughts that I would finally be happy as an RN instead of an LPN. About 2 months ago, I finally had an epiphany. My unhappiness was caused by the fact that nursing was not what I wanted to do. I finally realized that all my reasons for staying in nursing centered around what I felt others wanted and expected of me, not at all what I wanted. I was living a lie, trying to fit into a mold that wasn't right for me and no amount of squeezing was going to make it fit. I sat down and thought about what I really wanted and knew that I wanted to leave nursing. I have always been interested in law and once dreamt of going back to school to be a paralegal. Once I talked to my husband and realized he was happy with what ever made me happy, I went to my school and changed my major from nursing to paralegal studies. I am now in the program and am so excited about the idea of entering this new phase of life! I have researched the field and talked to people in it and feel that it is a perfect match for my personality. I look forward to each new quarter of classes and most especially of getting a job as a paralegal after school. I spent way too many years unhappy, trying to be something that I didn't want to be, dreading each day of work. If I had paid attention all those years ago to what my subconscious was telling me, I could have spared myself a lot of emotional and physical distress. Like I said I don't know what is right for you, but I say listen to your gut, if it is telling you this is wrong, then it may just be. Good luck in whatever you decide!