Jeez, can't a girl get a break? I am so tired of being bullied by nurses who have been on the unit longer than I have! Some who have only been there a few MONTHS longer.
What's the deal? I'm a professional, too! We do NOT have charge nurses on our unit---it is strictly Team Nursing. Yet the other night, another RN said to me, 'when you work for me, I want you to blah blah blah"...An LPN totally went over my decision on allowing visitors for a patient (the patient was sedated because of extremely violent behavior...3 haldols, 2 ativans and some benadryl--he JUST attacked the guards--I figured it was better to let him sleep than to rouse him) and the LPN sent the visitors up anyhow!
This is ridiculous. I know I am not the only person whose toes have been stepped on. Our supervisor has had meetings with us regarding this problem. Yet it persists!
So...I want to keep the peace, but I think I really need to get a spine, too. HOW???
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
No it's not too late. As a matter of fact, sometimes having had a chance to "sleep on it" helps you to have a clear head when you DO discuss this individual's treatment of you the prior day. You are MUCH more effective when you are not all emotional, yelling or crying, anyhow.
And, you know, it's ok---most of us are not born assertive and able to take on these types with effectiveness. It takes practice and education. You can do it! Just make it clear you are not anyone's doormat.
And, you know, it's ok---most of us are not born assertive and able to take on these types with effectiveness. It takes practice and education. You can do it! Just make it clear you are not anyone's doormat.
i thank the sweet Lord that i was born with backbone. ever hear, no one can take advantage of you without your permission? and it's difficult trying to teach someone how to be assertive if their personality consists of being meek and demure.
my 'assertiveness' has literally shaken the socks off of some colleagues; i had gone a step too far. my temper reacted to anyone trying to patronize me. so it's not good either, going to the other end of the spectrum. i've had to learn to control my temper.
but meerkat, hopefully one day you will become ENRAGED and think, 'how DARE she/they/ treat me like such vermon'. and hopefully you will swear to yourself that you will never take that b.s. ever, ever again; because you are worth so much more.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I think my childhood and how I was raised has a lot do w/my natural IN-ablity to assert myself in certain situations. However, I am learning more and more how to do this and be effective. Some people go to the "other extreme" and become aggressive. Assertion is usually something learned, not inborn. And it's definately effective in most cases.
I have some good books to read if the OP is interested.
I need assertiveness training big time but I'm always scared if I buy on book on said subject, try the suggestions out, everyone will say, "Man what pr**k that guy is!" and hate me LOL.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
No one accuses people who are truly ASSERTIVE of being a jerk. That is the beauty of it. If they are they are either jealous or you may have crossed the line to AGGRESSION, from assertion. Quite different things!
Our practice is to tape up baggies on the station door for pts on whom we still need specimens. We stick the requisition in the baggie so we have it ready when the pt pees. I had a whirlwind of a night and in my hurry, put the requisition with the pt's name facing inward, so you couldn't immediately see the name (although I did happen to have penciled her name on the outside). (Mind you, no samples were in the baggies yet). Here's how the convo went:
Oncoming nurse: (angry, aggressive voice) Who did this? How am I supposed to know whose this is?!
(Throws baggie at me)
Me: There's no need to be angry--(cut off by Oncoming nurse)
ON: (still angry)Well it's FRUSTRATING! And it happens again and again! How am I supposed to know whose this is?!
Me: Well, I have only done it this once, AND all it takes is simply turning the requisition around, which I'm doing right now for you.
ON: (still angry)Well, it's not just YOU! People do it, it happens CONSTANTLY and I'm TIRED of it!
Me: Well you do not have to take it out on ME.
ON: I said it's not just you!
Me: Well, I'm bearing the brunt of it right now.
ON: Well tonight it is you! Tomorrow it will be someone else!
I know this was not a super great instance of me being assertive, but it's all I could muster. And I WAS SHAKING and so ANGRY (but I never raised my voice). Anyhow, I think I did a little better.
Am I missing something, by the way? What is the big deal with reaching in and unfolding the requisition to see the person's name? You gotta reach in there anyhow to put the specimen in. I didn;t get what the big deal was.
Specializes in telemetry, cardiopulmonary stepdown, LTC. Hospice.
I've been reading this thread with great interest. I am 37 and just going into RN school this fall, but I have seen in other jobs that I have had trouble with being assertive enough. I have ordered several of the books that were mentioned and plan to get better on this score in the coming months. I do NOT want my new career to be upsetting and frustrating because I didn't speak up for myself and let others run me over as I have in the past. I so know how those of you are working on this feel! I have been in the same situations at other jobs where someone talks to me like dirt and I just stand there and take it. NO MORE! I have been through a lot in my life and I may be a newbie nurse and just learning, but that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to respect.
What would make things harder is the feeling that, as a beginning nurse, I really DON'T know what I'm doing, but I will not let those feelings of nervousness and fear allow others to talk to me inappropriately or treat me rudely.
So I'm right there with you, all those who have this problem.
I will not let those feelings of nervousness and fear allow others to talk to me inappropriately or treat me rudely.
Right on! There's no excuse for that at all. Which would have been an appropriate response to Nurse Angrypants there: When you're ready to discuss this in a appropriate tone of voice, we can talk then.
Especially with the throwing stuff. That is way over the line, and an excellent boundary to set. "If you throw something at me, I'll not be having any further discussion with you..."
SmilingBluEyes
20,964 Posts
No it's not too late. As a matter of fact, sometimes having had a chance to "sleep on it" helps you to have a clear head when you DO discuss this individual's treatment of you the prior day. You are MUCH more effective when you are not all emotional, yelling or crying, anyhow.
And, you know, it's ok---most of us are not born assertive and able to take on these types with effectiveness. It takes practice and education. You can do it! Just make it clear you are not anyone's doormat.