Jeez, can't a girl get a break? I am so tired of being bullied by nurses who have been on the unit longer than I have! Some who have only been there a few MONTHS longer.
What's the deal? I'm a professional, too! We do NOT have charge nurses on our unit---it is strictly Team Nursing. Yet the other night, another RN said to me, 'when you work for me, I want you to blah blah blah"...An LPN totally went over my decision on allowing visitors for a patient (the patient was sedated because of extremely violent behavior...3 haldols, 2 ativans and some benadryl--he JUST attacked the guards--I figured it was better to let him sleep than to rouse him) and the LPN sent the visitors up anyhow!
This is ridiculous. I know I am not the only person whose toes have been stepped on. Our supervisor has had meetings with us regarding this problem. Yet it persists!
So...I want to keep the peace, but I think I really need to get a spine, too. HOW???
Hi BLUEEYES, you made my day with your response. Your factual comments laced wt sense of humour is appreciated. At least it moved my mind away from some God know characters who called themselves Nursing SUPERMODELS with rude & intimidating disposition to colleagues. Once again thank u for making my day.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Thank you for your responses, much appreciated.
I'll check out the book links. I "thought" I was being assertive by politely asking them to stop their behavior. What on earth do you do if people just don't stop!
And about discrimination---I'm sure it is an HR nightmare when people go "there" and I'm quite confident that Management WILL talk to us as a group next week and that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated. It's against the hospital's mission statement and all sorts of laws. These people just think it's funny and since I've known most of them for so long, they think it's just another "joke" (like making fun of questions I ask or my nose, or whatever).
I'm not the type to go after people (or the hospital-because it is being addressed)--it's just the way these people act. It's horrible and it needs to stop for the well-being of the unit, the patients and the hospital.
I guess I just fear the fallout, because there will be some. Wow, they may get even MEANER.
Thanks again!
One thing you will learn about self-assertion, body language is at least, if not more important, than the words you use. Please do check out those books----they may make a difference for you.
i,too, have a tendency to let others bully me in the workplace. a few ways to deal with this: take their comments as a joke and say something like,"you think so,huh" and then go do what you should. or, tell someone in upper management what is going on..if they dont help,go higher until someone listens and gets things under control. or, leave....find somewhere to work where the nurses are actually kind and courteous to one another-this is what i had to do eventually and it was well worth the extra miles to drive..good luck to you and pray for better days..
I am wondering how the OP is doing after starting this thread. I'd also like to thank thosewho responded to my posts and to fill them in in on how things worked out. Maybe this will help someone else in the future.
I ended up leaving my ED position today while still on orientation after securing another job at another hospital.
After reporting "bullying" to my manager (with a fellow worker going in with me to back up my story), things just got worse. Yes, he had a talk with all of the new grads but made it VERY obvious who complained (he didn't protect me by saying "staff has noticed...." He pretty much said "one of you.....".
So, of course, the bullies went to the manager to defend themselves and I was called into his office a few days later and asked "what was going on". "You seem preoccupied and quiet and unapproachable". OMG! I told him I was trying to keep a low profile (actually, the bullies weren't talking to me or still making sarcastic comments) which just made me clam up). I suspect from his conversation w/me that the complaints that the bullies had were that they have to "walk on eggshells" or they said I was too sensitive. Of course, now I was the "tattler".
Basically things were tense whenever all of us were together. We would exchange a few words but the atmosphere was stressful.
I managed to do well in the ED performance wise but the stress of this situation made it twice as hard to be successful. I knew I'd be on night shift with these people and the aunt of one of them is the night charge nurse.
So, when I put in my notice (appropriately), I made up a story about the ED just not being for me at this time as a new grad. That may or may not be true but this bullying situation added to an already stressful situation.
The one grad who befriended me called today to say that staff was shocked and disappointed that I left but that the atmosphere among the new grads was much better--much lighter, less tense.
So, the people who were nasty and inappropriate ended up looking good in the end and I ended up looking like the person causing all of the tension. These are people who don't take nurse's other patients if they're "pissed at them" and refuse to make the beds because "the techs will do it". I walked away with at least 5 new friends (established staff) and backed up everyone no matter how I felt about them. It's about the patients, after all. I'm not perfect, but I'm not going to let a personal squabble keep me from taking care of a pt.
I guess it's never really worth going to management no matter how ugly people can be. Any thoughts on that from anyone who has experienced this? I did try to handle these people first by talking to them before "squealing" to management.
Assertiveness Skills for Professionals in Health Care
Wendy D. Leebov
I recently came across an EXCELLENT book on assertiveness for women...it even tells you the exact words to say in specific situations. It's called "Civilized Assertiveness for Women: Communication with Backbone...not Bite " by Judith Selee McClure. Check out the reviews on Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0972966439/ref=sr_11_1/002-3901889-5368057?%5Fencoding=UTF8
I agree with the poster who mentioned all the other books, assertiveness must be LEARNED. I went from complete doormat to being too aggressive but this book is helping me to find that happy medium of assertiveness. I HIGHLY recommend this book, the main reason is because it's for WOMEN, and most of us in nursing are women.
I feel where you are comming from. I have to admit this is something I am scared of happening to me, not for fear of embarrassment but because I have a sharp tongue and may really go off on someone. I hate when people feel they are better than you because of a title or because they were there longer. At the end of the day we are all people and deserve to be treated fairly no matter what. This burns me up and I just pray that if I encounter this god will give me the strength to control myself.
I did it again! Dammit! I just let another nurse be rude to me and I didn't say a darn thing because I felt bad. We were doing the narcotic count and she gave me a number for one of the meds. I didn't hear her because she mumbled and she assumed I was not paying attention and she snapped 'Pay attention! I don't want to be here all night!" ARGH! Why do I always think of comebacks AFTER the fact?!
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Time for assertiveness training/seminars or books. I have a few book suggestions if you are interested. As long as you allow this, they will do it. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt said it so well: "we teach others how to treat us".
Time for assertiveness training/seminars or books. I have a few book suggestions if you are interested. As long as you allow this, they will do it. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt said it so well: "we teach others how to treat us".
Hi Blueyes. Thank you SO MUCH for the response. I have taken your advice and ordered "Assertiveness for healthcare Professionals" from B & N. Hope it helps!
By the way, is it too late to say something to that nurse from last night? I think part of the reason I allow this , as I have been thinking it over, is because when someone says something like that, my brain automatically assumes they are right, I must be too slow, I must be too inexperienced, I must be too incompetant. What an awful way to think! Need to turn it around and have more faith in myself!!
I did it again! Dammit! I just let another nurse be rude to me and I didn't say a darn thing because I felt bad. We were doing the narcotic count and she gave me a number for one of the meds. I didn't hear her because she mumbled and she assumed I was not paying attention and she snapped 'Pay attention! I don't want to be here all night!" ARGH! Why do I always think of comebacks AFTER the fact?!
"Speak up, please, and i wouldn't have to ask for you to repeat youself. Now, how many Percocet?"
AYABA
4 Posts
Hi BLUEEYES, you made my day with your response. Your factual comments laced wt sense of humour is appreciated. At least it moved my mind away from some God know characters who called themselves Nursing SUPERMODELS with rude & intimidating disposition to colleagues. Once again thank u for making my day.
ABI - Lagos Nigeria