Jeez, can't a girl get a break? I am so tired of being bullied by nurses who have been on the unit longer than I have! Some who have only been there a few MONTHS longer.
What's the deal? I'm a professional, too! We do NOT have charge nurses on our unit---it is strictly Team Nursing. Yet the other night, another RN said to me, 'when you work for me, I want you to blah blah blah"...An LPN totally went over my decision on allowing visitors for a patient (the patient was sedated because of extremely violent behavior...3 haldols, 2 ativans and some benadryl--he JUST attacked the guards--I figured it was better to let him sleep than to rouse him) and the LPN sent the visitors up anyhow!
This is ridiculous. I know I am not the only person whose toes have been stepped on. Our supervisor has had meetings with us regarding this problem. Yet it persists!
So...I want to keep the peace, but I think I really need to get a spine, too. HOW???
GOOD JOB, Meerkat! So proud of you!! How did it feel to stand up for yourself?
Well tonight it is you! Tomorrow it will be someone else
I cannot believe the attitude of the ON. Guess I'm naive because I just don't understand how people can treat others this way.
I'm right with you! I think it was her way of saving face without backing down...'well, you are all a problem for me, so one by one you will bear the brunt of my frustratration---tonight was just your turn' ---that;s was how I interpreted it. As for how I felt, I was nervous as heck. When I got home, I was full of 'woulda coulda shoulda' after-thoughts. I should have known something was going to happen...the more experienced nurse with whom I was working said right before shift change 'why don't you make rounds, so I can get the station ready the way Oncoming Nurse likes it'....I don't know how I feel about my reaction. Too little, too much? Hard for me to gauge. THANK YOU SO MUCH everyone...I DO feel better that I made a baby step in this direction! HUGS!!
why should you be different to all us other nurses, we have always been door mats, but remember every one usues one, and you have a lot of users, how would you feel if no one used you
why should you be different to all us other nurses, we have always been door mats, but remember every one usues one, and you have a lot of users, how would you feel if no one used you
why should you be different to all us other nurses, we have always been door mats, but remember every one usues one, and you have a lot of users, how would you feel if no one used you
bye
WTH?
You're only someone's doormat if you permited them to be:uhoh3: .
Usually, I don't notice that kind of behavior at first due to just not thinking that way myself, so it takes a while before it sinks in that someone's pulling something. It doesn't happen often, but when it does (LOL & when I finally notice it), I'm usually flabbergasted which is quickly replaced by losing respect for the other party. It's generally a sign of insecurity in the other party (or parties). Sometimes, they're basically jealous of you. Other times, they mistake your niceness as weakness (even if they're not jealous), so they go for the jugular. Often, with these kind of people, the more you try to accomodate them, the more they mistake it for you being intimidated, so it can escalate. These people are best avoided, but if you can't do that, you have to do something to rectify it (they sure won't initiate that). Basically, keep it professional, brief, and firm without being overbearing, over emotional, or over explanatory. If they still don't shape up, you sometimes have to get a little terse with them. It usually shocks them & they tend to back off. If you can throw a little humor into it (while maintaining an assertiveness about your personality), it often deflects it too. Also, don't get involved in a passive-aggressive tit for tat game with them. That tends to simply escalate it. It can also get to be a vicious cycle since it tends to make the victim even less sure & less assertive which can feed the bullying behaviors. DO frequently remind yourself that you have a lot going for you. If you get caught up in negative thinking to the point where you bash yourself, it'll become a vicious cycle & spiral down. Force your mind out of that mode, even if it's difficult for you. Also, pragmatically, you might try to find some allies at work...people with whom to associate so you're not sitting there as the lone target of these gals. (...and don't use your allies to get back at the others...just rise above it & focus on your allies & job.) It also sounds as though they were being passive-aggressive with you in school. Now they've escalated. Unfortunately, there are people like this out there & we have to deal with them in a way such that it doesn't affect us and our jobs, etc. Also, most bosses have enough on their plates & are concerned with their own careers, so they're generally not too interested in being pulled into these things. They just want things running smoothly so their jobs run more smoothly. You're generally better off handling it yourself if you can. If it gets to the point where you've exhausted all avenues, sometimes you DO have to involve superiors. Never really good for anyone, so go to the boss only as a very last resort. One last thing, try thinking more like a guy. Focus on your job and you'll find if your mind is more focused on the details of your job, it'll be naturally less focused on these types of people, thus have less effect. If you're new & have to ask questions, there are usually a few 'go to' people who are willing to help & to impart their knowledge. Those are the people you want to seek out.
I also have this problem with my CNA. She doesn't respect my authority and brushes it off. I think she mistakes my kindness for weakness. I finally got fed up with it the other night when I asked her to put a pt back in bed who was screaming, and she said no in front of the CNO and supervisor, but who didn't say anything defending me. Being treated like a doormat gets tiring after awhile.
Meerkat
432 Posts
I'm right with you! I think it was her way of saving face without backing down...'well, you are all a problem for me, so one by one you will bear the brunt of my frustratration---tonight was just your turn' ---that;s was how I interpreted it. As for how I felt, I was nervous as heck. When I got home, I was full of 'woulda coulda shoulda' after-thoughts. I should have known something was going to happen...the more experienced nurse with whom I was working said right before shift change 'why don't you make rounds, so I can get the station ready the way Oncoming Nurse likes it'....I don't know how I feel about my reaction. Too little, too much? Hard for me to gauge. THANK YOU SO MUCH everyone...I DO feel better that I made a baby step in this direction! HUGS!!