We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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I was doing rounds with a doctor one day. The patient was in bed with both his artificial legs off. She says, oh good! I can say what ever I want to you, and you can't chase me. Luckily she could not see my jaw drop.
After checking a PT/INR via finger stick, I called MD from patient's home to be informed by an 80 yr old Dr that I had done the INR wrong because she did not like the number I gave her.
She ordered another PT/INR via venipuncture for the next morning. When I received the results I called her office and was told by her that the lab did it wrong. (Labs results and my results were exactly the same numbers)
Huffing she finally gave me Coumadin Orders for my patient still saying that my machine and the labs machines have to be broken.
I work in Labor and Delivery and we were in the middle of a lady partsl delivery when all of a sudden the woman has a bowel movement and it falls right to the floor and the intern doctor said, "well that's a golden nugget!"
Working on a new admit, I was placing a catheter. The pubic hair was a strip of hair dyed bright green. The patient told us it was for St Patricks Day. The doctor stated it reminded him he was to golf, it looked like a putting green. I almost dropped the catheter
"If you are planning on becoming a nurse than you had better to be able to stand the smells of C. diff and Pseudomonas like it was a wonderful smelling cup of coffee waking you up in the morning"- on my first day of Clinicals......
While working overnight and being very tired, an ED physician sang the Oscar Meyer song while performing a pelvic exam! So his famous quote "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner / That is what I truly wish to be / Cause if I were a oscar mayer weiner / Everyone would be in love / Oh everyone would be in love / Everyone would be in love with me†Who just read this and didn't sing it?!
Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
I was a new nurse, just a few months into working in a psychiatric facility. One pt, about 25 yrs old with schizophrenia had multiple medications ordered PRN and routine to help him have less anxiety. If I recall correctly, dosages had been increased recently. The pt wanted more anti anxiety meds.
I called the psychiatrist to ask if he could order something new for the pts anxiety.
MD responded: "How about a horse tranquilizer?"
I was speechless and didn't know how to respond. I was too new to realize this was a joke!!
Now I laugh about that whenever I think about it! (3 years later)
Gotta love mental health!!
Another time, I was working in the acute area with pts on "holds". These pts behaviors tended to be quite erratic. This story is not so much what the MD said, but what he did.
Situation: Pt had assaulted approx 14 of the other pts in the past 24 hrs, as well as had assaulted approx 5 staff members. Pt would voluntarily seclude himself on the patio after each asssault, therefore, no need for IMs/restraints.
MD came in the AM and stayed in the nurses station (behind a locked door) the whole time. Eventually, MD says to me, "I need to see that pt" and basically asked if I could accompany him.
I'm laughing on the inside, thinking, 'I've been passing meds to this pt all night, but you're so scared you need me to be your body guard'.
We venture out of the nurses station side by side, and enter the common area that is adjacent to the patio, where the pt was.
Our team of techs was nearby. 1 tech was on the patio with the pt. As we approached the common area, the pt postured toward us and said something outlandish.
I turned to look at the MD, who had been at my side moments ago....couldn't find him. He was gone!! 😂 So quick!!
I looked for him in the nearby closets and other areas; couldn't find him.
He had made it back to the nurses station so quickly. When I found him, I said, "You must have had an escape plan in mind, you're quick." He smiled and mumbled, "Yes."
I was assisting an ER Physician with a dog bite and the physician was talking about a prescription for antibiotics. The Pt stated he thought a dogs mouth was sterile. The physician stopped working, looked at the patient and said "yes, so is his ass, that's how it got that way."
Saw a doctor I worked with in the grocery store and he said to me ' I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on.' Oh the looks I got from those around me that heard him say that.
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Hugsnotdrugs
2 Posts
I was doing rounds with a doctor one day. The patient was in bed with both his artificial legs off. She says, oh good! I can say what ever I want to you, and you can't chase me. Luckily she could not see my jaw drop.