We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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I was office manager in family practice when I started receiving complaints from female patients. New physician hired wasn't completing routine GYN pap correctly. I assisted the next time he had a patient. Breast exam he barely poked her Breast sitting up. Next was the pap . The physician was going to insert brush with no speculum , I said as I was reaching into warming tray "wouldn't you like to use one of these? He had blank look for a second then said oh yeah I need that. Short time later he was fired by corporate.
Working on a med surg floor, I had to call the doc to report a Pt's decline in condition. I explained to him that I had done everything I could to keep his Pt's B/P up. Doc then said, "And you are calling me why?" I wanted to say, "Seriously? Because you are the one with the magic pen!", but I didn't. I proceeded respectfully and ask for dopamine.
At a nursing home I worked at the dr suggested to one of my 90 year old residents to do kegal exercises to strengthen her pelvic floor from urine urgency, the resident looked at him and said "Are you serious!? I'm 90 yrs old and I had 6 children! Get your head on straight!"
A resident at a teaching hospital in South Carolina said that the patient didn't know what to name their baby. The name the doctor suggested was meconium. The new mother named her brand new baby Meconium!
While working in ER, a young adult male presented to ER after attempting to circumcise himself using scissors. Stated he always wanted to be circumsized, but his parents would never allow him to get it done. While assessing the job he did with the physician, the physician stated to the patient I guess you will never do this again, you got most of the foreskin off.
When i was pregnant and making rounds the doctor said "have you ever watched the movie alien vs predator bc you sound like the predator breathing when you stand behind me."
I received a phone call from the LTC to check on a patient who was in excruciating pain in his genital region. After assessing the patient I phoned the on call physician for recommendations. I studered along telling the physician the patient applied biofreeze to his genitals. His exact words were "He put WHAT on his member?!?!" The physician ended up going to the facility to see for himself.
Pulmonologist made half his rounds then took off down the hall in a hurry. My coworker started running after him yelling " Dr. H don't leave I need to ask you a question!" He goes, "Well you'll have to ask it in the bathroom!"
We have one ortho doc who can be just plain silly sometimes. He was coming at me down the hall grinning ear to ear. He says, "OOOOH somebody's got new shoes! Did you get new socks to go with them?"
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I was office manager in family practice when I started receiving complaints from female patients. New physician hired wasn't completing routine GYN pap correctly. I assisted the next time he had a patient. Breast exam he barely poked her Breast sitting up. Next was the pap . The physician was going to insert brush with no speculum , I said as I was reaching into warming tray "wouldn't you like to use one of these? He had blank look for a second then said oh yeah I need that. Short time later he was fired by corporate.