So I'm a young, single, heterosexual male nurse, and I'm well aware that I'm somewhat of a minority, as most nurses are female, and the ones that aren't, are often gay (yes, I know that is just a silly stereotype, and there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that's beside my point).
Thing is, I'm not even remotely feminine- I have a beard, I listen to heavy metal, I climb mountains, I work out, etcetera. But I get paranoid that most people probably perceive me as a little "girly" or "possibly homosexual", when I talk about being a nurse. I feel especially insecure about my masculinity when I'm walking home wearing my uniform past some heavy set dudes doing roadworks or construction or something "manly". Sometimes, I've even lied about studying nursing at uni- I've sometimes said I'm studying engineering, to seem more masculine.
I'm not ashamed of being a nurse- I'm damn proud! But I feel a little insecure due to the silly non-masculine stereotypes associated with my career choice. I'm also single and looking for a girlfriend, but I sense that women might think I'm gay, or unmanly, due to my profession. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway, my main question is- ladies, do you find male nurses attractive? Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you? Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?
Things are achanging. Ten years ago, I suggested to my son to consider nursing and he said nursing is for gay men. Recently he told me it was OK to be a guy in nursing and a lot of his friends were in nursing school.
Maybe you are moving in a circle that still has old school thinking. Look for friends, neighbors and acquaintances that support your career choice and you would not feel embarrassed. Don't even think of what men working on construction projects will think of you. They are in a different business and just like you don't understand the charm of riding 20 story high girders, they don't understand your thrill in running a code.
Wear your scrubs with pride and ask a nurse out. Give them a break from the security guards. As it is there are so few opportunities of office romance for hetrosexual females nurses.
Everybody just take a deep breath and stop with the animosity. If you don't agree or feel something is inappropriate, take this opportunity to educate the person. When we work together personally or professionally, nurses are unstoppable. It's a shame so many seem to get off on destroying each other as evidenced by this thread...
OK hear I am going to be my very assertive self. To you "Sykadia"...Where on earth did you find that information...It is a false statement to be sure...First off I have worked with 1000s of Nurses in my almost 40 years. That is including all across the country. There are probably with an educated guess and exceptionally small population of gay people in the medical community. I have worked with some men who are "divas" to the traditional. Most of the men who are Nurses are far from gay...That is a concept that is only in your mind. It truly never comes to mine nor anyone I know unless it is obvious. And YES there are people who are very obvious....I even doubt if you past the contract workers walking down the street that it would be the first thing that popped in their head. I know some seriously delicious Men in Nursing......Married of course/GF/etc. You need to change your thinking......I have worked with Gay men(they will tell you)but it has been very few.....And they are so much fun to tour around a city you are working. So I would seriously not let this bother you and start inventing retorts that will straighten things out if ever approached with that question....Most of the time as soon as you open your mouth and start discussing family/GF/dates etc as in general conversation any notion is dispelled quickly.
Honestly, nursing is a female dominated field and that is why the career is considered a feminine job. I asked my 2nd cousin who is a psychologist about your question and she stated that it is very common for stereotypes and stigmas to form around gender dominated professions. For instance she agrees that it is common for a male nurse to be seen as femanine just as a female police officer would be seen as masculine. She also stated that the insecurities you are feeling are a result of you being one of the people that apply this femanine stereotype to nursing. If you project yourself as you wish to be seen, other people will pick up onto this projection.
1. Although many people decide to criticize your post instead of just answering the question, know that your question is fine and understandable. It is not bad to have these questions.
2. If you express your interest in a woman enough so that she knows you are interested in her, then when she finds out that you are a nurse, she will not question you as a straight male because you have shown her previously that you are interested in her.
3. Do not worry about how others see you. I can assure you that an E.R. Nurse deals with many more "Manlier" situations than a construction worker. When the worker cuts his fingers off in a saw, they are not thinking, "I hope I don't get a sissy male nurse at the hospital".
Trust me man, you are questioning your own masculinity much more than other people. You are fine man.
You're acting a tad ridiculous. Did you accidentally grab the Petty O's instead of the Cheerios this morning? Wow. OP asked a question and I have not seen ONE iota of positivity from you. I'd hate to be shadowing you, you'd probably "eat me". Chill. For real.
I have to agree with you. Having read several responses from that poster, I could never be friends with that type of person, who seems to relish putting others down and hurting people. I don't care how many "likes" he/she has. I know nasty when I see it.
not the circumcision part. The ex's in the workplace part.
Oh yeah, great way to make yourself miserable , having a few floating around work that you can't get rid of. In six months you'll be ready for an overly ambitious self circumcision. (been there, done that)
You said that when you were in college, you felt more comfortable saying you were an "engineer", how about a "nursing engineer"? It's no different than a homemaker calling herself a "domestic engineer". Just be proud of who you are and what you do, and that will come across to the women you want to date, because (and this goes for both men and women of any profession), your insecurities in who you are or what you do will come through and that will turn people away. You went through some rough training and education to get where you are. Unless you are happy in what you are doing, (God bless you) why not continue on and become a nurse practitioner or physicians assistant? There is a growing demand for both of them. I wish you the best in your career!
Going to play the devils advocate here for a second folks. Not saying that how OP worded his questions was most ideal, nor am I saying I agree or disagree with OP but lets look at the reality...
Nursing is a female dominated field. I don't have to look up statistics, its a fact.
Gay men are perceived as more feminine. This one is split down the middle, I've known gay males who are as manly as it gets, and I've known a few complete queens. It is safe to say though, gay men are more in tuned with their feminine side.
Because nursing is traditionally a female dominated field, being a male in a female dominated field could indicate feminine qualities in a male. Not saying this is correct, but this is how some individuals might perceive it.
Thus you have the stereotype: males in nursing are gay.
The reality is that most men in nursing are straight. Most of the men I work alongside (I'm a male nurse obviously) are nurses because they were EMT's or medics and were tired of making crap for pay. This is where the "why didn't you go to med school?" question comes in, and my answer? I simply had not enough time and too many things happening for it to be a consideration, thus nursing was a good happy medium between scope of practice, time in school, and pay.
Another thing a ton of you should recognize is his use of the word "uni", OP clearly isn't from the US. It is highly possible that the country or area he lives in is less tolerant of gay males, or minimally that being a gay male has more disadvantages. By automatically assuming that he lives in the US and attacking his comments without taking in consideration culture differences makes you equally at fault for being culturally insensitive.
And finally, as a male nurse, I find it super funny that the females are getting upset when he is poorly representing the males in nursing, and I found nothing about it offensive. If nothing else I chocked it up to being "young and inexperienced in life" and thought nothing of it. We were all there at some point, and we all grew up and realized the world isn't black and white. He will get there.
To OP, if you want to be a nurse, do it. Unless you will get publicly ostracized for being a male nurse, do what you want to do. I make good money, finding a job isn't difficult, schedules (can) be flexible, and I do something that matters... save lives. If any of these things sounds appealing, well there's your incentive to go into nursing.
From what I've seen, female nurses can automatically assume that male nurses are gay. This is unprofessional and inappropriate for them to do.
I've met male healthcare workers who have been concerned of the female nurses thinking that way about them because they see the women gossiping about the new male [insert healthcare position].
However, once they find out that the man is not gay, and they will find out whether he is or not, he will then notice them making advances towards him constantly. At least that's what a lot of male nurses have told me. You're good as long as you are confident in yourself. Women will like you for that alone. We need more male nurses in the field. Good luck!
. He was straight, fiction or no. Don't worry about how you come across. Preconceived ideas reflect on them...not you.
feelix, RN
393 Posts
Dude,
Things are achanging. Ten years ago, I suggested to my son to consider nursing and he said nursing is for gay men. Recently he told me it was OK to be a guy in nursing and a lot of his friends were in nursing school.
Maybe you are moving in a circle that still has old school thinking. Look for friends, neighbors and acquaintances that support your career choice and you would not feel embarrassed. Don't even think of what men working on construction projects will think of you. They are in a different business and just like you don't understand the charm of riding 20 story high girders, they don't understand your thrill in running a code.
Wear your scrubs with pride and ask a nurse out. Give them a break from the security guards. As it is there are so few opportunities of office romance for hetrosexual females nurses.