So I'm a young, single, heterosexual male nurse, and I'm well aware that I'm somewhat of a minority, as most nurses are female, and the ones that aren't, are often gay (yes, I know that is just a silly stereotype, and there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that's beside my point).
Thing is, I'm not even remotely feminine- I have a beard, I listen to heavy metal, I climb mountains, I work out, etcetera. But I get paranoid that most people probably perceive me as a little "girly" or "possibly homosexual", when I talk about being a nurse. I feel especially insecure about my masculinity when I'm walking home wearing my uniform past some heavy set dudes doing roadworks or construction or something "manly". Sometimes, I've even lied about studying nursing at uni- I've sometimes said I'm studying engineering, to seem more masculine.
I'm not ashamed of being a nurse- I'm damn proud! But I feel a little insecure due to the silly non-masculine stereotypes associated with my career choice. I'm also single and looking for a girlfriend, but I sense that women might think I'm gay, or unmanly, due to my profession. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway, my main question is- ladies, do you find male nurses attractive? Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you? Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?
Our image has gotten a lot better over the years. When I first started I heard the term "Male Nurse" applied a lot, which I personally regard as demeaning. You wouldn't say Female Truck Driver or any other job title for that matter.
The word Nurse has an implicit as well as inherent femininity to it. It goes back to the act of nursing (think "wet nurse"). When someone asks me what I do I tell them I'm an RN. It just sounds better to me. If they're not familiar with the term RN that's their problem, but until someone comes up with a more gender neutral job title we're stuck with Nurse.
When it comes to gay nurses I'd say they are in proportion to the general population. One time a neighbor was teasing me about being a nurse and I turned it around quickly by saying in a serious tone, "Are you hitting on me?"
Being a male in nursing sometimes requires an extra measure of self-confidence in one's sexual identity, similar to when a straight man wears an earring/s. I wonder how many men don't consider nursing as a career simply because of the gender stereotype. Nursing requires strength in many forms, take comfort in the fact that many guys couldn't even pass nursing school.
You're acting a tad ridiculous. Did you accidentally grab the Petty O's instead of the Cheerios this morning? Wow. OP asked a question and I have not seen ONE iota of positivity from you. I'd hate to be shadowing you, you'd probably "eat me". Chill. For real.
I have to agree with you. Having read several responses from that poster, I could never be friends with that type of person, who seems to relish putting others down and hurting people. I don't care how many "likes" he/she has. I know nasty when I see it.
An outright sexist post does not deserve a smiley-face, unicorns & rainbows "positive" post. Are you actually defending a male who asks if we females "enjoy" having a male nurse taking care of us? If, in your world, that type of sexism is considered "petty," then have at it.
I'm so tired of naive posters who demand that Internet forums allow only sunshine & happiness in their responses and need to be "friends."
Please.
Get a life.
Stop reading my posts since they cause you distress.
I was married to another RN for seven years ('96-2002), and I then had a long term relationship with another RN for three years and we have remained friendly afterwards, he was one of the most passionate relationships I have ever been involved with. That said, I used to joke that I needed to broaden my horizons obviously, because those relationships did not work. I ended up marrying a man who is now medically retired from law enforcement. He is an amazing and wonderful person and, if you can believe it, was a nursing major originally and did get his RN after graduating with his BSN. He, who was a Sergeant at two of the most notorious prisons in CA, has told me time and again that being a nurse was too difficult for him. He has a tremendous amount of respect for our profession. I swear I did not know about the nursing major thing when we first met, lol, I was trying to break my nurse dating habit.
In regards to women finding male nurses attractive, I would say this: to me, what I find incredible sexy is someone who does their job well, regardless really, of what that job is. My profession is difficult, and when I see a man who does it well, who is smart and savvy, respected by colleagues, loved by patients, that is a turn on for me, I want to know more about that guy. IMO, if you are going to be a nurse, own it, and don't hide it. Our profession deserves respect, and having someone hide what they are doing for a living because they feel it is too "female oriented" just sets us back about fifty years.
The only thing I found unattractive is how concerned you are with the perception of others, especially about your sexuality and 'masculinity'. The most attractive men to me are ones who are unabashedly who they are and love what they love - and are secure in themselves regardless of identified gender, sexual preference or profession. My point is - don't worry about it - the more you do, the more other people do and the people who do are not worth your consideration.
I have been an RN for over 4o years and no one has ever questioned my sexuality however I did get some kidding early in my career. I also personally know a few dozen men who were RN's and not one of them were as you call it...gay. Most were married and most were well respected in their chosen field. Also there are a lot more men who have chosen to be nurses today then ever before.
I agree, the stereotypes just need to die. Am a nurse and massage therapist, have been asked occasionally by morons if my massages have "happy endings" or similar type questions about nursing. But not often, thankfully. I just chalk it up to the developmental and intellectual level of the person asking.
I can't imagine why someone would not be attracted to a male nurse, but I suppose we all have our idiosyncrasies, implicit biases, etc. Unfortunately attractions can't be mandated to be politically correct, they just ARE. But if you are meeting women who say they aren't attracted to you because you are a male nurse, IMHO they are missing out, not you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Their issues.
Find women who don't tend to think traditionally or group others into stereotypes. They're a lot more interesting anyway. I tend to think in terms of what I find interesting/ attractive in other humans, and try not to stress too much about things I cannot control, i.e. why they might not "like" me, especially if the non-like is based on traditional stereotypes. Perhaps it's a useful way of sorting the chaff? :-)
As far as receiving care from caregivers, providers etc... no major preference except prefer female gyn providers. I look for intelligence, empathy, listening skills, etc.
Haha...I couldn't agree more, Wile E Coyote. I mean, the guy made himself vulnerable and shared his thoughts and heart...as if every person on the planet doesn't have insecurities...even the stereotypical "total packages" we like to envision in our minds when thinking about a significant other.
I find it hysterically funny that you would try to introduce citations into what is an personal statement. No citation is needed. This is not a doctoral dissertation. If it is his experience that most male nurses are gay, then that's his experience. To suggest otherwise is demeaning and insulting.
Caroline123
84 Posts
A female who really likes you could care less what your profession is!!:)