This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
All modesty aside, I really work my butt off in duty. I do my best for my patients, help the other staff, answer call bells for patients who are not under my care, volunteer to go to pharmacy myself for their meds,hang new iv's for them while having a smile on my face all the time. Don't get me wrong, i have a good working and pers0nal relationship with everyone. It's only that 1 person im having trouble with. Im torn between letting myself get maligned just to avoid argument from my side and defending myself for once. Im singled out everyday and everyone notices. And the worse part is,we live in the same bldg and my flatmates are friends of hers so she's always in our flat, making me jumpy all the time, as if im still in the hospital.
All modesty aside, I really work my butt off in duty. I do my best for my patients, help the other staff, answer call bells for patients who are not under my care, volunteer to go to pharmacy myself for their meds,hang new iv's for them while having a smile on my face all the time. Don't get me wrong, i have a good working and pers0nal relationship with everyone. It's only that 1 person im having trouble with. Im torn between letting myself get maligned just to avoid argument from my side and defending myself for once. Im singled out everyday and everyone notices. And the worse part is,we live in the same bldg and my flatmates are friends of hers so she's always in our flat, making me jumpy all the time, as if im still in the hospital.
I don't know but I think you may be a standout for some reason and she may really push you to see how well you can do. I know that is not too comforting, but it happens. I am sure glad that these nurses that I have problems with don't hang out at my house. That would be horrid. Sounds like you are doing really well. What would the possible consequences be if you confronted her?
I work on a very busy L & d floor that had a long history of making life very hard on new nurses. It was brutal and many wonderful nurses were lost to blatant bullying. Finally an ingenious nurse created a Mentor program which has proved to be fabulously successful in shifting our culture to one of nurturing our new nurses instead of isolating/picking on new nurses. Each new nurse is assigned an experienced nurse as her "Mentor" once out of orientation. That nurse checks in regularly with the new nurse and acts as a "sounding board" if there are difficulties. The mentor can also act as mediator if there are issues with another nurse. After 6 months working on her own with the support of the Mentor, the new nurse has a "shower" thrown for her where she is bestowed with words of support and encouragement, "cut" from the support of her Mentor (long red licorice cords--what can I say, we're OB nurses) It brings everyone together in a culture consciously choosing to be gentle and supportive with our newbies. It has made a world of difference to retention. Makes us old nurses feel pretty good, too!
This is an INSPIRED, "thinking out of the box", beautiful way to build teamwork. I applaud you and your co-workers. Sometimes we have to be ingenious nurses to bring love into the picture.:redbeathe
Everyday I seek to be inspired and assisted by an infinite source of love rather than strictly relying on my finite self.
If I leave it up to me, I limit myself and my possibilities every time.
I am not sure about addressing someone's voice tone. I think this could be quite subjective. What I might think it a condescending tone , might not to someone else. I guess I would have to see what body language was being used along with it.
Some people when attempting to be patient, and give an explantion moderate their rate and tone of speaking. I have found this to be more that they are choosing their words carefully to be more precise. I know I have a very soft tone of voice that unless I lift it up a level some people tell me they can not fully understand/hear what I am saying.
As this would not be a normal tone of voice for me, I would suspect it would come across as strange to anyone who would listen to it.
It's true that some nurses are mean and demeaning to new nurses. One of the ways I dealt with them criticizing me was to admit that I wasn't very experienced and could you show me the "right" way to do it. Or, "You must have a short cut you"ve learned in your years of nursing" I just agreed that I was stupid etc. Also I would go out of my way to help them or talk nice about them to other people. Sometimes I think(hope) it made them ashamed to treat someone so nasty that was obviously working her tail off and still had time to get the supplies, sign for the pharmacy, answer the phone, or help any resident whether they were"mine" or not. I get along fairly well where I work, and I'm always willing to help or go the extra mile.
I did and still do some of that too, Candy. That is a good approach and I think it works with some but not with others. I definately think it should be in everyones repertoir. Sometimes I make a joke out of things. One of the gals who is just a little more experienced than me and is very young, likes to rag me about being "old." She is a big cutup and hassles every one and can even be a little mean with it. I just tell her that I am so old that I am blind and senile and I need her to keep me in line. She hassles me about every thing, but not about my nursing skills. She does everyone else too. This is her way of keeping negative attention off of herself I believe.
There is a guy who does some work with children on dealing with bullies. I have been to his workshops and the major approach he teaches is making a bigger joke out of the issue. I don't use this each and everytime, but I do sometimes. I also use confrontation of the behavior but am still at a loss in some situations. I have been on the job a bit over a year now, and really do love it. There are one or two people who are just plain hateful. Maybe it is not just because I am still a new nurse, maybe there are other issues at play.
One of the people who continues to be impolite is a very experienced LPN. Often she is the most experienced person on the floor as we have loads of nurses who are even newer than me. If I ask her something she always answers in a very condescending tone. She gives good info but it sounds as if I should have obviously known that. She also undercuts me when I delegate to a tech in her presence on more than one occasion. With our techs having the attitudes that many of them have, I sure don't need her undercutting me. I haven't decided whether to bring this up with her in private, or just keep tolerating it. I think it may be that I am a NEW RN and that she resents me because of that. But I am not keeping her from going back to school. That part is up to her. So far, I have just made it a point to be really nice to her and act as if I don't notice her rudeness.
I am not sure about addressing someone's voice tone. I think this could be quite subjective. What I might think it a condescending tone , might not to someone else. I guess I would have to see what body language was being used along with it.
Some people when attempting to be patient, and give an explantion moderate their rate and tone of speaking. I have found this to be more that they are choosing their words carefully to be more precise. I know I have a very soft tone of voice that unless I lift it up a level some people tell me they can not fully understand/hear what I am saying.
As this would not be a normal tone of voice for me, I would suspect it would come across as strange to anyone who would listen to it.
That is true. For a long time I wasn't certain that was what was going on and I am still not 100% sure. I wonder if there are other things coming in to play. Sometimes it is best just to let things go, but the other night she definately undercut me when I was delegating a task to a tech. I don't need this but I paid her respect of attending to her "suggestion" but it was not helpful. Then considering a lot of it is about tone, I may just keep that part to myself and if the "undercutting" continues I can just deal with that piece.
Specializes in telemetry, medsurg, homecare, psychiatry.
It's too bad that nurses are basically taught to eat their young, old or each Other. I believe this stems from the attitude, and examples set forth by our instructors,and managers. We are taught that it is not appropriate to be anything but PERFECT. So, when we are not, some nurses are constantly trying to prove that others are inferior, or blame co-workers for what may not be anything but PERFECT. I remember being told by a nursing instructor that I should "quit nursing because I don't fit in". Boy, did I prove her wrong. I was young then, but would I like to give her a piece of my mind right now.
I have seen this over and over. The abuse, the critisizm the demeaning of others, usually has no other purpose but to lower themorale of a unit, and decrease productivity.
I learned that in nursing you have to have "Thick Skin"
Stand up for each other. Do not tolerate the abuse. Managers, and schools should learn to take a less punitive approach to training nurses. Rather than making them feel really bad, they should encourage them to bring out their positives, and educate not mutilate.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
it's too bad that nurses are basically taught to eat their young, old or each other. i believe this stems from the attitude, and examples set forth by our instructors,and managers. we are taught that it is not appropriate to be anything but perfect. so, when we are not, we are constantly trying to prove that others are inferior, or blame our co-workers for what may not be anything but perfect. i remember being told by a nursing instructor that i should "quit nursing because i don't fit in". boy, did i prove her wrong. i was young then, but would i like to give her a piece of my mind right now.
i have seen this over and over. the abuse, the critisizm the demeaning of others, usually has no other purpose but to lower themorale of a unit, and decrease productivity.
i learned that in nursing you have to have "thick skin"
keep strong and don't take any bull from anyone!
:yeah::yeah:
thick skin! that's a key to nursing! not only thick skin for those "difficult" patients, but for those "difficult" staff members!
i've been taught by alot of "difficult" people & they make me stronger!
i being an instructor have learned from all those "difficult" people and that makes me a stronger instructor, i appreciate every new nursing student i teach or staff member that i train either rn or lpn.
everyone starts as a new nurse! we have to remember that!!
make the person you are training as good of a nurse as you are!
What should I do? Should I confront her?? Im not good with confrontation and I tend to back down when faced with authority and let them get the upper hand because I'm insecure of being new and thinking that I'd be needing their help the next time. But now that I'm not saying anything about what she's doing I feel like I'm doing myself disservice by not standing up for me. Help please.. I want the morale downgrading to stop.
Sometimes we have to be ingenious nurses to bring love into the picture.:redbeathe
BonesGilmore, LPN, LVN
68 Posts
All modesty aside, I really work my butt off in duty. I do my best for my patients, help the other staff, answer call bells for patients who are not under my care, volunteer to go to pharmacy myself for their meds,hang new iv's for them while having a smile on my face all the time. Don't get me wrong, i have a good working and pers0nal relationship with everyone. It's only that 1 person im having trouble with. Im torn between letting myself get maligned just to avoid argument from my side and defending myself for once. Im singled out everyday and everyone notices. And the worse part is,we live in the same bldg and my flatmates are friends of hers so she's always in our flat, making me jumpy all the time, as if im still in the hospital.