This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
Now I see where your ID came from. That is so cool.
I have thought of doing prison work as an RN. It actually seems interesting. I have a very strong self image. I am certainly not afraid of work.
I work for Prison Health Services if you want to look into the company that I work for you can pm me, i will give you a link to the company, we are in prisons all over the USA...................
Its like a MASH unit, we don't do the same thing two days in a row!!! thats what keeps us sharp on all our skills!!
My intent was to show that there are examples of nurses who do eat their young.
Understood. I can come up with examples myself. Know that you're going to come across such people and learn the skills to deal with them. Sounds like you handled it well. Seriously anyone screaming at the top of their lungs should have been ejected from the building.
WHy not put your energy into advocating for us, instead of protesting the terminology so much??? I have read a lot of your posts and I think you are a pretty smart guy but I don't understand why you are a bit thin skinned about the phrase? It is just an analogy.
Mahage
To me it's not "just an analogy", it's a stereotype.
In the 100's of posts I've made in this thread I don't think I've once denied the existance of lateral violence in nursing. I've advocated that new grads know that it exists and learn skills to deal with it. I will support anyone that comes across that kind of situation.
I don't know why I cringe or am so thin skinned when I ear "nurses eat their young", but I feel like that I am an advocate for nurses when I say that we aren't that kind of profession overall. I worked hard to be a nurse, I'm a good nurse, I make a difference in people's lives and perhaps have even saved a few. It's not a perfect profession by no means, but why surrender to the idea that nursing is nothing but a bunch of catty, back stabbing, gossiping nurse eating people? Why bust your butt making a 4.0 in pre-reqs, stay on a waiting list for two years, nearly kill yourself in nursing school to enter such profession full of such dreadful people?
Actually quiet well. I am a realist. I know well the power of positive self talk, however you have to start based on what is, not on what you wish. Yes, change is an inside job. You have to change the way you react to the negative or the stressors you encounter, unfortunately denying them won't get you anywhere. Sometimes it involves confrontation of others behavior, sometimes venting, sometimes re-evaluting your actions and planning for change. All of this is about inside changes as your thoughts and strategies change and evolve as you go on. Mahage
No. You don't have to start with what is! And you absolutely have to get in touch with what you wish!!!!!!!!!!! That's the whole point.
I'm sick of being a realist. I'm sick of the feeling that this job is humanly impossible and it's never gonna change. I'm sick of feeling like a victim in nursing.
This forum and other forums are filled with nurses pouring their hearts out about the frustrations of nursing. I see it all the time. Nurses asking what to do about their insomnia. Nurses asking about what to do with their anxieties. Nurses writing about their frustrations with co-workers, patients, families, management. Nurses talking about how there's never enough help when they need it. The amount of energy being put into the PROBLEM is incredible. The reality of nursing is grueling.
I'm asking you to dream. In your wildest dreams, what would your nursing experience feel like? (FORGET reality for a minute)
Because, after all, how is being a realist working for ya? Why not put it out there to "the universe" or whatever faith you practice that you need some HELP. Put it in writing. I dare you! And by the way, you are going to need a strong spiritual belief system to survive in nursing.
I'm simply suggesting that you USE your faith. Ask for what you want.
examples:
I have all the help I need to take good care of my patients.
I have all the skills I need to take care of my patients.
I have a manageable pace to my work day.
I take regular breaks and practice good self care at work.
I leave work on time regularly.
I have all the resource personnel that I need at my fingertips to help take care of my patients.
There is more than ENOUGH for me in the world.
I chart quickly and efficiently.
I am safe and protected at work.
I am happy at work.
I build teamwork at work.
I am well respected at work.
Yes. It's an inside job. Ask yourself what you WANT. What do your wildest "Nursing dreams" look like...then write them down in a 79-cent note book. (there's a few other steps to the system, but this is the most important one!)
Pen to paper is extremely powerful.
Yes, there will be confrontations, venting sessions, reevaluating your strategies. And each time those scenarios come up, ask "the universe" for even MORE help in writing.
examples:
I am confident when dealing with ______.
I am compassionate when dealing with_____.
I forgive ______.
I am calm when dealing with ______.
I speak up for myself with ______.
I assert myself with _____.
I know with crystal clarity how to proceed with _____.
The situation with _____ is resolved with good for ALL concerned.
The exact point is to NOT look at past history to determine your future. Just because something has always been a certain way, doesn't mean it's always got to stay that way. This IS about dreaming. This is about creating the reality you want.
And by all means DON'T look to the past to determine your future. Yuck! Instead, each and every time you have a fear, worry or "situation with someone" come up that you need help with...Ask!
No. You don't have to start with what is! And you absolutely have to get in touch with what you wish!!!!!!!!!!! That's the whole point.
I'm sick of being a realist. I'm sick of the feeling that this job is humanly impossible and it's never gonna change. I'm sick of feeling like a victim in nursing.
This forum and other forums are filled with nurses pouring their hearts out about the frustrations of nursing. I see it all the time. Nurses asking what to do about their insomnia. Nurses asking about what to do with their anxieties. Nurses writing about their frustrations with co-workers, patients, families, management. Nurses talking about how there's never enough help when they need it. The amount of energy being put into the PROBLEM is incredible. The reality of nursing is grueling.
I'm asking you to dream. In your wildest dreams, what would your nursing experience feel like? (FORGET reality for a minute)
Because, after all, how is being a realist working for ya? Why not put it out there to "the universe" or whatever faith you practice that you need some HELP. Put it in writing. I dare you! And by the way, you are going to need a strong spiritual belief system to survive in nursing.
I'm simply suggesting that you USE your faith. Ask for what you want.
examples:
I have all the help I need to take good care of my patients.
I have all the skills I need to take care of my patients.
I have a manageable pace to my work day.
I take regular breaks and practice good self care at work.
I leave work on time regularly.
I have all the resource personnel that I need at my fingertips to help take care of my patients.
There is more than ENOUGH for me in the world.
I chart quickly and efficiently.
I am safe and protected at work.
I am happy at work.
I build teamwork at work.
I am well respected at work.
Yes. It's an inside job. Ask yourself what you WANT. What do your wildest "Nursing dreams" look like...then write them down in a 79-cent note book. (there's a few other steps to the system, but this is the most important one!)
Pen to paper is extremely powerful.
Yes, there will be confrontations, venting sessions, reevaluating your strategies. And each time those scenarios come up, ask "the universe" for even MORE help in writing.
examples:
I am confident when dealing with ______.
I am compassionate when dealing with_____.
I forgive ______.
I am calm when dealing with ______.
I speak up for myself with ______.
I assert myself with _____.
I know with crystal clarity how to proceed with _____.
The situation with _____ is resolved with good for ALL concerned.
The exact point is to NOT look at past history to determine your future. Just because something has always been a certain way, doesn't mean it's always got to stay that way. This IS about dreaming. This is about creating the reality you want.
And by all means DON'T look to the past to determine your future. Yuck! Instead, each and every time you have a fear, worry or "situation with someone" come up that you need help with...Ask!
I am very familiar with new age thought. I practiced it through the late 80's and 90's and finally came to realize that I was missing a piece. Unfortunately it was too easy to deny reality. Once I started accepting reality of the way things were, then I was able to have a firm basis to build on. It isn't as pretty or pleasant that way sometimes. I certainly don't reject all of this practice. Affirmations are important. I generally refer to them as positive self talk. It is also important to be aware and cognicent of the good in others and in situations. I wish the total new age concept worked but I have been there and done that and it doesn't work as well as grounding my actions in the reality of what is. Prayer, sending out energy to the universe does work, but sometimes the answer is "grow some gazungas and confront the person whose behavior is making it rough for you!" Even Christ got angry with cause. I wish I never had to do that, but am glad that I can today. Accepting my humaness and my dark side has been part of my journey.
Understood. I can come up with examples myself. Know that you're going to come across such people and learn the skills to deal with them. Sounds like you handled it well. Seriously anyone screaming at the top of their lungs should have been ejected from the building.
To me it's not "just an analogy", it's a stereotype.
In the 100's of posts I've made in this thread I don't think I've once denied the existance of lateral violence in nursing. I've advocated that new grads know that it exists and learn skills to deal with it. I will support anyone that comes across that kind of situation.
I don't know why I cringe or am so thin skinned when I ear "nurses eat their young", but I feel like that I am an advocate for nurses when I say that we aren't that kind of profession overall. I worked hard to be a nurse, I'm a good nurse, I make a difference in people's lives and perhaps have even saved a few. It's not a perfect profession by no means, but why surrender to the idea that nursing is nothing but a bunch of catty, back stabbing, gossiping nurse eating people? Why bust your butt making a 4.0 in pre-reqs, stay on a waiting list for two years, nearly kill yourself in nursing school to enter such profession full of such dreadful people?
Tweety,
Definately not "Nothing but...." There are some really good people on my unit. I don't scare off easily, so the nasty ones have not managed to do anything but make me more determined to be a fantastic nurse with the help of the good guys (and girls)! I am perhaps different from a 24 year old in her first professional job. Maybe not, maybe I am even more vulnerable because sometimes I think I look really stupid because I have had nurses tell me that they didn't know I was a new grad or they thought I had been an LPN and gone back to school. So I guess I may appear really slow sometimes to one who doesn't know or forgets that I was a new grad. Anyhow I do know there were situations which were inexcusable, but my self concept is good enough that I can show my face even though I have been reemed out publicly by an acting charge who has nothing better to do than make someone feel/look bad rather than answering my questions. I used to dread going in when I knew that this chick or the ANM were going to be charge, because the ANM wasn't a whole lot better. I get along fine with both of them now, though the ANM frequently answers my questions as if I haven't been working a year, rather than giving me the specific answer I am seeking, where she used to answer all my questions with a question. Over all she is okay. These two on my shift and the two day shift nurses who make a hobby out of tearing you apart during report were my four problems. I have far more than 4 who have been not just good but wonderful. This thread however is not about the good guys, it is about the dreaded cannibal! Let's start a thread about the good guys in nursing? I would love to post on that one too!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
why not put your energy into advocating for us, instead of protesting the terminology so much??? i have read a lot of your posts and i think you are a pretty smart guy but i don't understand why you are a bit thin skinned about the phrase? it is just an analogy.
mahage
because the terminology is a fallacy. there are some nurses who are less than nurturing, but you're branding the whole profession based on those few nurses. it's not "just an analogy." it's a whole attitude that brands nurses negatively. instead of wasting your energy perpetuating that negativity, why not work to change it? start by thinking of all the nurses who helped you along the way!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
it is nowhere near as pervasive a problem as some make it out to be.
i think you're right. i also believe that a lot of those who are screaming the loudest about nurses eating their young are contributing to the problem! either they're perpetuating the stereotype, or they're causing some of their own interpersonal problems.
i think you're right. i also believe that a lot of those who are screaming the loudest about nurses eating their young are contributing to the problem! either they're perpetuating the stereotype, or they're causing some of their own interpersonal problems.
while i agree that not every nurse is out to eat their young, those that do tend to get away with it, and that the effect is just so damaging on new nurses. i have seen even the most supportive nurse say absolutely nothing when a young nurse is being bullied and harassed. maybe they don't want to rock the boat, they know that this is just how things are, this nurse is always like this to newbies.
whether you believe that this is just another nursing stereotype, or like me believe there these problems exist more in nursing than most other jobs, imho we should all be responsible for dealing with this bad behaviour.
because the terminology is a fallacy. there are some nurses who are less than nurturing, but you're branding the whole profession based on those few nurses. it's not "just an analogy." it's a whole attitude that brands nurses negatively. instead of wasting your energy perpetuating that negativity, why not work to change it? start by thinking of all the nurses who helped you along the way!
according to the research negative behavior toward new nurses is pervasive in the field. i think of the good ones quiet fondly because without them very early on i don't think i could have gotten through many nights. even this morning i was relieved to see that one of the best who had helped me along the way then transfered to days. it was a heck of a night and i knew that she would not be derogatory or insulting. i also knew that she would be able to answer some questions i had about my patient.
i think it is interesting that you find it so offensive that i and several others on here feel strongly that the analogy/stereotype fits many times and you seem to overlook the fact that i have said that i think there are some great people in nursing, to whom i am very greatful. i don't see the two as being mutually exclusive.
no offense is intended. it is the name of the thread. i feel that cannibalism is found all too frequently in our profession. i am not perpetuating the stereotype because i treat my less experienced peers, (may grads) with respect and courtesy just as i treat my more experienced peers with respect and courtesy. i expect the same from each of them.
fortunately i have not been witness to anyone getting eaten with the exception of one nurse who scolded my preceptee for not putting a "hat" in a patients commode. i intervened and told said nurse that i failed to tell her that, it was my mistake and not the preceptees. she said nothing to me, where she had really been fussing at my preceptee. i thought she was being a bit excessive with the scolding, though certainly not as nasty as i have had 4 other nurses treat me. this is the extent of what i have witnessed with other nurses, but i usually don't have a lot of time to see what others are doing and saying because i am so busy with my own stuff. i have been told some other things but didn't see them.
it is the people who behave in a negative manner that are perpetuating the stereotype. just because i believe it fits, does not mean i am perpetuating it. in fact i am motivated to counteraction because of it.
i think you're right. i also believe that a lot of those who are screaming the loudest about nurses eating their young are contributing to the problem! either they're perpetuating the stereotype, or they're causing some of their own interpersonal problems.
ruby, i believe you might consider how your own byline,( quote from gbs) might apply to my opinions as stated.
I am very familiar with new age thought. I practiced it through the late 80's and 90's and finally came to realize that I was missing a piece. Unfortunately it was too easy to deny reality. Once I started accepting reality of the way things were, then I was able to have a firm basis to build on. It isn't as pretty or pleasant that way sometimes. I certainly don't reject all of this practice. Affirmations are important. I generally refer to them as positive self talk. It is also important to be aware and cognicent of the good in others and in situations. I wish the total new age concept worked but I have been there and done that and it doesn't work as well as grounding my actions in the reality of what is. Prayer, sending out energy to the universe does work, but sometimes the answer is "grow some gazungas and confront the person whose behavior is making it rough for you!" Even Christ got angry with cause. I wish I never had to do that, but am glad that I can today. Accepting my humaness and my dark side has been part of my journey.
Mahage
rock on...I know we all know about the law of attraction...I know I'm not teaching you anything you don't already know...
it's just that there's a difference between "knowing" about a tool and really, really picking it up and using it.
and furthermore, you don't have to believe that it will even work for it to WORK...it's a law. Ask and it is given. If you want to ask to grow some gazungas and confront someone's behavior that is making it rough for you then ask,
example:
I am assertive.
I stand up for myself.
I speak up for myself.
I conduct myself in an appropriate manner during confrontation.
I have a voice during an argument.
I speak clearly and confidently.
I am heard by my co-worker.
I ask for what I want.
I recognize when I am angry.
I speak up for myself in a professional manner when I am angry.
All those in my life are for my highest good, all others fade away.
I am respected.
put it down in writing...ask.
don't limit this tool.
there are three possible answers you can get...but I won't go into that right now (see my blog listed in my profile)...but suffice it to say that you must trust your spiritual source (God for me) to provide in whatever way he sees fit for what you need and want...my job is to just keep asking
remember seek and yee shall find? it's my job to seek (ask)!
I much prefer the feeling of working for him (have him be my employer) and relying on him to meet my needs at work than that helpless feeling of relying on the humans that run my hospital...he's infinite, they're finite. It relieves my stress. It's effective. It works.
When you're out of supplies at work, don't you ask your employer to provide you with more? Well this is the same thing. Ask for what you want. This is a highly empowering tool Mahage!
nurselsteele
111 Posts
I work for Prison Health Services if you want to look into the company that I work for you can pm me, i will give you a link to the company, we are in prisons all over the USA...................
Its like a MASH unit, we don't do the same thing two days in a row!!! thats what keeps us sharp on all our skills!!