Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Critical Care, Corrections.

Davey, I'm a longtime member of this site. Deleted my original username. Been following this thread for months now. I'm sorry this happened to you.

However, let me tell you my story about how a 'someone' used my post on AllNurses to report me to management for which I was written up.

I posted a situation about how a certain patient was in iso precautions and his wife was making untoward demands on staff. I was asking how to deal with it. This was back in 2002. NEVER named the patient, or his prominence in our community at the time. Yet 'someone' found that post, printed it off and turned me into management at Altruistic county hospital. While I didn't get fired, I did take that as a sign of how I'd be treated in the future. and I DID have union back up at the time. They were of no help.

Best wishes to you in your future!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
13 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

Oh no, say it isn't so. I guess your admin did in fact see how low they can go!

I hope they didn't drag out more photos.

WOW!! This is a pretty incredible post, Daisy.

Evidence, taken out of context from the Nursing Humor forum thread "This Is Not Funny!"

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"Isn't this you saying, '...there's no telling how low I will go!'?"

Actually, it is me, an image taken from a photo in a medical center's newsletter of me being presented with the DAISY award.

The medical center did not have my permission to post my image in their newsletter, did they?

This is a detail of the original image:

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Seriously? Is Nephew Neoptism related to the CEO or somebody? That's just ridiculous!

Davey, I hate things took the turn they did but the more info you share the more I'm glad you left that hellhole. The level of trifling is astounding. I would love to say I've never seen anything like that, but unfortunately I have. Even though it wasn't me who went through the drama I left because these are our lives, our livelihoods, and our character under attack. It's always the ones who work and abide by the rules who are shafted while the do nothings and drama kings/queens get praised. My mind doesn't process BS!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
9 hours ago, FNPtobe2020 said:

While I didn't get fired, I did take that as a sign of how I'd be treated in the future.

Thank you very much for your post, FNtobe. Your situation was much like mine and I truly commiserate with you.

When my wife and I discussed things before the termination outcome, she asked if I would return to work if my conditions were met. I told her that if I did, I would be smittened with the Mark of Cain.

In no way am I happy with the way things turned out, but I am able to hold my head high and say, "I did the best I could under the circumstances!"

I watched "What About Schmidt?" last night, and at his retirement party, a toast was made. The toast said something along the lines of, "If you can retire knowing that you've contributed something to the world, you can retire a rich man".

I feel as though I am a rich man.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
40 minutes ago, NurseBlaq said:

our livelihoods, and our character under attack

Yes! This says it all!

I could work at Wrongway and put up with the BS as long as it did not affect my ability to render care to my patients or compromise my principles. When the safety of my patients was jeopardized, legalities were misinterpreted, and that misinterpretation was condoned by administration, I had to challenge that action and be willing to die on the Hill of Clark if need be.

I feel as though I died a rather proud death.

Albeit, unnecessary.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Looks vaguely familiar. You can be a completely loose cannon of an employee, no problem. But point out any issues with your workplace or your employers, you're the problem. Some of these people are incredibly inept, petty and defensive.

By the way - to borrow an advertising slogan used by a Canadian bank - You're richer than you think.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

At this point Davey, all I can do is shake my head. This brings back so many fond memories. Well, okay, not fond, but I have never stopped laughing to myself at how ridiculous some people are willing to make themselves.

Remember the people who put me on admin leave because of my union activities? Their positions were eliminated two years later. That's what their blind company loyalty bought them.

I really hope you have some friends in the building who can keep you updated on what goes on. You haven't had the last laugh yet.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
28 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

Remember the people who put me on admin leave because of my union activities? Their positions were eliminated two years later. That's what their blind company loyalty bought them.

I really hope you have some friends in the building who can keep you updated on what goes on. You haven't had the last laugh yet.

Yeah, TriciaJ "What goes 'round..."

I have a tendency to leave a place and be done with it. I've made really close friends with coworkers over the years, and no matter what, they drift away.

Of course being antisocial may have something to do with it.

I'm not going to rely on my fiends to keep me updated, but I will, as one of my past coworkers suggested, "Move into town and buy a newspaper!"

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Yes, work friends do have the habit of drifting away when one of you no longer works there. I've changed jobs enough times to know that.

Maybe in a couple of years you'll run into someone at the post office and get an update. You'll spend the rest of the day high-fiving yourself for being long gone.

In the meantime, yes, shake the dust from that place off you.

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