Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

It has been said, "If you don't like the weather here in the midwest, wait five minutes".

So now it is dark, cold, and cloudy. I did, however, get a couple of projects done.

I talked with CEO Ted's administrative secretary, Jackie, and confirmed that the fax was received. However, it seems that Ted is no longer CEO at Wrongway, as he has accepted "a higher position at a sister facility". Wrongway's new CEO is Petcock Gerber.

Jackie was very pleasant and helpful and informed me that Ted is not leaving Wrongway matters undone. She sent my fax to Ted, took my name, home phone number, and email address and assured me she would relay my message to him.

Unsure of what sort of action to take, I guess I'll wait for communication from Ted and then act accordingly.

In answer to TricaJ: Yes, I believe Rita expected me to pick one of those times to meet, yet she did not specify the type of meeting- in her office, or a teleconference, the last which she postponed until "next week". She did not communicate with me for a full week until after I sent her a follow up email. I will not enable her to assume a meeting would take place in her office, as I noted to her that after the last meeting in her office, in March 2017, resolved nothing.

I included in the fax to Ted that I was requesting him to "oversee this resolution process".

Administration can, and probably will, blame me for anything they can get their hands on and I'm alright with that. I am in a position to walk away from these matters with a plan for my future, I'm just wanting to do an Eagles' song and "Take it to the Limit".

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, caliotter3 said:

My grandson who is artistic decorates work aprons of coworkers with a marker. I told him he should charge for his services. Art deserves a place at work!

I was into a freelance art thing from 1996 to 2003, making some money from shows and commissions. Before and since then, I do my art for free or barter.

While working ER/med surg at Buoy Memorial in 1992-93, I would post a drawing or cartoon at the time clock. One staff member approached me, complimented my artwork, and asked if I would do a painting on a sweatshirt for her. I said, "Sure, just get me the sweatshirt and buy some fabric paints in the colors you want and I'll be glad to do it".

That staff member looked at me as if I had insulted her, as I guess she expected me to buy everything and give her the sweatshirt as a payback for complimenting my artwork!

Yes, caliotter, art does deserve a place at work and the artist needs to be compensated, if only with appreciation! And if money can be made, it's the icing on the cake!

4 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I just sent this email to HR Rita. I want her to know that I'm not just resting on my laurels and am being proactive:

I have just spoken with Jackie, the administrative secretary, and she informed me that Mr. Bumblingham has taken another position at a sister hospital. However, Jackie said that Ted is not leaving his business undone and she has sent my faxes to him. Jackie will assure that Ted knows my home phone number and email address, in order for him to contact me.

4 Votes
Specializes in Dialysis.
31 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

That staff member looked at me as if I had insulted her, as I guess she expected me to buy everything and give her the sweatshirt as a payback for complimenting my artwork!

Yes, caliotter, art does deserve a place at work and the artist needs to be compensated, if only with appreciation! And if money can be made, it's the icing on the cake!

I do artwork, different medium. It's unbelievable how family, friends, coworkers, and even total strangers expect me to create freebies for them. No one gives me the supplies for free! I tell them to buy the supplies and give me a couple of bucks (literally a couple of bucks) for my time and wear n tear on my tools. My family is the worst with the expectation. The only peeps who get freebies are the grandbabies and DH.

I'm glad you're enjoying some other activities. Just because Wrongway Rita wants to polish a turd, sprinkle it with sugar, and call it a donut, doesn't mean that you've gotta eat it! Most people would've caved by now. I'm absolutely proud of your resolve!

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I got a really good chuckle out of this:

7 minutes ago, Hoosier_RN said:

Just because Wrongway Rita wants to polish a turd, sprinkle it with sugar, and call it a donut, doesn't mean that you've gotta eat it!

Or maybe she would like me to eat some of...

348467263_fecespieces.thumb.png.a04f4c2e5487169adfcbaa3073911c53.pngThank you for the kind words on my integrity and resolve, Hoosier!

What type of media do you "manipulate in order to achieve an emotional response"? Can you share some of your works?

You know, there are websites where you can post, and even receive commission on works you may desire to profit from.

And, heck, if your work is nursing related, you could even share it here on good ol' allnurses!

Thank you for your comment and support, Hosier!

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

By the way Davey - since you were told not to come to work for the time being, you should be on PAID administrative leave.

4 Votes
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
28 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

By the way Davey - since you were told not to come to work for the time being, you should be on PAID administrative leave.

Or at least running out your PTO, depending on you p/p after you retire etc. When I left my full time job I was only allowed to collect some of the accrued time.

3 hours ago, Davey Do said:

I just sent this email to HR Rita. I want her to know that I'm not just resting on my laurels and am being proactive:

However, Jackie said that Ted is not leaving his business undone and she has sent my faxes to him. Jackie will assure that Ted knows my home phone number and email address, in order for him to contact me.

If I had a nickel for every response I received like this one!

Although I DO hope that you hear from Mr Bumblehead and that it is indeed a worthwhile one.

I too am glad that you are standing up and hope this plays out the way you want it to, but very glad you have an exit strategy as well!

3 Votes
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

That staff member looked at me as if I had insulted her, as I guess she expected me to buy everything and give her the sweatshirt as a payback for complimenting my artwork!

3 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:

I do artwork, different medium. It's unbelievable how family, friends, coworkers, and even total strangers expect me to create freebies for them.

I used to oil paint. Started when I was about 12yo, stopped for awhile and then started again. My friends, family, others would always ask for a painting. Although it was a little flattering it really became a nuisance because it began to feel more like a chore instead of just being enjoyable, not to mention how expensive materials cost.

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
38 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

By the way Davey - since you were told not to come to work for the time being, you should be on PAID administrative leave.

I did not even think of this, but don't believe they will give me paid time off, TriciaJ. I was the one who said, "I will not be accepting any work assignments until (certain criteria is met)". HR Rita later said, "you are not to report to your scheduled shift until we have a chance to meet and discuss".

I was suspended without pay from Anomaly State Hospital back in '92 without pay. I've heard of others being suspended without pay.

What leads you to believe that I should be paid on administrative leave, TriciaJ?

1 Votes
3 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:

I'm glad you're enjoying some other activities. Just because Wrongway Rita wants to polish a turd, sprinkle it with sugar, and call it a donut, doesn't mean that you've gotta eat it! Most people would've caved by now. I'm absolutely proud of your resolve!

Took me out ?

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
13 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

Or at least running out your PTO, depending on you p/p after you retire etc. When I left my full time job I was only allowed to collect some of the accrued time.

If I had a nickel for every response I received like this one!

Although I DO hope that you hear from Mr Bumblehead and that it is indeed a worthwhile one.

I too am glad that you are standing up and hope this plays out the way you want it to, but very glad you have an exit strategy as well!

I didn't think of this either, Daisy, as I've got about 50 hours of frozen vacation time when I started weekend option back in '03. I should have a little PTO, too. You and TriciaJ have given me food for thought.

I don't get the "nickel for every response". Could you elaborate?

And, Daisy, let's not be disrespectful. It's not "Mr. Bumblehead"! It's "Mr. Bumblingham"!

I've recently gotten a text that my little sister is in the hospital, is to have a portacath placed, and doesn't want to talk about it until she comes home. Since colon cancer runs in my family- my grandmother had a colostomy in 1950, my Dad died from metastasized cancer, probably with its origin in the colon, and I had a cancerous colon polyp removed in 2000- I'm guessing little sister has colon cancer. I had a dream last night she told me that she had cancer of the descending and sigmoid colon.

I tell you this in conjunction with your statement of "an exit strategy", Daisy, as my retirement at this time would be conducive to spending more time with little sister.

I'll keep you all apprised.

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
23 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

My friends, family, others would always ask for a painting. Although it was a little flattering it really became a nuisance

It's hell being talented.

3 Votes
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