Discouraged - vent

Hey all! I'm getting very discouraged here. You see, I've been a stay at home mom for the last 5 years...and I've never been to college. I'm waiting on my husband to give me the okay to start my pre-req's (we have no one or no $$ for sitters so he'd be the one watching them) and I keep getting pushed back. In the summer he said I'd probably be starting in the spring. Here we are nearing the spring semester and it's "this isn't going to work yet". I want to do this before I lose my passion for it. As the time goes on I lose faith that I will be able to do well in the classes (I was more of a partier in high school and just did what needed to be done to scrape by).

Anyone else ever been in my shoes? Any advice?

Congrats to all of you who finished up your semester with awesome grades! I hope I'll be doing that soon!

What's he waiting for? If he is having trouble changing his work schedule that's one thing. If it's a matter of him waiting to get in the mood to watch the kids, well, that's different. In the meantime, have you looked into online courses? I'm doing lpn-rn at my local comm. college and in addition to the traditional classes I've attended, I've completed 3 of my prereqs online. Online classes are great for moms.

Have you looked into online classes through a community college near you? You might me able to get some things done with those. I love online classes b/c I hate going to class and attendance has always hindered my progress and since I have found online classes my grades are better. Another option that I do is I always take one night class. The night classes near me are one night a week and is like 3 hours long. Hope this helps, these are something I didnt learn right off but wish I did. Good luck and don't lose you passion for nursing. I had a teacher that always said nursing is a job but it also becomes who you are. So, dont worry you'll get there eventually just like the rest of us!

Kenny

Hi! Since there is no $$ you need to tell hubby that you going on with a great career as nursing, money will not be tight soon. Also I'd tell him children are for us BOTH, he has to give some too and watch them. You'll defenitely have a full load with school & kiddos, so he can help too, since what you will be doing will benefit the whole family. My husband works ALOT of hours, sometimes double shifts. When I start nursing school in Jan, I'll be in school 40 hours a week and we also have 3 children and he had to change into graveyard shift so he can get the kids after school & make dinner (lol). Its just how it has to be. I'll keep them thro the night and off to school and he has them the afternoon and evening. When I graduate though my husband knows the money flow will be well worth the struggle and wait. Best wishes, keep on. Do not stop what YOU want to do.

I'm not trying to be mean, but just give my point of view. Why do you have to wait for him to ok it? I have problems with Dad's who think taking care of their children when mom is gone as babysitting. I am a stay at home mom myself, I just returned back to school this past semester, being a stay at home mom is a hard job . . . if you want to do this for yourself then I say go for it whether he likes it or not.

Yes, it's your job while hubby is working to care for kiddo's, I'll agree with that, but after he gets off work, kiddos are both of your responsibility, you have been working hard all day too.

My dh travels Monday thru Thrus every week, let me tell you Fridays are mine, he takes over, sometimes it does take a little nudging on my part but hey, I need some ME time and what's that saying "if mommy ain't happy nobody's happy".

If it's about the money, there are plenty of options, grants if you qualify financially, scholarships and student loans. I also agree with on-line classes, not as much time spent away from home and you do them on your own schedule (sometimes midnight for me).

I wish you all the luck, it'll be hard if he's not supportive. If this is what you really want to do, then don't let anyone stand in your way.

Do your classes online, then once you are done, apply directly to nursing school. Don't wait for you husbands okay. Sorry if I sound mean, I'm not trying too, but you deserve to be able to do what you've waited so long for, and they are his kids also, it doesn't matter if he is working fulltime, you are working fulltime also (raising the kids), so he is just going to have to make it work.

If you need money, take out student loans. These are worth it, it is an investment in your education.

I am in somewhat of a similar situation. It’s been 15 years since I graduated high school, and only took a few classes in college before dropping out. So I am basically starting from the beginning, and was nervous about it. I have 2 kids, work full time and am taking my pre-req’s through an online community college at night. I only have to show up in person for mid-terms and finals, and that can be done on the weekend. I have put my foot down and said that when my pre-req’s are done I am entering nursing school full time and NOT working. He has about a year (or longer depending how long it takes to get in) to figure out how he’s going to make this work money wise. In the long run it will be so worth it. Don’t let anybody hold you back! I say start with your pre-req’s now.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you need to wait until your husband ok's it for you to start school?? Have you thought about doing online classes? I took some online classes, and it was so much better, because I didn't have to be away from home and my family, but I did take most of my classes in class. My husband didn't really like it either, because it meant him having to take care of our kids, but hey, they're his kids too! I would say start with prereqs now and try doing them online. Don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams!

Yay for sahm's.. I'm one too and I am in a similar situation to you. I go to school at night when hubby can stay with our two children. Money is a factor and so is daycare paranoia! lol.

Okay I mean well here, so don't take this the wrong way.. but sometimes when people are ambivelent (sp?) about things, such as starting to go to school again , the significant other senses leeway to push the idea aside.

Do you know his work schedule? Make yourself a school schedule and show him, tell him how HAPPY this will make you.

I think the main problem is that he works 10 hour days (and his schedule can't be changed) and when he gets home (at 5:30) he doesn't want to take over as "dad". There's dinner to be made, kids to bathe, messes to be cleaned up, but he's just tired from being on his feet all day. I understand his point, but it's not like I'm sitting on the couch eating brownies all day. I work hard, too. Money might be an issue, too, and I've been trying to find out what we'd qualify for for financial aid without having to actually sne din my money to the college to apply, but I'm having a hard time getting any answers. He really won't come right out and tell me what the issue is and I don't want to pry and then make him get all defensive...afterall, he's busting his hump so I can stay home and raise the babies, not foot my bill for school.

About online courses - is there any minimum computer requirements? I'm currently in the stoneage of Windows 98 w/ a 28.8 modem connection speed.

I'll try and talk to him about it in the next few nights and see if I can get anything out of him. Thanks for letting me vent!

I think the main problem is that he works 10 hour days (and his schedule can't be changed) and when he gets home (at 5:30) he doesn't want to take over as "dad". There's dinner to be made, kids to bathe, messes to be cleaned up, but he's just tired from being on his feet all day.

I'm sorry I just don't understand this, they are his kids too, my dh is on his feet all day and still comes home and does his fair share . . . but I knew when I married him he would be a very "hands on" father.

Don't worry about going to back to school after a long break, lots of people do it and do very well. I'm not sure what system requirements are for online classes, but maybe you can check the local colleges on-line, they should list the requirements for online classes.

Good luck!

swampcat-

hang in there! I do agree with other posts- I guess I don't understand why he doesn't want to take over as "dad"- he is one!! But I do totally understand too, because my husband works 10-12 hour days and even when I was working full time he still expected me to do all the household stuff (which I get on him about anyway! :) ) Anyway, my point is no one can tell you what or when or how to do anything! But being married you have to work as a team, so try to help him understand how important this is to you! Whenever I start taking my own initiative, (doing things in my own life without asking permission from him) he starts to see that- hey- she's gonna do this whether I like it or not- and then he really wants to help because he can see that no the house isn't going to fall to pieces and life still carries on normally- I hope this all makes sense...just go for it!

Life's too short not to do something that will make you happy!

I am a single mom, so I can understand where you are coming from in regards to your kids and daycare. I can't afford it, but my sister and I traded babysitting for a while when I couldn't afford daycare. I would work early hours in the morning when she would sleep (and my son), and be home in afternoons to watch her son in exchange. During this time I would work on any online classes I was enrolled in. My son is two, so not old enough to be in elementary school. I had planned on working on any and all applicable Pre-nursing online classes I could during this time until he enters school or find affordable daycare. I was extremely lucky in getting subsidized daycare this past year, so I can work and attend on-campus classes during normal hours. Perhaps you could either try online classes for a couple semesters or find subsidized daycare. Do you have any relatives that can take your children for 3-5 hours 2x a week to attend classes? Maybe do a mixture of online and on-campus to minimize your daycare needs. Just some options to consider.

Edited to add: Maybe (if all else fails) you could get a graveyard shift to pay for daycare needs. Maybe trade babysitting with a trusted friend? Maybe even check out your local church, etc. Lots of options out there!

Also wanted to add: I did my online classes with dial-up and Windows XP. Nothing fancy. If you go to your colleges website and check out the online classes, it is usually under a different section and there you will find the requirements you need. For instance my college is College of the Desert. The website is desertonline.net . I found it under the STUDENT section on the front page. You can probably do the same for your college. You can probably take classes such as Freshman Comp, Sociology, Intermediate Algebra, and upper courses such as Statistics. Those are some that are applicable to Pre-Nursing. Perhpas start with a councelor to help you so that you are informed and perhaps show your husband how much this means to you by doing all the research needed. Good Luck.