Discouraged - vent

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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Hey all! I'm getting very discouraged here. You see, I've been a stay at home mom for the last 5 years...and I've never been to college. I'm waiting on my husband to give me the okay to start my pre-req's (we have no one or no $$ for sitters so he'd be the one watching them) and I keep getting pushed back. In the summer he said I'd probably be starting in the spring. Here we are nearing the spring semester and it's "this isn't going to work yet". I want to do this before I lose my passion for it. As the time goes on I lose faith that I will be able to do well in the classes (I was more of a partier in high school and just did what needed to be done to scrape by).

Anyone else ever been in my shoes? Any advice?

Congrats to all of you who finished up your semester with awesome grades! I hope I'll be doing that soon!

I am a single mom, so I can understand where you are coming from in regards to your kids and daycare. I can't afford it, but my sister and I traded babysitting for a while when I couldn't afford daycare. I would work early hours in the morning when she would sleep (and my son), and be home in afternoons to watch her son in exchange. During this time I would work on any online classes I was enrolled in. My son is two, so not old enough to be in elementary school. I had planned on working on any and all applicable Pre-nursing online classes I could during this time until he enters school or find affordable daycare. I was extremely lucky in getting subsidized daycare this past year, so I can work and attend on-campus classes during normal hours. Perhaps you could either try online classes for a couple semesters or find subsidized daycare. Do you have any relatives that can take your children for 3-5 hours 2x a week to attend classes? Maybe do a mixture of online and on-campus to minimize your daycare needs. Just some options to consider.

Edited to add: Maybe (if all else fails) you could get a graveyard shift to pay for daycare needs. Maybe trade babysitting with a trusted friend? Maybe even check out your local church, etc. Lots of options out there!

Also wanted to add: I did my online classes with dial-up and Windows XP. Nothing fancy. If you go to your colleges website and check out the online classes, it is usually under a different section and there you will find the requirements you need. For instance my college is College of the Desert. The website is desertonline.net . I found it under the STUDENT section on the front page. You can probably do the same for your college. You can probably take classes such as Freshman Comp, Sociology, Intermediate Algebra, and upper courses such as Statistics. Those are some that are applicable to Pre-Nursing. Perhpas start with a councelor to help you so that you are informed and perhaps show your husband how much this means to you by doing all the research needed. Good Luck.

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I have to agree with everyone else here. Please don't take this the wrong way but he IS the dad. If he gets home at 5:30 then he should have time to unwind before you go to say a 7:00 class. How about Saturday classes? I have been a sahm for the last 6 years. I have 4 boys age 6, 4, 2 and 3 months. I started school part time last spring and will be going full time this spring. I will be gone for 5 hours 3 nights a week. Would my dh prefer me to be at home with him and the kids-yes. But that isn't an option. Going back to school is very important to me and he realizes that in order for me to finish I have to go full time. I didn't ask his permission. He already knew that it was going to happen. He also works 10-12 hour days and is tired at night. However I am not the only one who should have to make sacrifices. The first thing I would do is apply at the school you are wanting to attend and then fill out the FAFSA and find out how much financial aid you qualify for. I would take some initiative and show him how it will all work out.

Best of luck!

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Hello Swampcat,

I understand your husband's reluctance. Money and childcare are really important issues, is there a way you can get financial aid to help cover costs? Also where I live there was actually a childcare center on campus that was free to students. I couldn't use it because my son was already too old, but I know of some of my classmates who did use it. In addition I took prereqs at night, so maybe if you present him with a schedule he might see how it will work, you may only be able to take one prereq at a time, but at least you know you are working towards your goal. Don't be discouraged nursing is all about problem solving. Get the information on courses you need to take, what is the cost of tuition, books, parking and sit down and see if you can afford it. Best of luck to you.

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Hi swampcat,

I'm not sure how the student loans work with how many hours you are taking, but consider taking only one or two classes a semester to start.

I am a sahm and right now my kids are a bit older, but I started college in 2004 at the age of 45! Hadn't been to a college ever in my life.

I took two classes a semester and took summers off.

I can see your point that he doesn't want to mess with too much, so at the very least, change the bath time for the kids cause that one is definitely a hassle. The other stuff though, things could be set up so he can help with other things.

Online classes- I have taken many of my classes on line and when I started it was with a 4GB puter and windows 98 (don't laugh). Dial up too and it was fine. Might have to clean up yer puter a bit to make room for some programs but a lot of the programs are on the school websites.

It's 2007 now and in the spring I will be starting nursing...finally! I still have microbiology to take, but I slowly got the classes under my belt and finally feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Determination is a big factor! How determined YOU are to do this. I guess if there is a will, there is a way.

It isn't going to be easy, for sure, but well worth it if you take that first step. That is the hard part...taking the first step. The rest will fall in to place.

You know, hubby might be scared too.....but if you get him involved, he might just find a sense of satisfaction in really participating in the growing up of the kids!

No one likes change too much, but you both might end up finding this is good for both of you after you both get the hang of the change.

Good luck to you and know there are so many people in the forums that are rooting for you and will be here for you!!!!

Diana

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

Thanks all for your input. We had a talk last night and we got to see eachother's point of view. Looks like I'll start my classes in the fall (probably better for me as my nearly two-yr-old STILL does not sleep through the night). Then I'm going to take two classes/semester and hopefully will be in nursing school when my 2 yr old is in 1st grade (all day as opposed to half day pre-k & k, no worries about lack of family to help babysit or daycare). Still quite a ways off, but maybe this way I can get things like microbiology and all the other non-nursing-nursing courses out of the way and will be able to devote all my time and energy to the nursing classes and the clinicals.

Thanks again!

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watch how you take your science classes, at my school they expire in 5 years and you have to take them over.I would get the basics like english and math out of the way and then work on sciences.

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Specializes in Critical care, Pediatris & Geriatrics.

Good Luck Swampcat!!

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

Yeah, tonyal, the school I'm looking into has that, too. What would happen if your classes weren't over 5yrs old and you didn't get admitted? Next year it wouldn't be your fault that your classes are expired, they chose not to take you when they were valid. But I'm sure the schools wouldn't look at it that way.

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Specializes in ICU.

Just wanted to share my story with you.

I have long wanted to go back to school, but like you the daycare was an issue, the money was an issue and so on. Last summer I turned 37 and I have 3 children who are now 9,3, and 1. I have done NOTHING for myself in the last decade. I basically told everyone "I NEED to do this for ME" and asked them all for help and support. It turned out I qualified for financial aid and so school cost me NOTHING. I take classes both online and on campus both days and nights so that for some classes my parents keep the kids for an hour and a half twice a week and my husband is home for the night ones a couple nights a week. The rest I take online. (every program is different as far as requirements go but mine had a test to check to see if your computer met the requirements) I don't think the modem speed or connection type will matter much as it is just like posting to a message board for the most part.

Yes, my husband has had to pick up a bit of the slack and help out with some things but he already did help so it was just kicking it up a notch.

Sometimes we have to say HEY...I'm not just a wife, I'm not just a mom, I need things for ME also and I can honestly say I have not felt this good about myself in a long long time. I feel like a person again.

You will find a way to get it all done and as far as your husband goes, sometimes thinking about how something will be is worse than it actually turns out being and so I think as he starts doing it, he may actually find daddy alone time with kids to be a fun special time.

Good luck to you!

Kim

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Well said Kim!

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Specializes in ICU.

*sniff sniff*

my first "thanked" post...

*dries tear*

Thank you Nurse2be!

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LOL your welcome.

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