Difference Between a New Nurse and an Old Nurse

Nurses Humor

Published

The new nurse throws up when the patient does.

The experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up

The new nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

The experienced writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

The new nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

The experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

The new nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

The experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

The new nurse thinks people respect Nurses.

The experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

The new nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they can change it.

The experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anyone.

The new nurse works for a chance to work with the family

The experienced nurse tries to avoid the family

The new nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

The experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

What differences can you come up with ????????!

Specializes in Counseling Service, Children's Pastor.

:coollook: Funny!!!

A new nurse tries to impress the doctors.

The old nurse knows that the doctors are impressed by him/her.

The new nurse will work to prevent her patients from falling because she/he doesn't want them to be injured.

The old nurse doesn't want her patients to fall because she doesn't have the time to deal with it and doesn't want to do the paperwork.

Dutch

your so right. I think I take it alittle further though.

Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

A new nurse will ask what CYA means...

An old nurse lives, eats, and breathes by it 24/7!

A new nurse does their head to toe assessments starting at the actual head or toes...

An old nurse knows that all assessment criteria will be answered during a transfer to the commode!

A new nurse calls the morgue "morgue"

An old nurse calls it "transfered to the eternal care unit".

A new nurse is intimidated by calling MD's in the middle of the night.

An old nurse gathers her collgues, has all the numbers on speed dial and puts it on speaker phone for fun!

A new nurse tries to make friends with every one!

An old nurse knows to use that energy only to befriend the cafeteria cooks, pharmasists, and discharge planner!

A new nurse assesses lung sounds.

An old nurse judges lung sounds by how far they are heard in the hall!

A new nurse will check all tubes to find out why the IV machine is beeping.

An old nurse knows to turns it off...hit it a few times..and all is solved!

A new nurse still has her Nursing books handy at home.

An old nurse has already used them to makeshift a shelving unit in their home!

A new nurse must look in the MAR to find how much lasix a person is on.

An old nurse knows by how many bathroom trips they have had to assist!

A new nurse may be upset or intimidated by a screaming patient.

An old nurse knows the patient is conscious, has a pulse and BP, patient airway and can judge alertness by how many 4 letter words are put appropriately in a sentence!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! These are the jokes people...LOL!

Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

OH I forgot one..LOL!

A new nurse will actually administer a suppositiory for constipation.

An old nurse knows to place the suppository on the bedside table within site, with a tub of lube and gloves and all will work itself out in about 15 minutes!

Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.

guess I must be an old nurse.........

LOL

Karen

Specializes in psych -22 yrs, med-surg and a little OB.

Very, very funny - and often true!!! I will never forget when I was a brand new, fresh nurse and a more Experienced nurse told me "help when it helps - otherwise - let the patient help themselves!" Makes perfect sense to this day. If my patient is ambulatory and cognizant - they can certainly insert their own suppository!!! LOLOLOL

Thanks to everyone for sharing. I can't tell you how much ALL of you on all the boards have helped me. I'm no longer so angry and counting hours until retirement - you helped me feel not so alone our here.

Mahna 214

Thanks to everyone for sharing. I can't tell you how much ALL of you on all the boards have helped me. I'm no longer so angry and counting hours until retirement - you helped me feel not so alone our here.

Mahna 214

Oh, I'm glad!

Gee, one simple year in and I'm the old nurse....

Put the dr on speaker phone for fun LOVE IT!

Needed a great laugh, got to, thanks

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

A brand new nurse wants to sign EVERYTHING

An old nurse tries not to sign anything!

anyone remember the metal bedpans ? remember the bedpan sterilizer ? in the operating room ....we opened the window to let fresh air in (used a sticky spray for bugs)....cloth mask, cloth scrubs, suture (chromic) in glass breakable tubes..and the elevator with a man to run it....open and close its gate. we did not worry about lawsuits and every doctor smoked !!! the charge nurse was REALLY in charge and her word was respected. we signed in on one sheet of paper. everone word was trusted and no one lasted too long if suspicion was detected...they just did not return. no union, no rehab groups, no chances...just do your job as you took your original oath. those were great, back breaking days and someday the nurse of 2007 will say (do you remember) have a good day mary

anyone remember the metal bedpans ? remember the bedpan sterilizer ? in the operating room ....we opened the window to let fresh air in (used a sticky spray for bugs)....cloth mask, cloth scrubs, suture (chromic) in glass breakable tubes..and the elevator with a man to run it....open and close its gate. we did not worry about lawsuits and every doctor smoked !!! the charge nurse was REALLY in charge and her word was respected. we signed in on one sheet of paper. everone word was trusted and no one lasted too long if suspicion was detected...they just did not return. no union, no rehab groups, no chances...just do your job as you took your original oath. those were great, back breaking days and someday the nurse of 2007 will say (do you remember) have a good day mary

I remember those days, although not as a nurse.

:)

Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Girls you make my day! Thank you! Hugs! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

+ Add a Comment