Depression r/t nursing school AEB becoming someone I don't recognize

Jane says · Apr 12, 2012

Thanks for your reply. This post was the beginning of my being in a terrible place with school. I have 4 weeks left and 3 exams left in this semester. If I can make it through I'll be okay.

Thanks again

ChristinP · Apr 12, 2012

Many of my classmates felt the same during nursing school. Some used meds, some of us exercised on break or found something to keep our minds clear and free of the craziness.

I called it enviromental depression with situational bi-polar :)

It really helps to talk to someone and find out if you need further help, which means you need to fit that into your schedule too... I know, more stress and time. But, if it's needed to help then it is important because you are important.

Nursing school is very stressful, it doesn't last forever and lucky for you it's almost over. Please remember your first job is also likely to be tough and stressful so take care of yourself.

cna to crna2b · Apr 13, 2012

I think there is nothing wrong with admitting being depressed. I about the same spot in nursing school as you, halfway done with school. I was in the middle of my phyc rotation and found myself in the worst place in my life. Being flat broke and trying to support my wife and three kids. I had to have classmates and instructors help me to get help. After that I was able to get a grip on things and pull through. I would find help and get it if you find yourself needing it. Heck look at my avatar I advertise I am getting help. You will be the same person when you are done with school, just imagine the pride in a year when you walk across that stage. :w00t: Keep your head up.

arte_suave · Apr 13, 2012

School is depressing me. Most days I am not motivated, have a lack of interest in things that used to make me happy...blah blah blah...

You have already done one of the hardest parts of success, which is getting started. If want to be that professional nurse, you have to take that little decision you made and keep executing it to take it as far as your imagination holds. Believe me it's not talent or innate ability that makes you succeed, it simply comes down to how hungry are you? How hungry are you to improve? How big is your appetite for success? What are you willing to do to reach your dream of being a nurse? Because the really good professional RNs, they didn't care about the naysayers, or the fun they were forgoing, they didn't take days off, and they were 100% set in their ways in perfecting their craft because it was all for a much larger purpose than any semblance of happiness that immediate gratification provides. Remember during the depressive parts that reaching your goal is the real bliss!

To make it into being a professional nurse, I have learned you have to be willing to knock on the doors of complete exhaustion every single day. Now here's my opinion of exhaustion: That it you are so tired, frustrated, and pained that you can't even think straight. It is in reaching that point that you know, deep down, that you did everything you could do to be successful. That there wasn't one more thing you could have done to make anything better.

Sometimes you will feel terrible and depressed in nursing school but the more important question I always ask when I feel that way is, "Am I moving further or closer to my goals?" Am I at the door of exhaustion or am I merely uncomfortable? Because being uncomfortable is not exhaustion. Being uncomfortable is your mind quitting on your spirit. Being uncomfortable is just saying no to trying again after failure.

Remember it will always be easier to watch ER, Nurse Jackie, Grey's Anatomy than it is to be that actual person becoming a nurse. It's easier to hang with your friends, husband, kids, etc. than to spend all day in the library. It's easier to sleep in than to wake up at 4am for clinical. It's easier to go to a party or a family function than it is to sit with your study group working away. It's easier to work a full time job that you don't really like than to pursue your dreams. But it is also a lot easier to look back on life and know you gave it your all than it is to live with regrets. Not living up to your potential will weigh on your shoulders for a lifetime.

No one ever said being successful as nurse is easy but more have told me that it was worth it than not. Just remember you are you own maker in this world. I just tell myself that there is no such thing as failure. I just tell it no, not this time, not with me. I'm going to try again and again. I have no issue looking at these nursing school hurdles like depression, failure, and uncertainty in the face and telling them that I'm willing to go through it all and any other issue that gets thrown at me to reach my goal because I know without struggle there will never be any progress. It just comes down to how bad you want it. How bad do you want to be a nurse?

griffin10 · Feb 12, 2013

I feel you on this one. My life is about going to class, studying, and going to clinicals. I do hang out with my boyfriend, but we end up studying a lot together. I havent even told him that I have felt really depressed recently. Being in nursing school, I feel like a barely get to hang out with my friends and I have almost stopped going to club events I used to love going to. I thought I would make really good friends in my nursing class, but that has not really happened either. Being a nurse has been my dream for so long and now that I am in the midst of attaining it, I am realizing how much I missed my life before. Sorry for using this as my venting place! lol

Jennybrie · Feb 12, 2013

St. John's Wort works for me when the prescribed stuff didn't. I agree with the above posts that the stress and anxiety of nursing school pushes us to our limits. I didn't even want to admit that I was having the same symptoms as my patients but everyone is a psych patient whether or not they are labeled as such so that includes me too. I have no idea what you are going through but hang in there and persevere. In the end you'll be happy that you did.

R3rohrer · Apr 22, 2013

I haven't been on this site since I was accepted to the SFSU school in last May.

I am now completing my second semester of nursing school and have about a year until I finish. And I can say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. Some days I feel on top of the world and others I "mentally dropout". Some days like today I take a break from school to go to the movies and wind up breaking down crying about how I feel like a shell of the person I was in the beginning of this adventure.

I know to push through, it's always my nature, but damn do somedays I wanna take the next flight out to Costa Rica and say **** It!!!!! I don't know if nursing school is more educational or simply a way of beating you down to see what is remaining of you in the end. I feel completely bi-polar! Somedays I relate more with my advanced dementia patients than I do with fellow neighbors at the grocery store.

Consider my present state a hallow shell moving from place to place and assignment to assignment. Sprinkle in some careplans. Ohh yea and those exams with all those "NCLEX" style questions that really challenge my ego as to whether I actually am a smart person.

Beaten, rundown, and a crying mess. The feelings of nursing school that seems as though no one knows what your going through. As my boyfriend would like to call them, "they aren't sad tears, nor happy tears, their just tears that come out of no where!" We'll I'll tell you where they come they come from this dip pitted hole inside my soul that just locks away all the anguish experienced in nursing school.

And being this bipolar nursing student I'm sure tomorrow when I go to the hospital and help heal my patients I will be like, "I love nursing school!" Signing out Anxiety r/o nursing school AEB my teachers, homework, reading, careplans, exams, and NCLEX.

Signing out. R3

Red35 · Apr 22, 2013

Woo hoo!!! I'm not the only one that feels like a mess.....

The thing that helps is to do something everyday not related to studying..I try and exercise 4-5 times a week for at least an hour...

It's rough though....there are days when I think I should go back to my prior career as I'm more miserable in NS then ever....broke, no time, not knowing what the heck I'm doing...

And I'm only in the second week of the second semester (or 3rd quarter).

SubSippi · Apr 22, 2013

Nursing school doesn't last forever...here is a saying I live by:

"The big day always gets here."

It's true.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2013

I agree with everything everyone has said. It's hit me hardest this semester (spring semester of senior year). I went through all of nursing school happy and excited that I'd actually be able to get a JOB, as my first degree got me nothing, but now... I'm finding out that there are too many new graduate nurses and not enough positions in hospitals for them. I don't want to work in long term care, nursing homes, etc. I've been turned down from four hospitals so far, and I have a 3.86 GP and I'm graduating with my BSN next month. It doesn't help that I really want to work in critical care and nowhere else; critical care residencies are CRAZY competitive. My classmates are all landing jobs around me and no one's given me anything yet. I absolutely feel like just jumping off a cliff some days. I have another interview coming up May 1st (critical care residency!), but it's in a hospital that's a nine hour drive away and I really didn't want to move that far away from my family. My parents are older and my dad's had some strokes, HTN, bladder cancer, CAD... my mom's had breast cancer. I would feel like the worst person ever moving away from them while they're not well. Isn't this when children are supposed to be moving closer - when their parents need support? I'm only 17 days away from graduation and I just want to quit some days! I have six hospitals I haven't heard back from yet and four of them are within a four hour drive... hopefully I hear something back soon.

Tait, MSN, RN · Apr 22, 2013

How about a counselor?

gingah828 · May 17, 2013

This morning I typed in nursing school and depression and found this post. Thank you. I am struggling big time with this and today is my final exam in mental health. Well, I know what I don't want to be and that is a psych nurse. I was already depressed before this rotation and I am finding that I lack motivation and I really just want to quit at times. This post helped a lot. It is good to know that I am not alone.