I've had a history of getting let go from jobs, for reasons such as not getting up to speed fast enough, and not knowing certain protocols. I've also got a verbal warning from my first/PRN job for writing a note wrong during state inspection.
Because of these reasons, I have a deathly fear of getting in trouble/talked to, getting let go, warnings, etc.
I am currently in therapy, and take many psych meds to help with my depression, anxiety and ADHD. These things help, but once there is even a glimpse of the possibility of getting in trouble in any way, or even talked to, I completely lose it and spiral into anxiety attacks and panic attacks.
I started a new job two weeks ago, and it's been going very well. (Nursing Supervisor)
The other day, my DON asked me to meet with her, but she did not tell me why.
Because of this, I spiraled and was in agony the entire night, until I fell asleep. I saw her the next day, and she asked me if anything in my job is making me anxious. I said a little bit, and she took me and asked what was going on. I told her that the "meeting" she told me about made me anxious. She told me that it was simply to talk about my new roles on the 3-11 shift (this week I've been training on 7-3).
I felt so stupid after! But I still have a fear of getting in trouble, every time I see her or any of the "bosses".
Do you guys have any tips for this? I see my therapist again Friday, and will be bringing this up. I also plan on messaging my psychiatrist again to see if we need to increase my meds--I have clonidine and lorazepam for anxiety/panic attacks (Which the clonidine works well).
I wish I wasn't like this. I know it's common to have anxiety when these things happen, but it's debilitating at this point.
When I was younger I used to remind myself that I was actually an adult. That meant I gave no one the power to make me feel like a school girl.
If a supervisor had information for me, it was just that. Information. If she wanted to admonish me like an old hen, that was her. Maintain calm, steady eye contact when this is happening. You're just being respectful and attentive, but it can take the wind out of their sails.
Respond to all criticism by requesting more information. If the motive is constructive you'll learn what you need to know. If the motive is a power trip, you'll make it less fun for them.
If you're fighting the urge to cry, it helps to roll your eyes upward for a second.
You are a professional woman. Carry yourself as such and expect respect. Blessings.
Put on some lipstick and pull yourself together...
The other day, my DON asked me to meet with her, but she did not tell me why.
Because of this, I spiraled and was in agony the entire night, until I fell asleep. I saw her the next day, and she asked me if anything in my job is making me anxious. I said a little bit, and she took me and asked what was going on. I told her that the "meeting" she told me about made me anxious. She told me that it was simply to talk about my new roles on the 3-11 shift (this week I've been training on 7-3).
Is there any way to ask "when a meeting" is scheduled, the topic, agenda, etc of the meeting. You are not alone in this...we all dread the call when you hear "I need to meet with you". Of course they will usually say "we will talk about when you come".
You are so incredibly brave for being able to openly talk about your mental health and what you're going through. I wish you nothing but the best and my heart goes out to you! My piece of advice is that if you know you give it your 100% each day, it's OK to fall short sometimes in someone else's eyes. What matters is how YOU view yourself. Only concentrate on your locus of control, you can't prevent things from happening. Try to roll with it. Best wishes to you on your journey .
Specializes in LTC/Rehab, General Hospital Medical.
Thank you all so much. I think I've been handling it better lately. I know I can go to anyone with any questions or if I need help. I feel very safe in my new job.
I really appreciate all the wonderful comments and suggestions from all of you. ❤️
(PS- Once again, I'm a guy. ?No lipstick for me over here ?)
That would make anyone anxious and in fact may be an intentional tactic. I think over time getting "called on the carpet " will become more routine to you. All you can do is perform your job to the best of your ability, know your organization's policies and adhere to them and ask for advice from your supervisors.
I'm there with you with the same problems and diagnosis. I had several health issues in 2022 starting with aortic valve replacement surgery, small bowel obstruction a few months later, and then anaphylactic shock from yellow jackets stings a few months afterwards. I didn't know I was allergic. I received excellent care in the hospitals for each condition. However when I was going for the "post hospital visit" with my PCP after the anaphylaxis, it hit me how close I was to death. That did something to me psychologically but I didn't think too much about it. I have always struggled with micromanagement and criticism all along but have always been able to work through it. However when I received criticism on a new job with a agency that I had worked for in the past but was in a different office. I had trusted the employer since I had worked for the company before and appreciated the company's values which included honesty, integrity, and deep concern for employees health, safety and welfare. I was honest with my preceptor about my strengths and areas of limited experience (wound care and starting IVs). I felt betrayed. I held it together during the meeting but afterwards I lost it emotionally. I had nightmares, panic and even chest pains. I happened to have a physical the next day with my PCP. During the appointment the medical office assistant was new and her "preceptor" came into the room. I couldn't take her being in there emotionally. I walked the preceptor out of the exam room. She asked "are you putting me out". I told her, it isn't her but me. I just couldn't take it emotionally. The usual medical office assistant came in to help the new medical office assistant. She did an EKG as part of the physical which showed the same abnormal pattern as the EKGs showed when I had the small bowel obstruction and anaphylaxis. It's almost like PTSD symptoms but with my heart issues, I knew that job isn't worth it. I'm a retired counselor so am blessed to be receiving a pension but went into nursing as a second career. I have applied for SSDI, seeking help with my depression and anxiety and focusing on improving my health and healing emotionally. Sorry for my long reply but wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Specializes in LTC/Rehab, General Hospital Medical.
LindaGracie said:
I'm there with you with the same problems and diagnosis. I had several health issues in 2022 starting with aortic valve replacement surgery, small bowel obstruction a few months later, and then anaphylactic shock from yellow jackets stings a few months afterwards. I didn't know I was allergic. I received excellent care in the hospitals for each condition. However when I was going for the "post hospital visit" with my PCP after the anaphylaxis, it hit me how close I was to death. That did something to me psychologically but I didn't think too much about it. I have always struggled with micromanagement and criticism all along but have always been able to work through it. However when I received criticism on a new job with a agency that I had worked for in the past but was in a different office. I had trusted the employer since I had worked for the company before and appreciated the company's values which included honesty, integrity, and deep concern for employees health, safety and welfare. I was honest with my preceptor about my strengths and areas of limited experience (wound care and starting IVs). I felt betrayed. I held it together during the meeting but afterwards I lost it emotionally. I had nightmares, panic and even chest pains. I happened to have a physical the next day with my PCP. During the appointment the medical office assistant was new and her "preceptor" came into the room. I couldn't take her being in there emotionally. I walked the preceptor out of the exam room. She asked "are you putting me out". I told her, it isn't her but me. I just couldn't take it emotionally. The usual medical office assistant came in to help the new medical office assistant. She did an EKG as part of the physical which showed the same abnormal pattern as the EKGs showed when I had the small bowel obstruction and anaphylaxis. It's almost like PTSD symptoms but with my heart issues, I knew that job isn't worth it. I'm a retired counselor so am blessed to be receiving a pension but went into nursing as a second career. I have applied for SSDI, seeking help with my depression and anxiety and focusing on improving my health and healing emotionally. Sorry for my long reply but wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Oh my goodness. I had an aortic valve replacement surgery in 2021!! Who knew we were so similar.
It seems like you've roughed out your issues so far. It's so much to deal with. I'm so glad you got so far in your career and now you're looking into aid, which is wonderful. I wish you so much luck and hope you get what you need as well. ❤️
I've been doing okay. Just finished my last week of training and next week I will be on my own as a supervisor, for the first time in this facility. I know I can do it! I'm a little nervous but I can and will take everything as it comes and try not to get overwhelmed.
Oh my goodness. I had an aortic valve replacement surgery in 2021!! Who knew we were so similar.
It seems like you've roughed out your issues so far. It's so much to deal with. I'm so glad you got so far in your career and now you're looking into aid, which is wonderful. I wish you so much luck and hope you get what you need as well. ❤️
I've been doing okay. Just finished my last week of training and next week I will be on my own as a supervisor, for the first time in this facility. I know I can do it! I'm a little nervous but I can and will take everything as it comes and try not to get overwhelmed.
I'm so glad you are finishing up your training and will be working as a supervisor next week. I'm learning about mindfulness through a free program offered by my insurance BCBS. I just started the program this week. It's a 12 week program.
That's interesting you had aortic valve replacement surgery in 2021. I had a bicuspid aortic valve. Did you have a bicuspid aortic valve too? How are you doing physically? Does extreme stress/emotions trigger cardiac symptoms? That is the main reason I applied for SSDI, plus I'll be 62 in August so thinking I'll have a greater chance of being approved.
Specializes in LTC/Rehab, General Hospital Medical.
LindaGracie said:
I'm so glad you are finishing up your training and will be working as a supervisor next week. I'm learning about mindfulness through a free program offered by my insurance BCBS. I just started the program this week. It's a 12 week program.
That's interesting you had aortic valve replacement surgery in 2021. I had a bicuspid aortic valve. Did you have a bicuspid aortic valve too? How are you doing physically? Does extreme stress/emotions trigger cardiac symptoms? That is the main reason I applied for SSDI, plus I'll be 62 in August so thinking I'll have a greater chance of being approved.
Thank you so much! That sounds wonderful! I wish you luck with it.
I've only had aortic. I have found that stress and exhaustion at work does trigger cardiac symptoms, such as my heart rate going up.
A good manager will understand that frequent pulls into the office causes anyone anxiety and will try to limit them and do alternative ways to communicate such as huddles and texts/calls. From personal experience, a manager that seeks out to make you feel uncomfortable is a bully and frequently calling you into the office over the most petty issues is a micromanager as well. This is the kind of manager I would try to find out when they were leaving/quitting or I would find myself a way out of there.
LBushRN
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Put on some lipstick and pull yourself together...