Dear Nursing Instructor

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Dear Nursing Instructor,

I want to remind you that at some point in your life you were in my shoes. Remember your first day of class? You were nervous, scared, and maybe wondering "Am I really made for nursing?"

You were handed a syllabus, and quickly went to work planning your schedule for the days to come. The thought of all the chapters you need to read, and understand. "How am I going to process all of this," you thought?

Maybe nursing was a breeze for you. Maybe you failed out and had to give it another try. A year or two later there you are walking across the stage in your nursing uniform holding your candle in remembrance of the mother of nursing Florence Nightingale. Remember how excited you were to get pinned. Oh the tears of joys that you finally made it!

Years have now passed by, and you have decided to become a nurse educator. However you forgot some things. What it is like to be a student. Some students are new to the health field; others are here looking for a second career, or a better life for their family. We all come from different walks of life.

Yes we know and may have heard all the horror stories of nursing. Does nursing school really have to be a horror story? Do you have to yell at your new nursing students on the first day? Is it appropriate to tell your students your not cut out for this? Do you as an instructor have to meet a quota every semester on who you can weed out?

I am a student here to learn. Yes, sometimes some students make it all the way through there preq's thinking "I can fly straight through nursing with no problem." However, some of us are not like that. We want to learn! We want what you have: a state board license!

We have sacrificed our lives and loved ones just to make it to the end of the program. However, some of us don't make it through the first few semesters. As students we do take the blame for our faults and short comings. I know I do. However being manipulated, taunted, yelled at, curse at, and treated like a nobody is not what I signed up for.

Let me give you an example of what some instructors have done in my presence. I had a class mate whose period came on during our lab at the school. We are told that while we are in clinical lab we are not allowed to go to the bathroom, only when we are given break.

She fell ill and told the instructors what was going on. In her defense, she has periods that come when they want, 2 times a month maybe once every 3 months. Nevertheless, she informed said professors on what was going, and got permission to leave the class. She had a mess on her clothes which caused her to leave the class for a second time in 30 mins. She was withdrawn by the Dean because she should have had a Dr.'s note.

I had a similar situation. I heavy a menstruation (due to Essure) sometimes as well, and in my first semester I had an accident as well my clothes. I had to sit for 30 minutes thank goodness before I could leave. All because of that stupid rule. I was embarrassed some, but hey we're all nursing students right. Thank God I lived 5 mins away from school.

My point is: is it really that serious not to have your class interrupted because of an emergency? If that is not an excuse. Please be sympathetic towards your students if deemed necessary, ie. student who found out her father had a heart attack, and is at the hospital fighting for his life. You have now put this student in the position to choose her class time and not risk being dropped from her class, or her dying father. Did you have any unusual emergencies as a student?

As a student we are held responsible for actions. We look to you for guidance and a great learning experience. Why are you so mean? Do you have to eat your young?

Now, now, I'm going to get a lot of comments on how nursing is to be taken seriously. "We have patient lives in our hands". I get that. I have 7 years of healthcare background in a very busy trauma one hospital. I know how stressful nursing can get and how overworked some nurses are, but I'm talking about teaching here. Teaching does not have to be so cruel and intimidating. I'm not saying you have to hold our hands and talk softly, and give us a high five for remembering small or big details. Treat me like a student who wants to learn what you are willing to give.

I just want you ask my instructor, the one I look to for educational needs, to remember what it was like when you were in our shoes.

Respectfully Submitted,

Fearless_Leader

P.S. For the Instructors who do care for their students, and do want them to succeed, we appreciate all you do.

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Specializes in CVICU.

I read about horror stories concerning experiences with nursing instructors all the time on this site, so I count myself lucky that I have had wonderful nursing instructors all around. That's including going through OB/L&D with a female nursing instructor. Next semester will be my final semester of RN school and I have nothing but good things to say about all of my previous nursing instructors. I hope your future experiences are better than the ones you have already had.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

Dear Nursing Student,

Please accept my apology because your experience has not always been positive. However, please allow me the opportunity to explain to you why I make the decisions that I do. First, I would like to bring to your attention that I refuse to belittle you by yelling at you in class. That is unprofessional and, quite honestly, uncalled for and not my style. However, I must be honest when I say that I become quite frustrated when you do not follow my simple directions. Not doing so makes me question your ability to follow doctor’s orders and directions from your superiors. This is not personal. I would be doing you a great disservice and potentially exposing you to future lawsuits if it is not addressed. My short responses are not in any way a reflection of whether or not I like you. I am not paid to like you. I am paid to mold you into a safe practicing nurse; a privilege I take very seriously.

I remember when I was a nursing student. It was not long ago. You are correct that there is a lot of content (chapters) to cover. I want you to understand that I too am reading those chapters and making notes of important concepts to teach you during the next class session. But that’s not all I do. I spend a great deal of time at home creating learning activities to help make the concepts easier to understand. There are times when my partner is not happy with me because I spend so much time preparing for your class. As your nursing educator, I am required to ensure that you meet the learning outcomes for the course and to prepare you to be successful on NCLEX on your first attempt. Yes, there is a great deal of pressure to prepare for the NCLEX. However, I am under pressure too because your passing the exam is a direct reflection of my teaching. If you do not pass, I feel like a failure. I’ve let you down by not preparing you enough.

I know the rules are strict. Please keep in mind that rules are in place to set expectations. Without rules and expectations, there would be complete chaos. A chaotic environment is not conducive to learning. I feel badly because you and your friend experienced an unpleasant day in lab. However, if I make exceptions for you two, I must make exceptions for everyone. Regardless of the excuse, I would be required to allow other students to leave lab for any reason. This would cause a great deal of disruption. That would not be fair to those who are in lab trying to learn. And again, it would not be conducive to learning. So, to avoid all of that, I request that you go to the bathroom during break. If the rule is broken, there are consequences. This is not to be mean, but rather to be consistent in my expectations. I consider an emergency as you going into anaphylactic shock or having an acute MI. Everything else is relative.

You’re correct. As students, you are held accountable for your actions. This is not a new concept. Every person on earth is accountable for his action. If not, the world would be in chaos (Are you catching a trend here?). As your nurse educator, I provide guidance. However, I will not hold your hand. You must take the initiative. I am here for questions. But do not expect me to give you the answer. I will provide to you a path to the answer. We call this critical thinking in nursing. It is my hope that you do have a great learning experience. Remember though, I am a facilitator of information. How you receive the information and what you do with it will create your learning experience. Therefore, your learning experience is up to you, not me. I am not mean- I am stern with high expectations. I would be doing my profession a disservice if I was not. You made it into nursing school. The bar is set high. Now that you are a nursing student, it should not suggest that you should be able to slide right through. It’s challenging! I suspect many with more experience than I will tell you that yes, they must eat their young. However, I encourage you to look for other posts about “eating young.” I do not remember the author, but she did a wonderful job of explaining the concept. If I find it, I will post the link.

I will close this letter with a big thank-you for working towards joining the ranks. Although you may not see it now, a thick skin is needed. Patients, nurses, and techs will run over you if you do not have one. This is the time to develop it. Patients and staff will be rude. You can’t take it personally. If your instructor is rude, chalk it up as an additional learning objective: By the end of the nursing program, students will be able to accept constructive criticism no matter the method by which it is provided.

Good luck to you and take care!

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

Dear Fearless Leader:

Come back and follow up at the END of your nursing education and see if you can't enlighten us as to some of the reasons you think your instructors were like they are.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Uh...I can see having high academic standards and whatnot, but why in the world would anyone consider it reasonable to tell adults that they can only use the bathroom when the instructor says they can? Yes as RNs we have patients in our hands--I am a working ICU RN myself, and nobody tells you when you can or can not pee or change your pad! I am also a student in a BSN bridge program. Sorry...I thank you for caring about my education, but I'll be going when I need to, and I will hold myself responsible for any content missed during those two minutes I was gone. But as imperfect as my instructors are, I don't think any of them would dream of thinking that an adult needs their permission to go to the bathroom. That is honestly in my top five of ridiculous things I've ever heard of coming from a professor/instructor's mouth.

As a nurse, would you ever tell a patient that they can only use the bathroom at pre-set times designated by you? So why would an instructor tell this to adult learners who are paying them???? And give them the "choice" of being humiliated or suffer academic consequences? Penalizing them like a child who started a fight on the playground or cheated on the spelling test?? Really??

Again, I get the need for academic rigor. I get why they need to cover so much material and grill you at clinicals. I just can't get past this bathroom thing, and for me it calls all other credibility into question. It's ridiculous.

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@Bucky

I would like to enlighten you right now. I am mom of 4 children & pushing 40. I worked as a PCA for over 7 years. Under the supervision of many RN's. Floated to different areas of the hospital etc. I myself as a PCA has held my urine several times because of taking care of my patients and missed lunch and all types of things that go along with nursing. Therefore I have had my fair share of sacrificing for the sake of my patients.

Now yelling and humiliating for what reasons you deemed are necessary is unprofessional and rude. I am paying you teach me not belittle me. On my syllabus it did night say my objective for this term is to develop alligator skin! Therefore who knew I would be prey to some Professors what is the point of the meanness. Am I going through initiating for this career and don't know it? :jester:

The Professors who knew I had a medical background were still tough on me to the point to make my moral drop so low and I hated that school. In addition to making me feel like I'm going into a cardiac arrest because you decided your going to walk into the lab and scream to the top of your freaking lungs because of something you heard? Really.. I guess I have develop thick skin? I wish not to have alligator skin.

Your hard on me because You don't want me to mess up, pass the wrong med, think quickly on my feet, critically think when were having a code. Trust me I get all that. Yet I feel that I am here to learn more than being humiliated.

Bucky I'll take your advice, and I will return to answer you question in 2 years when I graduate. Maybe your right. Maybe I'm right. Time will tell. This isn't a war cry :arghh:. I just want instructors to remember when they were in our shoes.

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@ Here I Stand RN thanks for your input. :up:

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
The Professors who knew I had a medical background were still tough on me to the point to make my moral drop so low and I hated that school. In addition to making me feel like I'm going into a cardiac arrest because you decided your going to walk into the lab and scream to the top of your freaking lungs because of something you heard? Really.. I guess I have develop thick skin? I wish not to have alligator skin.

First, let me say that unless the instructor is yelling "Your patient just went into V fib" (or something else dire), there is no reason that a nursing instructor should yell at a student.

The tricky thing is, you have to develop a thick skin, while also knowing when to "take off" that skin. You have to be tough most of the time, yet have a softer side that comes out on the right occasion. It sounds like you have that softer side down, but still need some work on the thick skin--and no matter how often you say you don't want one, you will need that thick skin!

Finally, I do agree that the "no leaving lab period, even to use the bathroom" rule is a bit much. However, there will be many, many times when you are going to need to go (very badly!) and cannot D/T any number of factors of the job. But, I think you already knew that.

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Specializes in Med-Surg and Neuro.

There's a difference between being a strict teacher and being a bully teacher. Not everyone gets that. I was once a teacher. I never screamed at a student, and I certainly never told them when and if they could go to the bathroom. That's unacceptable. I don't care if dr's do it, we shouldn't lower ourselves to the low standards others may live by.

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

For the record, I am NOT a nursing instructor, not sure how I ever gave you the impression that I am. Directing your comments at me, in the manner you did, was pointless. Also, for the record, I too attended nursing school as a non-traditional student. I was 42 when I graduated, Mom of 4, one of them a nursing baby. I had been an EMT for 20 years at that point as well. Having a medical background of this level made little difference once I entered nursing school.

@Bucky

I would like to enlighten you right now. I am mom of 4 children & pushing 40. I worked as a PCA for over 7 years. Under the supervision of many RN's. Floated to different areas of the hospital etc. I myself as a PCA has held my urine several times because of taking care of my patients and missed lunch and all types of things that go along with nursing. Therefore I have had my fair share of sacrificing for the sake of my patients.

Now yelling and humiliating for what reasons you deemed are necessary is unprofessional and rude. I am paying you teach me not belittle me. On my syllabus it did night say my objective for this term is to develop alligator skin! Therefore who knew I would be prey to some Professors what is the point of the meanness. Am I going through initiating for this career and don't know it? :jester:

The Professors who knew I had a medical background were still tough on me to the point to make my moral drop so low and I hated that school. In addition to making me feel like I'm going into a cardiac arrest because you decided your going to walk into the lab and scream to the top of your freaking lungs because of something you heard? Really.. I guess I have develop thick skin? I wish not to have alligator skin.

Your hard on me because You don't want me to mess up, pass the wrong med, think quickly on my feet, critically think when were having a code. Trust me I get all that. Yet I feel that I am here to learn more than being humiliated.

Bucky I'll take your advice, and I will return to answer you question in 2 years when I graduate. Maybe your right. Maybe I'm right. Time will tell. This isn't a war cry :arghh:. I just want instructors to remember when they were in our shoes.

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"For the record, I am NOT a nursing instructor"

Sorry Bucky, if you are offended didn't mean to step on your toes or anyone else.

@Soaring Owl You are Right!!! I would prefer a strict teacher than a bully any day, and there is a difference. I have encountered more of the bully ones than the stricter ones. I went through a lot those type of instructors this year. I'm still managing to pull my boot straps up and I am moving forward. Sulking in pity is not my thing. This school was just not for made for me. I have found a new school with former classmates, and few co-workers that I will be joining. They are much happier at the new school by the way. I'm a leader not a follower just so happen a few students that moved on to another school landed there.

I respect everyone's opinion, and thank you all for your input rather I agreed with you or not.

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Wait a minute! Nursing instructors are humans to! :cool: We are all valuable. There should be mutual respect between the instructor and student regardless of gender, race, age, occupation, and level of education. There is no reason for you to endure verbal abuse. Only a narcissist or sadists would attempt to demean a student. People who have these disorders seek positions of power because it makes them feel good about themselves and they think it makes them look good; they think no one can see the ugly :blink: parts of their lives. It is not acceptable for a professor or instructor to make remarks such as, ":sneaky:You sure you want to be a nurse? Why? What don't you get?" When a person who is in a position of power incessantly asks you the same questions over and over again with a look of disgusts, they are sizing you up for destruction. They want to break your spirit. An instructor who wants the best for his or her student is firm and serious about his or her job; however, they asks about your passion for nursing to help you. A vampire will only ask about your dreams so they can take them away from you or to use you to make them feel as great as they wish they were; making you beg and plead for a job is what people with this disorder like. Unfortunately, there is no treatment for narcissism. They will see nothing wrong with what they are doing and will claim that they are seasoning you for the real world. They will make themselves out to be the victim and you will be the bad guy or girl. Of course you simply can't tell them to them to go away without getting kicked out or telling them "Mind your own dang business!:madface:" or ":nono:Leave me alone, you dang vulture!" Passing your courses is good but don't assume that good grades will keep them off of your back; it isn't going to teach them a lesson because they will take credit for your accomplishments. You have to be creative when it comes to dealing with these types of people, especially introverts. Narcissists LOVE to belittle quiet, introverts. Trust me. I know :sniff:.

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