Dealing with the loss of fellow nurse

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Jun 3, 2006

I work in a LTC and have been there many years. Thru the years, we had our very beloved maintenance man go home one night and die of a heart attack. We also lost a long term CNA to a brain hemorrhage while outside the building on her break. In both instances, we had a memorial service for each (invited residents, family members, etc to join in) and planted a tree out front for each. We've still got our big ole burly oak "Fred" tree and our spring flowering "Debbie" tree. It takes quite a bit of time to get over an unexpected shock like this. Just support each other as best you can. Take care

DorkyStudentNurse · Jun 3, 2006

I'm only a nursing student but I was in a similar situation this year. A good friend and fellow nursing student was killed in a car accident on March 2nd. It hit everyone really hard. We put up a poster with his photo and some cards in our faculty building and had a memorial service on campus. We had a talking circle with grief counselors just to talk about our memories and thoughts about his death. It really brought us closer together as a group to share our emotions like that. Maybe you could all get together to discuss it?

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss and I hope you can find peace in whatever you decide to do.

burn out · Jun 3, 2006

I worked with a BIG guy who was our monitor tech on the weekends and during the week he was an EMT. Tom and I worked alot together and he was like a big ole teddy bear. After coming off an abusive marriage Tom was such a wonderful person that he showed me that all men were not at all like the one I had married. Tom had had a hard life but had the most positive outlook and could make anyone feel good. He had just gotten married a month before when I saw him and i said that I couldn't hug a married man and he reached down and gave me big hug and said I could always get one from him. One saturday night Tom and his partner got a call for a possible MI across the county, they were headed down a foggy two lane highway when a tractor trailor truck pulled out in front of his ambulance and the rear ended it...Tom died instantly.

High on the top shelf in our kitchen was a mug with his initials on it that he had used..it stayed there for years. But the other day I had to go through the ambulance entrance in the ER and there was a plaque on the wall in

rememberance of Tom and I felt like he was with us again.

kaycee · Jun 4, 2006

We lost one of our nurses a few years ago. She was found dead in bed, was young and had no medical problems. It was quite a shock to all of us.

We collected money and gave some to her favorite charity in her name and with the other monies bought a beautiful picture of a lighthouse(the beach was her favorite place) with a in memory name plaque, and hung it in the ER. Every time we look at it we remember and she is with us everyday.

JR816, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2006

i'm only a nursing student but i was in a similar situation this year. a good friend and fellow nursing student was killed in a car accident on march 2nd. it hit everyone really hard. we put up a poster with his photo and some cards in our faculty building and had a memorial service on campus. we had a talking circle with grief counselors just to talk about our memories and thoughts about his death. it really brought us closer together as a group to share our emotions like that. maybe you could all get together to discuss it?
i'm really sorry to hear about your loss and i hope you can find peace in whatever you decide to do.

only a student nurse???? give yourself a little more credit dorky!!!! students nurses have feelings too. that is why we will make great nurses. :wink2:

i am sorry for your loss. the unexpected is always hard to cope with.

nursesarah · Jun 4, 2006

as a student, one of my colleagues was killed in a car accident. it was a shock to everyone bc she was well-known and well-liked. we had a memorial service for her. it was a very sad couple of weeks before school ended.

Trauma Columnist · Jun 4, 2006

Over the years, we have lost a flight pilot, an RN, a clerk and several spouses of our co-workers in our ER.

For the staff that we lost, we placed a plaque with their picture in our breakroom. When new employees come in and ask, we remember the funny stories and have great memories and this has helped us to heal.

I will say that we lost an RN last year to a drive-by shooting and his murderer has never been found. That was very, very hard. Because we are close to the police in our ER, we have lost two officers in the last three years due to on-the-job gunshot injuries - again very difficult.

Grief is something best handled as a group if possible. The Critical Incident Stress Debriefing is something that I have found helpful.

mom23RN · Jun 6, 2006

When I was still working we lost one of our beloved docs in a automobile crash. It was horrible as he was brought to our trauma center (and his wife) for treatment. He was already gone when he arrived. His wife survived.

It was so difficult. I wasn't on the night it happened but just knowing he was gone.

Sending lots of (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))).

Pediatric Critical Care Columnist · Jun 6, 2006

A couple of years ago a coworker of mine committed suicide. She and I had been quite invovled in a grievance she filed over our slightly over-the-top dress code, and I had no inkling that she was that depressed. Her husband is a nursing supervisor in our ER, and they used to "trade off" the kids between his night shifts and her day shifts. One night she took a bunch of pills and washed them down with a bottle of wine. She must have changed her mind because she called her husband and left a message that she needed him to come home early. He found her face down on the bathroom floor. Their six year old son was standing over her and he said, "I can't wake Mommy up. Why is she sleeping on the floor?" Her funeral was very well-attended; even our... umm... lovely DON was there. Her children were bereft; all of us could feel our hearts break for them. I later learned that she had a pattern of attempts similar to this one, but her husband had always gotten home "in time".

Earlier this year one of our coworkers died of metastatic breast CA. She had been living with it for about four years at the time of her death and had only returned from a long-anticipated trip to Mexico with her son (that we had all chipped in for) a week before. I wasn't close to this lovely lady, so I worked the day of her funeral so others could attend.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

We had a suicide of a very popular nurse and and coworker in her 20s drop dead of a heart attack. It devasted the unit tremendously, including the manager who still has their pictures in her office a few years later.

I don't really have any advice to offer. Time marches on.

We did hold memorials in our hospital chapels, and a little memorial with their pictures hung on the unit for a month or so. Tme passes and wounds heal.

vamedic4, EMT-P · Jun 10, 2006

Brokenheart...my heart goes out to you. I lost 2 members of my hospital "family" last year. I am very sorry for your loss. It helps me just to remember the people that they were..that they loved to laugh..and had a good time while we were all here together. I felt blessed to be a part of their lives, and to have them a part of mine.

Have a good day.

vamedic4

At Parkland Memorial they put up an In Memorial plaque that is quite tastefully done, no matter whether you're an RN or a housekeeper. Too bad they don't do that here. You might want to consult the family too.