Hello all,
I've been a Med-Surg nurse for about a year and a half. Several months ago, I had a patient who was talking to me and seemed very normal. Nothing clued me that she would end up passing away that night. She did have some serious issues, with her heart (EF was very low), she was Oxygen dependent, etc. Later on in the night, after I came out of my other patient's room I heard the intercom for Code Blue. Took me a second to realize it was my patient. I rushed in there, and I see my Charge Nurse doing compressions on her. I couldn't believe this was happening. Before I could get more hands-on and help, I decided to grab my WOW while my Charge and another coworker were doing compressions and breaths. I decided to do this to get more accurate information on the patient because at this point, I didn't want to rely on my notes or memory for more info about the patient.
RRT arrived with the MD, and they asked me about her previous medical history, which I told them according to my papers. I just felt so useless at the time. I was even asked at one point what her K+ was, which I didn't write down (b/c it was normal)... Later on, I was asked if the pt had a pacemaker, which I remembered reading somewhere, but I couldn't remember exactly. I did find it in the notes though and let the team know.
To sum it all up, I thought I was able to move past this situation because even my Charge was telling me that she was quite sick, and there was nothing else I could have done that could have prevented that... And I tried to make peace with that, but at times, I would think about all the little things that I could have/should have done... Like today during my BLS, they were talking about using the CPR board, and I don't even remember if we did this during the Code... and how I could have offered more info when the doctor asked, and how I should have known right away that she had a pacemaker... Have been contemplating talking to this Charge about it, but I actually switched jobs, and I think bringing this up again to her might be a bit much...
I realize that death is something that we will encounter as nurses and that it is inevitable, but how do you guys cope with it when it happens to your patient? How do you deal with the guilt?
Thank you to all offering any insight.