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I've been an RN for about 2 years now, and I've realized that the hardest part of the profession is not being yelled at by other patients or being pulled in many directions, but it is having to cope with the possibility of making a mistake. Although I tell myself that I am only human, and I am imperfect, it still brings me a lot of fear to know that I could hurt a patient. When I was a Med-Surg nurse, I had a patient who's labs were abnormal and gave me reason to call the MD to start the sepsis protocol. Part of the protocol was to infuse a 2 L bolus, which I did. I later realized, after a chest X-ray was done, that he also had CHF. Something I was told, but totally forgot. Immediately the RN breaking me stopped the fluid bolus (800 cc was infused), and the pt was given Lasix as ordered. My heart sunk... It's one of the worst feelings when you've realized you've made a mistake. Fortunately, the pt was fine. He was also getting Lasix PO in the day because his legs were also very edematous. Nothing happened after the 5 nights I took care of him luckily, but I do think about it sometimes and feel regretful still. Sometimes, I wonder how the patient is doing. I feel like I've coped with this incident, but I still think about it sometimes as a haunting memory. I wanted to share this not only for therapeutic reasons, but also because it might help someone else. We are stronger nurses after making a mistake, and the most important thing we can do after it happens is to learn from it.

To gain feedback from people who actually understand what I'm going through. And to learn from others' stories that may help me in the future. It really is a form of therapy. To voice our feelings, to feel heard and understood. :)

Wow, thank you all for your comments. I'm so touched by your words of kindness. Sadly, we did not have a debriefing after the code, but now I'm realizing that we should have had one. Not only to discuss what we could have done better but for our own closure. I'm hoping that this will get better with time, but I've been learning how hard it is for myself when I make a mistake (referring to other incidents), and dealing with the fear of potentially really hurting a patient. I wish I could just let it go, but it's been something really difficult for me to do and I'm really trying to cope with it in a healthy way. Thank you guys for your responses because it honestly has offered me some comfort. :)

Hello all, I've been a Med-Surg nurse for about a year and a half. Several months ago, I had a patient who was talking to me and seemed very normal. Nothing clued me that she would end up passing away that night. She did have some serious issues, with her heart (EF was very low), she was Oxygen dependent, etc. Later on in the night, after I came out of my other patient's room I heard the intercom for Code Blue. Took me a second to realize it was my patient. I rushed in there, and I see my Charge Nurse doing compressions on her. I couldn't believe this was happening. Before I could get more hands-on and help, I decided to grab my WOW while my Charge and another coworker were doing compressions and breaths. I decided to do this to get more accurate information on the patient because at this point, I didn't want to rely on my notes or memory for more info about the patient. RRT arrived with the MD, and they asked me about her previous medical history, which I told them according to my papers. I just felt so useless at the time. I was even asked at one point what her K+ was, which I didn't write down (b/c it was normal)... Later on, I was asked if the pt had a pacemaker, which I remembered reading somewhere, but I couldn't remember exactly. I did find it in the notes though and let the team know. To sum it all up, I thought I was able to move past this situation because even my Charge was telling me that she was quite sick, and there was nothing else I could have done that could have prevented that... And I tried to make peace with that, but at times, I would think about all the little things that I could have/should have done... Like today during my BLS, they were talking about using the CPR board, and I don't even remember if we did this during the Code... and how I could have offered more info when the doctor asked, and how I should have known right away that she had a pacemaker... Have been contemplating talking to this Charge about it, but I actually switched jobs, and I think bringing this up again to her might be a bit much... I realize that death is something that we will encounter as nurses and that it is inevitable, but how do you guys cope with it when it happens to your patient? How do you deal with the guilt? Thank you to all offering any insight.