Dealing with family

[rn undisclosed name]

How do you deal with family?

I generally don't mind them and tell them what "I" can. I ask the patient if it is ok to talk with their family unless they have dementia. I don't tell test results unless they have a CXR and it showed nothing otherwise I tell them they need to speak with the doctor and I can leave a note on the front of the chart for the doctor with their contact information.

Some families can be overbearing. I worked Tuesday and Wednesday. Had the same patients both days. On Tuesday I received no less than 10 calls inquiring about the same patient. I am sorry this patient has 4 living daughters and 1 son but there has to be ONE person that is the main contact who is calling to see how the patient is doing. A couple of the calls I never got to take. Near the end of the day I was talking to one of the daughters and told her I was receiving an excessive amount of phone calls and there needed to be one point of contact. Of course she said she would be the point of contact. The second day I had talked to the main daughter which I had no problem with. Then I received a call from one of the granddaughters. The secretary told her I was extremely busy and wouldn't be able to give her any information but she still wanted to speak with me. I got on the phone and told her that she was resting and doing fine but I couldn't give any further informaion and she would need to speak with her aunt since that is my point of contact. She hung up on me which I didn't care about. She came up to the hospital later and told me it was unprofessional how I handled it and she has a right to know what is going on with her grandmother - blah, blah, blah. I explained I can't give information out for privacy reasons (she says there is no privacy). I stated it is hospital policy and I spoke with her aunt and she is the main point of contact and can get her info from her. She was arguing with me that she is not able to just be by the phone. I stated that this was a family issue and we would not be able to speak with everyone who called and it was excessive.

The way I see it is that when I keep getting interrupted this is taking away from the care I am providing. It is extremely busy and I have to go off the floor with certain patients for tests, perform procedures, pass meds, do assessments, etc.

Also one of the patients other daughters was there earlier and I explained the situation with this granddaughter and she agreed with me. She immediately knew which granddaughter it was and just rolled her eyes at me.

Just looking for some feedback on how you deal with family.

Kelly

[TazziRN, RN]

You did just fine!!! I do what you did.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I had one memorable experience in which the family would bombard me with questions, suggestions, and comments to such an extent that I finally said, "You do realize, don't you, that in the past hour that we've been chatting, your mother has not gotten any care? So I have ten minutes. I can either give her pills and change her, or talk to you. What do you prefer?"

After that, they pretty much calmed down and didn't take up all of my time.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i think you did just fine. the only thing i'd add is that if the gd was particularly pissy, you might just email your manager a heads up so if she complains, your manager has already heard about it from you. some managers will defend you, and others will hang you out to dry. but there really isn't anything much you could have done differently.

[miko014]

I guess she has never read any of the pamphlets they have given her at at her Drs offices about HIPAA. If she had continued to argue with me, I would have said, "it's more than just hospital poilcy, HIPAA is the law, sweetcakes. I cannot give any of my pts the care they need if you are taking up all of my time trying to talk to me about your grandmother, when I can't give you any information anyway. I suggest you speak with your aunt. If you'd like to speak to my charge nurse about this, she's right over there, but she can't give you any info either."

Most of the time I have no problems with families. Other times, ummm yeah. I do.

[rn undisclosed name]

i think you did just fine. the only thing i'd add is that if the gd was particularly pissy, you might just email your manager a heads up so if she complains, your manager has already heard about it from you. some managers will defend you, and others will hang you out to dry. but there really isn't anything much you could have done differently.

i did. i actually had my evaluation the same day and i received good marks for customer service. so i said to her that might change and i explained the situation to her. i've never had any issues previously and i believe she would defend me. i've never heard anyone say anything negative about her and she is so accomodating to everyone when she can be.

[RNSacht]

Hey Kell, how are you, I was surfin allnurses and saw your thread. Just thought I would input as well. I am usually VERY, VERY firm and say exactly what you did. Finally if calls keep coming in I just dont answer my pager, Okay maybe this is not very professional, however, I am there to provide PATIENT care and this is our priority as nurses. I know dealing with family is part of that, but my concern is MY patient, I often will say, Oh your mother, aunt, sister, etc is alert and oriented, here I will transfer you into your room and SHE can tell you how SHE is doing after doing this a few times, they usually get the idea that Im not a nurse who will talk all day on the phone. I am learning very, very fast, not to let these freakin families make me insane:chair: :imbar :banghead: :selfbonk: :selfbonk:

You handled it exactly how everyone of us would on allnurses, sometimes we just cant make families happy NO matter what we do or say, I often will come in the room with DR. phone numbers for THEM to call and even that doesnt work. Just put it behind you and continue being a great nurse.

Email me, I have made a decision and bid on a new job!!!!!!!!

Good Luck

Rachel

[SCRN1]

I also think you handled it well.

My first question to family members calling is "do you have the HIPPA passcode?" If they say no, then I tell them I'm not obliged to give out any information. If they have it, I give them the bare info.

[Sue Damonas, BSN]

I once had someone call in stating she was the pt's daughter calling from out of state and that she was a nurse and wanted me to tell her the results of her dad's cardiac cath. She became very irate when I wouldn't give her any info and said that they always give out information at their hospital. I told her that if she really was a nurse then she should be familiar with HIPPA:nono: . She became even more irate but I held my ground.

[MedSurgeNewbie]

I had a very involved out of state family, I got them all to agree that I would call "kidlette 1" and give her updates at the end of my shift (she was POA) and they could call her - it worked - I have used the family spokeperson model seems to have worked -but I am still very new

[TrudyRN]

I do exactly what you did - nicely, of course, but firmly.

If I am on the phone, I'm not at the bedside.

Between HIPAA and lots of patients, no secretary, etc., there is no time to take so many family calls. I always get the family to work out who is going to be the contact person and then that person either calls me or I call her once during the shift for an update. I do try to be meaningful "Her lab tests look better, she's more alert, she got tired after PT today and napped a couple of hours", but still secretive. If the doc was in, I tell them. Then they try to call the doctor, LOL, and I can go back to the pts.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i had a very involved out of state family, i got them all to agree that i would call "kidlette 1" and give her updates at the end of my shift (she was poa) and they could call her - it worked - i have used the family spokeperson model seems to have worked -but i am still very new

your plan works great with reasonable families. unfortunately, not all families are reasonable!