Dating/Military marriage

beachbum3 · Sep 26, 2008

my SO who was in the military for 8 years says that if you were dating before you joined then its fine, as long as you aren't in the same squadron. But if you'd started dating after you became an officer its a no-no.

SakuraYumi · Sep 26, 2008

No we're been dating for quite a while now. Im just afraid that after I join I might become an officer and he'll still be enlisted. still ok?

tri-rn · Sep 27, 2008

I was Navy, not Air Force. In the Navy it would have been fraternization (IOW, a big NO-NO) unless you were actually married before you became officer and enlisted.

It's usually no big deal if 2 enlisted people date, unless they work together or unless there is a huge gap in thier ranks (ie E-3 dating E-7, something like that). Then it's generally at least frowned upon, if not outright forbidden.

Again, I was Navy. The Air Force may do things differently.

core0 · Sep 27, 2008

Does anyone know if a Officer whos a Nurse in the Air Force can still date an enlisted person whos also in the Air Force? Or an enlisted nurse dating another enlisted? What about marriage? I've heard you have to get married before you join or else you cant be together but others are telling me you can..does anyone know FOR SURE??
Im not in the Air Force yet. Im still in high school getting my CNA but my boyfriend is an AIC Avionics Mechanic in the Air Force, and hopefully I will be joining this next year,so any info is helpful! I appreciate it! I really would like to know before i go and they say we can't be together!

Here is an article on Fraternization in the Air Force.

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/airforce/a/fraternization.htm

The part you are looking at is on page 3. If you are married when you get commissioned, then its no problem. If you are not married then it depends on the command. By strict reading of the reg this would be considered fraternization. Some commands treat living together as married and the rules above apply. Some apply the rule strictly.

David Carpenter, PA-C

core0 · Sep 27, 2008

I was Navy, not Air Force. In the Navy it would have been fraternization (IOW, a big NO-NO) unless you were actually married before you became officer and enlisted.
It's usually no big deal if 2 enlisted people date, unless they work together or unless there is a huge gap in thier ranks (ie E-3 dating E-7, something like that). Then it's generally at least frowned upon, if not outright forbidden.
Again, I was Navy. The Air Force may do things differently.

The Navy was the only service that specifically prohibited dating between NCOs and other enlisted. When I was in the Army it would have been OK to date officers in another specialty and enlisted (as long as they weren't in the chain of command. Nowadays its more controlled.

David Carpenter, PA-C

SakuraYumi · Sep 27, 2008

From what I read in that article, (thank you for that by the way!), it still is looked down upon. I don't necissarily want to get married that soon but I want us both to be able to be in the Air Force and be together. But dating is restricted..how do i work around that?!

Cherry2000 · Sep 27, 2008

Just be aware now that if you go in and are still dating, the military is under no obligation to keep the two of you together. Unfortunately you could be stationed across the world from each other. If you are married, they will try to keep you together. But please don't get married just because of this. I had a cousin that did this, (to stay with him, not a fraternization thing) and it just didn't work out. You could talk to a recruiter about this too.

fiveofpeep · Sep 27, 2008

my bf was in the airforce and I just asked him and he said its fine :)

tri-rn · Sep 27, 2008

The Navy was the only service that specifically prohibited dating between NCOs and other enlisted. When I was in the Army it would have been OK to date officers in another specialty and enlisted (as long as they weren't in the chain of command. Nowadays its more controlled.
David Carpenter, PA-C

That's interesting...and kind of ironic. When my current husband and I met, I was an E-5 and he had just made E-7 (an NCO, I guess, in my experience we didn't use that term much...to us it was "khakis" and "blueshirts".) Anyway, he waited until he saw in the base paper that I made E-6 before asking me out...still not an "NCO" but less frowned upon (and we were in completely separate commands).

Too funny :jester:

core0 · Sep 27, 2008

That's interesting...and kind of ironic. When my current husband and I met, I was an E-5 and he had just made E-7 (an NCO, I guess, in my experience we didn't use that term much...to us it was "khakis" and "blueshirts".) Anyway, he waited until he saw in the base paper that I made E-6 before asking me out...still not an "NCO" but less frowned upon (and we were in completely separate commands).
Too funny

Actually an E5 is an NCO in the Navy as is an E4. In the Army they make the distinction between a specialist (E4) which is not an NCO and a Corporal (E4) which is an NCO. This is dependent on the position and probably the reason why the Army doesn't prohibit NCOs for dating junior enlisted.

David Carpenter, PA-C

LisaDNP · Sep 28, 2008

Well, its good to plan ahead but you're thinking YEARS ahead!

If you go into the Air Force after high school, you will be enlisted as is your boyfriend, CNA or not. There should be no problem with your dating but as one poster said, the AF has no obligation to station you in the same place.

Being an RN (officer) in the AF requires a BSN, so thats at least 4+ years down the road.