Cussing Co-Workers

MsBruiser · Jun 12, 2006

Also, just because someone is a little potty mouthed doesn't mean they are a bad person or a bad nurse. Let me tell you, I have had some co-workers who may have been a bit "rough around the edges" but they were kind and caring to their patients and fellow employees. Then I had the manager who wore a WWJD lanyard around her neck but she was intolerant(particularly to those who didn't share her views on religion 100%), nasty and an accomplished liar.:angryfire As long as the patients can't hear it, it doesn't bother me...I'm a big girl, I can take it!

I'd second that...

allnurses Guide · Jun 12, 2006

To the OP, you said you have been a nurse 20-plus years and are returning after a bit of an absense. You said you are looking for a mentor like you had once. You don't need a mentor; how about acting like a mentor yourself? Also statements like "I am a god-fearing woman" and "I have the spirit of the living God in me" could create the appearance that you feel superior and set apart from others, trying to live in some sort of sanitized la-la land. Note, I am not saying this to be true, I have no idea. I'm just saying this is how it appears.
You are new on the job. I'd pick your battles carefully. Especially if you are working in ER like another poster said? Are you? I've worked in ER's and they do tend to be not for the meek or delicate.

I agree that making statements about faith (or anything) like the above quotes does make you look like you feel superior. You may not mean that but the perception is there. So I would not bring that up.

Simply focus on the unprofessionalism of swearing.

I would like to say I work in the ER and do not agree that people who don't swear are meek or delicate and not cut out for the ER. Swearing does not make you a better ER nurse. Not swearing doesn't make you a better ER nurse. Swearing just makes you appear unprofessional.

I simply think it sounds vulgar and rude and unprofessional. I do realize we all slip, including myself (not in front of patients though). But the people who pepper their sentences with profanity need to stop.

Saying "S*%T" when you drop a pill in the med room is completely different that using profanity in general conversation "Did you watch f-ing American Idol last f-ing night? That f-ing Taylor won, isn't that f-ing great!".

steph;)

JVanRN · Jun 12, 2006

Cussing is the offense. Simply stating "i'm offended by it" with no reason given would be way more productive than someone saying "because i'm God-fearing" as their reason to be offended.

I'll just toss in my lame "I agree" here. I personally would ignore it if it's not directed at me, but cussing is unprofessional and offensive to some and shouldn't have to be tolerated in the workplace. You can try a lighthearted approach and if that doesn't work just tell the person it offends you. Chances are they may make an effort to stop when they are around you. But if you bring religion into it ("Cussing offends me because I'm Christian" line of thinking) that is guaranteed to put people on the offense. Because it does come across as moral superiority. To me it would be just as offensive if someone said "I don't cuss/I'm offended because I'm an intelligent educated person" It's entirely understandable that one may find cussing offensive, you shouldn't have to justify why it is offensive to you.

I guess it would just depend on how the words are used (if someone was cussing AT me, or cussing in front of patients) if I spoke up or not. I would say at NO time should you have to just put up with co-workers or doctors being verbally abusive towards you, new or not. But if people are exchanging words in a conversation you are not a part of, you might want to think about it before jumping on that. You need to pick your battles wisely.

MsBruiser · Jun 12, 2006

I definitely agree with the previous two posters. References to Christianity and/or one's religious lifestyle in a work environment are very offensive to me - just as offensive as say "cursing."

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2006

I would like to say I work in the ER and do not agree that people who don't swear are meek or delicate and not cut out for the ER. Swearing does not make you a better ER nurse. Not swearing doesn't make you a better ER nurse. Swearing just makes you appear unprofessional.
I simply think it sounds vulgar and rude and unprofessional. I do realize we all slip, including myself (not in front of patients though). But the people who pepper their sentences with profanity need to stop.

Stevie,

I didn't say that someone is meek or delicate if they don't swear. I don't swear! I don't consider myself meek or delicate at all. That's not what I was saying. I was saying that if someone is ultra-sensitive or meek, then ER might not be the best fit for them. Furry made a statement in a previous post - something like she doesn't want to get desensitized by being exposed to worldly environments. Swearing is unprofessional...but many ERs are fast and rough places moreso than say...hospice...or a nice med-surg floor. Only fur knows the degree of her discomfort and what is best for her in the end.

allnurses Guide · Jun 12, 2006

Stevie,
I didn't say that someone is meek or delicate if they don't swear. I don't swear! I don't consider myself meek or delicate at all. That's not what I was saying. I was saying that if someone is ultra-sensitive or meek, then ER might not be the best fit for them. Furry made a statement in a previous post - something like she doesn't want to get desensitized by being exposed to worldly environments. Swearing is unprofessional...but many ERs are fast and rough places moreso than say...hospice...or a nice med-surg floor. Only fur knows the degree of her discomfort and what is best for her in the end.

Hi. :)

I took her comment about becoming desensitized in a different way - like when you start hanging around folks who swear it is easy to slip into that too. That doesn't make Furry "ultra-senstive and meek" - just concerned that she be aware of herself. Yes, the ER can be a rough and tumble place and we can become immune to things - lose our sensitivity towards drug addicts for an example.

One of the issues we tackled in nursing school was this "desensitization" or the tendency to get jaded or hard or not emphathetic and to do things that would either help ward that off or to have a way to regroup.

I know when I visit my maternal family members, all of whom are from the South and have thick accents, I come away talking with a slight accent and using the words they use. Sometimes I don't notice and sometimes I do it on purpose of course.

I completely agree that appearing morally superior or intellectually superior is grating on other folks and puts them on the defensive and never works very well.

steph

Furoffire · Jun 15, 2006

Okay, here comes the black ink. I have made comments on why I kind of get that shrill in me when other nurses cuss but I do not go around saying "the Spirit of the Living God resides in me etc." I was just trying to explain how I personaly feel inside, I am quite accepting and well liked, I don't go around thumping heads with the Bible. No one comes to the Son unless the Father draws them, what can I do? I am myself and I think my gift is a seed planter. Anyway back to the cussing, I can't say I like hearing the words but I accept it and that's it. Fluff Ball

smilin_gp · Jun 15, 2006

Fur of Fire, I just have to say that you have handled everyone's opinion on here with a lot of grace- even when those opinions don't exactly agree with your original post (mine included). I think that says something very positive about you as a person where you can stand by your opinions, but not slam down those of people disagreeing with you. That sort of attitude may do wonders for bringing up the professionalism of those that you work with!!

Though I am still rather unfazed by people cussing around me outside of patient hearing range, I just want to let you know that I respect how you have handled responses in this thread!

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 15, 2006

Fur of Fire, I just have to say that you have handled everyone's opinion on here with a lot of grace- even when those opinions don't exactly agree with your original post (mine included). I think that says something very positive about you as a person where you can stand by your opinions, but not slam down those of people disagreeing with you. That sort of attitude may do wonders for bringing up the professionalism of those that you work with!!

I agree.

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jun 15, 2006

Don't have much to add other than my initial comments....

.... but I like seeing such productive threads in our forums :)

ljds · Jun 15, 2006

I can swear quite a bit, sometimes, especially if the g-word is off limits. And I am well educated, thank you! I have a fairly extensive vocabulary in a couple of languages; but sometimes the f-bomb is the word that best defines what I want to express.

I tone it down at work, but sometimes something slips out, or something I never though in a million years would offend someone ends up being offensive. My swear word of choice are shite, frack, and mensch. But sometimes their american equivalents slip out. If I ever said "S*&T" and someone said to me, "I think you mean 'sugar'" I would probably respond, "Uh, no, I said 's*&t' and I meant it!". If you don't like it, be direct. If someone said to me, "Such language bothers me." or "Could you please tone it down for me?" I would in a heartbeat. But passive agressive crap doesn't do it for me. If I suspect something is offensive to someone, like if someone has a bunch of religious paraphenalia on their locker, I am not going to use the g-word around them. I'm more reserved around patients and do not swear, or verbalize ANYTHING controversial (religion, politics, sports, etc) with them or their families. At the nurses station in the middle of the noc, it may be a different matter.

I grew up in a house where words like darn, jeez, dang, golly, crap, and shoot were considered foul and off limits. As foul as the f-bomb or the g-word, since, for example, the word "jeez" derives from the word Jesus and is therefore taking the name of Jesus in vain. So whenever someone says that swearing is offensive and is not to be tolerated, I wonder which words they mean? Just the f-bomb? Or the christian sensitivity of the g-word? Or my mother's definitions? Any "softer" words like fudge, sugar, etc, since their INTENT is to swear, to someone with my mother's sensibilities, it's the same as if you just went ahead and uttered f(*& or s*&t.

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jun 15, 2006

thread has run it's course.

brian, the bb owner take on issue:

terms of service - all users please read and follow

foul language
contrary to popular belief, this is not a public board. you are all guests here. we have the right to edit posts that violate our forum guidelines or remove members at any time. nothing should ever be posted here that you would not say in front of a crowd of strangers. don't post anything distasteful or anything you feel might offend someone else. pg-13 type language in all forums, including off -topic.
as many of you know, in addition to the discussions we have for our own benefit, we also present a showcase to the lurkers and fence-sitters (and we do have one lurker per three to four registered users). we do have a word filter which will catch a few foul terms, but it is not the solution nor should it be the solution.
using faintly disguised obscenities with creative or phonetic spelling basically shows disrespect for your hosts. we are here voluntarily, including the moderators and the forum admins, because we are trying to maintain a forum worthy of the tradition started on allnurses.com. please show your appreciation for the venue we provide.
if it is not deliberate disrespect for the others, then it could be the inability to express a thought without spicing it indiscriminantly with foul language. while strong words have their place and time, a public forum in which polite conduct has been requested is not the time or the place for them.