Cussing Co-Workers

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 11, 2006

I am famous for slipping with the curse words myself. I have worked in a hospital setting for many years, and just became a nurse Monday. I, and many other people have seen and heard things that have shocked and amazed us so much, that a curse slips out before we even realize it. And, if things are bad enough, a few choice words can be therapeutic considering the alternative; which usually is placing someone's neck in a noose. We should make an effort in learning how not to be offensive when speaking around collagues, because this is not a social setting or a temple. Being the new kid on the block can be very challenging, and unfortunately, at times, you may have to become allies with others in order to learn the ropes. That can only be done by silent observation. If you can't stand the heat, you can leave the kitchen, but, the grass may not be greener on the other side. It may be that the cursing employees may be better than the subtle ones that are REALLY dangerous...

There are three things you dont talk about in polite company: politics, RELIGION, and money. That takes care of that issue.
As far as foul language, my oldest brother, who I greatly respect, always told me that foul language makes you sound ignorant. Now, one slips every once in a while, but while at work I really try not to. As far as your situation, I think other posters have hit it right on the head: New people should be cautious of rocking the boat. Going to the supervisor is a huge mistake an will make your coworker see you as a snitch and someone who can not be trusted. You dont want to make enemies, and going to a supervisor over something that is small and not effecting patient care or crossing the line and becoming abusive is going to only make your seem petty.
Like my wonderul Nanny said: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!!

Furoffire · Jun 11, 2006

dear kelly from ny, i will try to explain. i have the spirit of the living god in me and when for example i hear cussing, see violence etc. it does not feel right to me, i get a shrill that moves through me, guess like salt on a wound. i'm not perfect nor self righteous, its just what i and perhaps others feel. guess i am concerned like a frog slowly boiling in water, i do not want to become desensitzed (sp??) in the work place. i can understand how certain religious sayings can get on your nerves, i used to be that way and still don't like when people use it insincerely. :paw: :paw: :paw: :paw:

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Jun 11, 2006

good luck

PANurseRN1 · Jun 11, 2006

dear kelly from ny, i will try to explain. i have the spirit of the living god in me and when for example i hear cussing, see violence etc. it does not feel right to me, i get a shrill that moves through me, guess like salt on a wound. i'm not perfect nor self righteous, its just what i and perhaps others feel. guess i am concerned like a frog slowly boiling in water, i do not want to become desensitzed (sp??) in the work place. i can understand how certain religious sayings can get on your nerves, i used to be that way and still don't like when people use it insincerely. :paw: :paw: :paw: :paw:

let's see. jesus spent time with theives, prostitutes, etc. i'd be willing to bet their language was, eh, "colorful" at times. do you think he went around shushing them, giving them reproving looks, sermonettes, etc?

there's also a lot to be said for leading by example. going about your work quietly, not cursing, but not making a big deal out of it when someone slips may get you further than pointing it out every time someone swears.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 11, 2006

it seems to me that you may need to consider another place to work. one thing that makes me curious, though...what would happen if the patient and/or their families curse? you may see that quite often. i have worked in the hospital setting for many years before becoming a nurse, and there will be patients that are from all walks of life...and that will include the grimy side of life...child molesters, gang members, prisoners, racists, and people who are just plain mean, no matter how much loving energy is offered to them. how would that be handled, then? i remember once, a patient's family came to the hospital (all 17 of them), and when they were told that only two at a time were allowed to visit the client, they cursed and got so violent that 15 police cars and a helicopter had to come to the hospital grounds to break up the physical fights that broke out between the hospital security, orderlies and staff members trying to intervene. it may not be the every day occurance, i do admit, but, believe me, it can be very hairy.

dear kelly from ny, i will try to explain. i have the spirit of the living god in me and when for example i hear cussing, see violence etc. it does not feel right to me, i get a shrill that moves through me, guess like salt on a wound. i'm not perfect nor self righteous, its just what i and perhaps others feel. guess i am concerned like a frog slowly boiling in water, i do not want to become desensitzed (sp??) in the work place. i can understand how certain religious sayings can get on your nerves, i used to be that way and still don't like when people use it insincerely. :paw: :paw: :paw: :paw:

Furoffire · Jun 11, 2006

i think part of my issue is that i had to take several years off for medical issues and became sheltered in my little world. i remember a nurse that i used to work with, a pillar of strenght, never preached at anyone but learned to just turn the cheek and found everyone loving and accepting espeically those that were in great need. she was my model and mentor. i hope to find another professional mentor that i admire and model after them, we learn my example :paw: :paw: :paw:

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jun 11, 2006

Cussing is unprofessional and shouldn't be tolerated in public.
Since you are new I might go to a supervisor and just have a private chat about how to handle it. Don't complain about individuals. Just a general sense of how the organization is supposed to handle cussing in public.
You would be surprised at the way we are perceived by the public - we've gotten responses back from patients who said they could hear private conversations at the nurses's station.
Larry - loved your "fowl" reference.
Profanity is ignorance made audible - my granny said that.
steph

I love that!! Never have I heard such a profound truth so well expressed.......your granny must've been one smart lady.:)

I've read this thread now from stem to stern, and I'm still of two minds when it comes to foul (fowl? ) language used in the workplace, as the OP described.

Personally, I don't use profanity at work. I'm the health services director for a small ALF, and as such, I need to model professional behavior for my staff. Also, I avoid using bad language out of respect for my residents, most of whom are members of a generation that knew how to express itself without peppering its dialogue with curse words. But then again, I was raised by parents who taught me some 'couth'.......in other words, I know the difference between when it is and is not permissible to cuss, burp, scratch, yawn, and otherwise behave in a crude fashion.

On the other hand, the OP may need to grow a little thicker skin, because many, many people do use curse words on a regular basis, and they're not going to change for one person. As long as it's not done in front of patients or the public, a little venting can help ease frustrations (how many folks can honestly say they have NEVER yelled "Oh, $#!+" when they accidentally smash a bottle of TPN in the med room?) and enable one to resume their appointed rounds. The OP didn't say she was being sworn at, merely that co-workers swear around her, and there's a big difference........perhaps not to her, but a difference nonetheless.

I think Furoffire's best course of action would be to lead by example. People are not stupid and they will figure out eventually that a) this nurse never curses, and b) it's probably because she doesn't like it. I know I swear more around people who find it acceptable, and a great deal less (or not at all) around people who rarely curse; I'd bet that as the weeks pass and the OP grows more familiar with her unit and co-workers, the overall amount of swearing will decrease.

Just my $.02 worth.

Furoffire · Jun 12, 2006

:paw: :paw: :paw: :redpinkhe another thought came to mind as i read this topic......i've been recently in several medical challenges both personally, family and close friends. as a client to the doctor or present w/ family etc. i am upheld with high value and respect, referred to ms. furoffire, etc. some of these md's & clinic staff remember me and continue concern and treat me w/ respect and very professionally. why, now, as i become part of the staff should be treated (mostly by a few md's that do not know me from adam) with a "tude" (attitude) or my new (not all of course) co-workers include 4 letter words (curse words, i call foul not fowel as in bird) in thier sentences of expression? i am still a lady, ms. furoffire, and chose an honorable profession as a nurse. :paw: :paw: :paw:

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2006

We could read your posts better if you would post in a normal color.

Larry77, RN · Jun 12, 2006

Yikes Furoffire those letters are very distracting...some of us might appreciate a little toned down version. Colors fine and pretty and all but the big size and bold print just puts it over the edge for me.

Like I said before I am a Christian but do not let it get in the way of my job. My job is my job and my religion is my religion. I certainly wouldn't say something like, "I have the spirit of the living God living in me" because that does make you sound very much "holier than thou". I believe that God lives in each one of us but certainly not just me :)

Like I suggested before the ED is quite a "ruff" place to work and people have to deal with the pressure some how, maybe this is not the line of nursing that suits you. They hire nurses where I work for parish nursing then you could be free to express your beliefs on a daily basis to people that are open to receive it.

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2006

To the OP, you said you have been a nurse 20-plus years and are returning after a bit of an absense. You said you are looking for a mentor like you had once. You don't need a mentor; how about acting like a mentor yourself? Also statements like "I am a god-fearing woman" and "I have the spirit of the living God in me" could create the appearance that you feel superior and set apart from others, trying to live in some sort of sanitized la-la land. Note, I am not saying this to be true, I have no idea. I'm just saying this is how it appears.

You are new on the job. I'd pick your battles carefully. Especially if you are working in ER like another poster said? Are you? I've worked in ER's and they do tend to be not for the meek or delicate.

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2006

I started a new job last year. One nurse I worked with swore all of the time when she talked to the other nurses. Not in anger, just in her regular conversation.
One day someone told her I was a pastor's wife. She asked me if I wanted her to stop swearing when she was around me. I said, "I wouldn't want someone to expect me to change just for them, why should I expect that of others?"
I guess I see it this way...Jesus doesn't expect us to get all sparkling clean before he'll have anything to do with us... I shouldn't expect others to do that for me, either. Instead, I look past the language and to the heart of my co-workers. In respecting them for who they are, I find that they respect me, also.
White Shoes

I love this attitude.