Can I have advice please as for what to say to some of my coworkers who do this?
They will tell my patients that I'm "not very smart and it's scary I'm a nurse" for example. I have felt it damage the rapport with a few patients they said this to in front of me.
I wonder what I've done for them to do this (them is really just 3 people but it feels like a lot more you know what I mean? It feels like everyone else will follow them) I think maybe I ask for it in a way because I have a habit to make jokes at my expense and laugh at myself.
But whatever the reason I don't feel it's right especially not in front of my patients who need to feel that they can trust me.
I am a competant nurse. I have not made any mistakes, I ask questions when I'm not sure of something and I do resrearch when I need to. I've never been in trouble for doing something wrong as a nurse. I am a new nurse though so I'm always learning yet.
What can I say to stop this? I've said in the past "I've graduated top of my class I'm not stupid" but it continues.
Maybe my response sounds arrogant. Can anyone suggest something else?
Thank you.
Edit
The people who do this are a nurse, an aid, and a secretary. I know I sound sensitive but it does effect my day and like I said my patients' trust when I'm called stupid or dumb and especially the last comment telling my patient that it's scary I'm a nurse, had really bothered me. The context this was said in was I asked a student if she was a student nurse. She wore no badge and her lab coat did have the school enblem but on a shoulder that wasn't facing me. I was ambulating my new post op patient in the hall. The aid said "she's not too smart it's scary she's a nurse". There's been countless other instances similar where I don't feel it's deserved, I mean that I didn't do any mistake or something to deserve to be called names.
I think approaching them first would be a good first step. Figure out why they continue to make these comments and let them know your feelings about it, if you feel comfortable doing so. It is extremely unprofessional to speak like this to anyone in the work place and does need to be addressed. I would definitely talk with a manager because chances are other people may have the same complaints or issues with these employees. Letting management know what is going on is important and can help them come up with a plan of action to make it stop without causing personal conflict between you and your co-workers.
OP, I can't believe you haven't decked them by now.
Girl, get your head on straight and make it clear, very clear that you are not stupid and you will not allow anyone to call you stupid ever again, especially in front of patients. Then follow through.
If I were a patient, I'd be terrified.
No, don't actually get physical. do what Davey said to do.
I haven't read but a few comments. Simply, I would have snapped on time 1 if someone called me anything negative in front or not in front of a pt. They'd gotten their head bit OFF. That's bullying and absolutely unacceptable. Nuff said.
...No sure what else to add, that hasn't been addressed; other than, you need speak up and stand up for yourself. This is very unusual behavior (even for nurses!!). You might want to consider having a difficult conversation with these people or wait until the next incident occur (...because it will) to address the behavior right there and then (I really liked Dave's response). Difficult conversations are uncomfortable; however the more you do, the easier they get. It you need to enlist your manager or educator, do it...but, that needs to stop.
With all due love and respect, ponymom, I would not advise direwOlf to do this.
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Thank you Davey Do..
I guess I didn't elaborate....is the tone I've used in the past that has worked and caused the offending pigs to take pause and stop their juvenile behavior. Not weepy whiny "why are you picking on meee?", but kind of a cross between an sarcastic although almost incredulously stated "why ya saying **** like this?, what's your reason?, you feeling okay? ya got somethin goin on?" Hold the stare... Knock the pig back verbally, those kind have always caved when I've had to teach them how to treat me or someone else they may have decided to target.
When someone says something like this to me, I usually say, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that...could you repeat it". Being forced to repeat such a spiteful comment usually leaves them feeling really embarrassed. If they have the gall to repeat it, then it clearly wasn't meant as a joke, in which case you can confront it there and then because they will be repeating it directly to your face and not as an off-the-cuff comment.
This works brilliantly especially if you say it loudly and with an audience. I have also found when someone comes up to me and says "so and so said such and such about you" I ask them "soooo what did you say to them to make them stop?" Absolutely stops them in their tracks while letting them know they are just as much a part of the problem.
The behavior the OP described truly fits the definition of bullying as well as patient abuse. Targeted, repeated behavior that impacts a person's livelihood and professional reputation is very different than simply making someone feel bad because they were ignored. These kind of statements open the OP up to scrutiny and potential allegations of malpractice. She could be reported to the board and be completely innocent. We've all heard of it happening. Additionally, making patients fear for their well-being is indefensible and anybody participating should be fired on the spot and reported.
NurseBirk
1 Post
I think approaching them first would be a good first step. Figure out why they continue to make these comments and let them know your feelings about it, if you feel comfortable doing so. It is extremely unprofessional to speak like this to anyone in the work place and does need to be addressed. I would definitely talk with a manager because chances are other people may have the same complaints or issues with these employees. Letting management know what is going on is important and can help them come up with a plan of action to make it stop without causing personal conflict between you and your co-workers.