So I thought that my workplace was fairly immune to this kind of behavior. There's a wide variety of religions and cultures in our staff and in our patients. I had just started feeling comfortable with my coworkers.
Yesterday my coworker tried converting me to Christianity while on lunch break. It was completely unexpected and horribly awkward, all mixed in with terribly insulting. She started innocently enough by asking me what religion I was. From there it went into why I'm not Christian, why don't I believe in Satan, how the Bible is real, how Jesus will save non believers only if they ask. Then she asked me to promise her that I'd re-read the Bible and ask her about any parts I don't understand.
I'm angry. Embarrassed. I don't want to "rock the boat" at my unit. She's been there longer than I have. At the same time, I'm worried she's doing the same to other employees or even patients.
I'm just curious - what would you do if you were in my situation? I'm still trying to weigh my options before I act.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Just be polite and say that you are not a believer. This is a nursing forum about nursing, not a place to rant about how you can't stomach Christians. Honestly, I am sure that she did not mean to insult you and was just trying to bring something pleasant into your life. For some reason people are very offended by Christianity these days. I think that due to all the far- out depictions in movies, people see it as someone trying to do something to them, when in reality Christians are positive people who try to help others. I used to be very closed minded about them due to the way I was raised also, until I decided to shake all the junk out of my head and see for myself. I am still not a believer but I am well studied on Christians because I became educated with facts and experience instead of false news and hate movies.
I went to North County Baptist Church and discovered that the nonsense in movies like "Carrie" is absolutely false. And the idea of Christians thinking that they are superior is 100% baloney. What I saw was several people volunteering their time three times per week to take care of children who's parents can't afford a sitter, another group of people were pooling their money every Tuesday to pass out food to the homeless. These people volunteer their time and money up to about 16 hours per week, every week. After attending the church for over one month my heart melted, and I no longer feel sick when I hear Christians talking about God. I actually am ashamed that I once made fun of these people because as nice as I can be I simply don't have it in me to drive a bus of kids around three times per week, adding up to over more than 10 hours. And as generous as I can be, I don't save a percentage of my income to try and help the less fortunate as these people are doing on a regular basis. When they talk about God they are trying to bring some light into your life and I would be willing to bet that this lady, seeing that you are a nurse, thinks that you are caring and could possibly help someone, or that perhaps you could use some emotional support. Try seeing it for what it probably is and it wont upset you.
I get it that you don't understand how insulting and unwelcome it is when someone tries to foist their own religious convictions on someone else. That's the problem with "Christians" these days. It seems that only the people who meet THEIR standards of "Christianity" are truly "Christians". I've even been told that I'm "not a real Christian" because I attend St. Benedict's Catholic Church instead of the "Ultimate Bible Baptist Church" or whatever that megachurch down the way is calling itself now.
But anyone who really thought the movie "Carrie" was rooted in reality probably isn't someone I should be arguing with. It's no fun engaging in a battle of wits with unarmed opponents.
If there is a hell it's right here on earth.Too much suffering that it's hard to believe there could a place that's worse when you die. Heaven and hell are just make belief places the church made up in order to keep people in line and money coming in for them. The more you donate the better your chances of ending up at the pearly gates.
But anyone who really thought the movie "Carrie" was rooted in reality probably isn't someone I should be arguing with. It's no fun engaging in a battle of wits with unarmed opponents.
Wait............you mean "Carrie" isn't based on a true story? Darn. All these years I thought it was.
Pardon me but what the heck does not wanting to badgered at work by proselytizing Christians equate with wanting them all dead by ISIS.
Martyr complex much?
Hyperbolic statements like that are what make me more positive that I want little to do with Christianity. Someone says, Happy Holidays! and they have a conniption melt down over a "war on Christmas". One declines to accept someone proselytizing to them, and that equals wanting them murdered by ISIS?
I thought I made it clear, by quoting the poster to whom I was responding, that the first part of my comment was not intended for OP.
Later in my post, I addressed the OP and was equally clear about that. At least, I thought so.
The ISIS comment was intended as a response to someone who said Christians shouldn't be allowed to have their views represented in the political processes of this country.
I'm very religious. I also agree with most of the people on this thread that what the OP experienced and some of the comments here are the worst kind of ham-handed prosletyzing. Real evangelization is done through actions, not words, about 99% of the time.
Sounds like you're scared of what will happen when you die. Your coworker was trying to help you and didn't sound harassing or inappropriate to me whatsoever. If you can't handle some simple questions like those you were asked, I sure wouldn't want you to be my nurse if I had questions about my care. Jesus told His followers to share Him with others. We each can do that in our own ways, and she was trying her own method. I usually don't use her method, but I would like to hear her side of the story. As far as what you should do, probably you could start by thinking about her questions and examining the status of your soul in the light of God's teachings. You should be flattered that she loves you enough to throw out a lifeline. It is sad that you are fighting against imminent judgement with no hope in Christ to save you.
It's good that you fleshed this perspective out because this thread was lopsided. All points of view ought to be on the table for a proper discussion.
I don't remember the OP admitting she was afraid of what will happen to her after she dies, but I do remember her coworker asking if she was. There's an assumption that everyone has this fear of what happens, where we go, etc etc. It's a fair assumption.
But it's a stretch to go from wondering what happens after you die to being frightened of going to Hell. For people like most nonbelievers, "Hell" doesn't enter the equation. Should it? Only if Hell is a real place. The only 'evidence' for Hell being a real place is in the Bible, which is itself a questionable source of truth to a nonbeliever.
God, faith, Hell, and belief just don't 'figure in' to the fabric of a nonbeliever's world view. Neither do Thor, or Krishna or the Lock Ness Monster. They are remarkable and interesting relics of religions across the world, that have been around as long as we have. For me personally, asking why I don't believe in Hell is like asking why I don't believe in the Easter Bunny. It really is that much of a non issue.
In order for a person to have the kinds of questions and responses you assume of the OP, the OP would have to already BE a Christian, which isn't the case. Only a Christian will worry or express concern such as yours.
Worrying about the existence of God, or Hell is NOT something everyone is doing (or trying not to do :) ). This is not a 'given' in the minds of human beings, unless they are already believers.
If witnessing to nonbelievers is something you are told to do as a Christian, it's important that you understand that nonbelievers don't worry about these things, and don't think any differently of the Christian God than Odin or the Hindu Brahma. We're not insulting God or Jesus, comparing them to other gods humanity has come up with over the millenia. It seems like people in general end up believing in the gods specific to their culture, or country. People born in India can be Hindu, Muslim, Christian or Jain (for starters). People born in Africa believe in their tribe's gods. It's all where you were born. Were people born as Hindus just . . . . luckier than most? Or born Christian? I'd bet if you were born in certain parts of India you would be Hindu.
With that in mind, nonbelievers see all religions as belonging to a country or ethnicity -- like myths.
If you approach a nonbeliever, you have to know where they are REALLY coming from, which means you'll have to find some way to RELATE with them. Understand where they are coming from :) . Understand how outlandish and downright bizarre it sounds to have someone assume you are afraid of going to Hell -- when the thought hasn't crossed your mind. If you don't understand nonbelievers, you can't witness to them very effectively.
So I thought that my workplace was fairly immune to this kind of behavior. There's a wide variety of religions and cultures in our staff and in our patients. I had just started feeling comfortable with my coworkers.
Yesterday my coworker tried converting me to Christianity while on lunch break. It was completely unexpected and horribly awkward, all mixed in with terribly insulting. She started innocently enough by asking me what religion I was. From there it went into why I'm not Christian, why don't I believe in Satan, how the Bible is real, how Jesus will save non believers only if they ask. Then she asked me to promise her that I'd re-read the Bible and ask her about any parts I don't understand.
I'm angry. Embarrassed. I don't want to "rock the boat" at my unit. She's been there longer than I have. At the same time, I'm worried she's doing the same to other employees or even patients.
I'm just curious - what would you do if you were in my situation? I'm still trying to weigh my options before I act.
While in a classroom during orientation for an agency assignment I had another nurse question my choice of jewelry displayed on a picture for my ID badge. Normally, I wouldn't entertain such silly dialogue regarding my personal appearance for a stranger or acquaintance in the workplace that I hardly knew, but she appeared to be innocently inquisitive by nature so I bit. Bad idea! She proceeds to question my sexuality and aggressively moved to religion as if I had somehow confirmed her ignorant assertions. Loudly..in front of the entire class. I won't repeat what she said for the sake of keeping an already boiling thread at bay, but I was infuriated! If looks could kill..she'd no longer be with us. I'm sure she could tell by my facial expression that she had gone too far, as she stopped before I could open my mouth and let her know what time it was.
Though I hadn't responded to any of her assumptions regarding my sexuality or religion, I opened the door by allowing her to question my appearance in the first place. Therefore, I would not report her for this. I know better, but I was trying to be friendly. It's never okay to allow anyone to cross that line..nip it in the bud the minute it begins. I would definitely keep it out of the office unless it continues. Let her know how it made you feel and emphasize how inappropriate she was. You don't have to be rude or insulting just be firm. If it continues then you are 100% justified in reporting her.
The course of this thread is an illustration of what happens when one answers rude behavior with snark and outrage. If this is what you want in your nurses' stations (and what happens in the breakroom does spill over), then carry on. I'd say leave your patients and uninvolved co-workers out of it, but that probably won't happen. Proving the other guy is not only wrong, but stupid and bigoted and a Nazi oppressor is just too much fun.
The workplace does not exist to provide opportunities to expand god's fan base. I think he can handle representing himself without help for 8 or 12 hours. Or for non-christians to add a few curlicues to their victim cards. Nor is it a venue for atheists to do their Bill Maher impressions - find a coffee house with an open mike night.
I read that the OP has found some of these suggestions useful. I'm glad for that. The interface between different religious traditions, as well as with non-religion, can be a tricky one. Civility is key, in my view. Regardless of whether I enjoy a co-worker's behavior, s/he remains a co-worker who may well be working a code across the bed from me in twenty minutes. Find a way to establish boundaries in the workplace without declaring war ... is that too hard to understand? Find another hill to die on.
Just keep a copy of a generic cease/desist letter and then have a blank for the reason and fill it in with pink marker and smile big when you hand it off to the offender! On a serious note I would say I prefer not to talk about the subject of religion...followed up by a prompt How about those (insert sports team here)....People dont know to stop unless you tell them?
If any other group of people were being mocked and ridiculed the way Christians have been in this thread, it no doubt would have been shut down long ago.
I am honestly not easily offended, but as a Christian, some of the posts in this thread have been needlessly inflammatory and insulting.
I am estranged from my half-sister for this very reason. She used to talk to me as if her religion was the ultimate salvation and anyone not of her religion was damned, including myself. She never told me that in so many words but her conversations were always revolving around what we do in life being for or against God's approval. I got so sick of her trying to convert me per se that I stopped speaking to her without explanation. I don't even know where she is now to be honest.
If I could do that to my own sister, I certainly have no problem doing it with a co-worker. I'm quite happy with my relationship with God and I wont tolerate anyone telling me that their life is better than mine because of their religion. To each his own.
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,053 Posts
I get it that you don't understand how insulting and unwelcome it is when someone tries to foist their own religious convictions on someone else. That's the problem with "Christians" these days. It seems that only the people who meet THEIR standards of "Christianity" are truly "Christians". I've even been told that I'm "not a real Christian" because I attend St. Benedict's Catholic Church instead of the "Ultimate Bible Baptist Church" or whatever that megachurch down the way is calling itself now.
But anyone who really thought the movie "Carrie" was rooted in reality probably isn't someone I should be arguing with. It's no fun engaging in a battle of wits with unarmed opponents.