how to cope with humiliation

Lurksalot, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2010

I am very sorry to hear you are going through something like this. I know it is probably the hardest thing in the world to keep your head up & face scrunity straight on, especially when you know you didn't do anything wrong. Stay strong, lean on your friends, and stick to the facts to pull through. Good luck to you.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2010

How difficult!

Try to look at things objectively-YOU know you did nothing wrong.

I've had this happen and from that point on I doumented to CMA/ CMB and watched my back, I'm a trusting and nice person and felt I was taken advantage because of that quality.

Those qualities exist to a point and must be earned now.

Stay strong!

leslie :-D · Dec 14, 2010

i don't understand "humiliation" when you haven't done anything wrong.

rather, i have been furious, defiant, (iow, other undesirable emotions) and confrontational.

as stated, you stick with what you do know and steadfastly reject the allegations.

put it in writing, keep your cool, stay true to what you believe and know...

but do not feel humiliated.

that only gives them more power over you.

if it's that serious, consider a legal consult.

do not share your 'visit' with anyone.

and stay strong...justice and/or karma will prevail.

leslie

neuroms · Dec 14, 2010

If it's not job threateningly serious, take it in stride. Even put a positive face on it. Forget that you didn't do it (again, only if it's minor) and ask for possible areas of improvement, try to develop ongoing education plan. Take advantage of solo time with the manager to make it constructive. Remember, the manager wants a chance to not be the bad guy and feel like she's making things better.

If it's a points issue, stay calm. Ask for documentation and document your version of events (consider legal aide). Remember, if you don't document, it didn't happen.

redshiloh · Dec 14, 2010

My staff tells me they feel like they are being called to the principal's office, even when they have done nothing wrong!

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2010

This is a broad question and more info needs to be shared by you for more constructive advice. There is a lot you can do to protect yourself.

beewink · Dec 14, 2010

i don't understand "humiliation" when you haven't done anything wrong.
rather, i have been furious, defiant, (iow, other undesirable emotions) and confrontational.
as stated, you stick with what you do know and steadfastly reject the allegations.
put it in writing, keep your cool, stay true to what you believe and know...
but do not feel humiliated.
that only gives them more power over you.
if it's that serious, consider a legal consult.
do not share your 'visit' with anyone.
and stay strong...justice and/or karma will prevail.
leslie

This^

ocean waves · Dec 15, 2010

Hello. I agree with many of the other writers about helpful approaches to this situation: (1) constructive responses---try to keep your "work politics" in good shape for your good performance evaluation and a good reference for future work; (3)assertive responses--gather any specific evidence which will support it was not your fault, and calmly submit this information to your manager. Long ago I was tempted to have a "showdown" with a nurse manager because she called me at home at 11 P.M. and insisted that I was supposed to be at work that night when it was actually my scheduled night off work---however, I kept my politics intact and was assertive and said: "there seems to be an error in your copy of the work schedule, but I will come to work tonight and hopefully we will clear this up later"---I went to work, then the next day the manager called me with her apology about her error. Good luck!

ktwlpn, LPN · Dec 15, 2010

i don't understand "humiliation" when you haven't done anything wrong.
rather, i have been furious, defiant, (iow, other undesirable emotions) and confrontational.
as stated, you stick with what you do know and steadfastly reject the allegations.
put it in writing, keep your cool, stay true to what you believe and know...
but do not feel humiliated.
that only gives them more power over you.
if it's that serious, consider a legal consult.
do not share your 'visit' with anyone.
and stay strong...justice and/or karma will prevail.
leslie

I can understand- When I asked the DON why I had been called to her office last year she stood up, walked around behind me, slammed her door shut and yelled " Don't act so f*cking stupid-you know exactly why you are in here" Actually, I didn't-and it turned out to be something my co-worker had done. I never got an apology and she certainly did not inform all staff within earshot of her tirade that she was mistaken.I know the feeling well.I did calmy stand up for myself that day.It's important to remain calm and un-emotional

AR_RN · Dec 15, 2010

As said before, more info would be helpful, but humiliation is an emotion you may just have to tame. I was crushed and embarrassed and on the verge of tears the first time I was called into my mgr office. Now, I take it in stride. Not only does she call people into the office all the time for all kinds of things (good and bad), but no one but me knows why I was in there, and rarely is it even something worth stressing over. I calmly defend myself when needed, sometimes just nod and let her say her piece so I can go on about my job, whatever the "crime" requires, but bottom line, have confidence in yourself don't let a scolding get you down.

savgal1211 · Dec 15, 2010

I am sorry for waht you are going through. Here is some advice that has served me well. I just got a letter today from the Virginia Nursing board, they had been investigating me for , well, the case has been pending for 6 months.

Well, I got the certified letter and they stated "There was insufficient evidence to find me at fault for anything". My whole license was on th eline, there were narcs not "Scanned:" correctly at my former work place, and I can't ge tinto the whole thing,, but to tell you I was massively full of relief! I went before a board subordinate, with a lawyer, on 12/2. It was something blown way out of proportion! Here is what to do:

1. Question with boldness

2. Speak withour Fear

3. Hold to the truth.

These 3 tips served me well. please remember to follow these 3 things!!