Co-workers talk.....

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Specializes in LTC, OB-GYN, Assisted living.

all the time. BAD talk about new DON. DON had a good attitude when she started, and I'm gradually seeing that change. All nurses talk bad about her, and about other nurses. I don't say anything, but I see what's going on. She's never been a DON before. I have a good opinion of her, but because of all the talk, and the attitude change in her, I feel like my opinions are changing. What to do? Is your LTC a gossip fest?:confused:

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Specializes in LTC, OB-GYN, Assisted living.

Also makes me wonder what they say about me.

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Specializes in Woundcare.

What to do? Stay out of it, that's what. You won't be able to stop other people from speaking badly about her (and who knows, maybe they have a reason to but that's not your business either) but you can just stay out of it. Don't let others draw you into the drama and I guarantee you will be much happier in the long run.

As for the attitude change in her, unfortunately you can't do much about that either. Just stay professional and hopefully you'll be out of her line of fire.

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Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU, Psych, Med-surg...etc....

People are resistant to change and fear is what makes them say things sometimes. It is a shame that people judge before giving anyone a chance to prove themself. I hope that your DON does not let this gossip and rudeness affect her. Not knowing her past experience, it is impossible to say how this will change her, but those of us who have been in management know that you have to have a thick skin and not let things said get to you. As was previously posted, "Don't get involved in the drama". Just do what you know is right and do not feed into it. Hopefully after a bit, if others take your lead, it will pass, however, by this you now know who to always keep in front of you....STAY UNDER the radar, I always say.

Some people need drama. For some reason if someting isn't going on they can't stand it so they have to manufacture it...stay away from it and them!

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Don't you just hate working sometimes?

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

I've been in your spot many times... it's really tough trying to "feel out" the new boss. Some peers are just dissenters whom will spread vile words against the best person... some leaders are managers that are new and learning like yours and going through their learning process gives everyone bumps and bruises.

If (she) is willing to take her mistakes, own them, clarify and redirect than I respect that. Management that "doesn't fail", is worthless to me. We all own our mistakes and want others to know about them to learn from them, I DO expect that from someone that wants to ... "lead me".

In fairness, I give a new boss several mishaps, especially with communication.. the most important, but the most undermined by the grapevine. I do not forgive or forget a manager whom is legit in unfairness, not standardized in discipline and picks small issues to be the battle hill while ignoring the war.

So for co-worker talk, I listen, always consider the source, wait it out.. watch and see and have a few interactions of my own... long before I allow the masses to help form my opinion.

Unfortunately I've yet been surprised or pleased, but each change over I gather up the strength to be hopeful that this new one "just might be the one".

Stupid, maybe even naive... but consider I've been through 8 managers in 15 years and the only thing I can promise you is to not get your panties in a wad, because they will change, and I've outlasted them all.

Some... I wouldn't pee on it they were on fire, others I'd pull the fire alarm, few... I'd pull the pin and extinguish.

Such is nursing. I survive by listening carefully to the talk and NEVER EVER letting it upset me, or letting me believe just one side until I've been burnt. I should have believed in reincarnation because my behind is toast routinely, but somehow with each change... I take that stubborn deep breath and hope.

I hope you can find that in you to give the newbie boss some slack... they're not perfect, will mess up and what they do with those screw ups.... tells you hook line and sinker what to expect in the future, more so than your peers.... watch and learn.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.
Also makes me wonder what they say about me.

Any coworker that lacks the brass ones to say anything to you in private, carries no weight as to what they say behind your back, they are not worthy of your concern. Value any nurse that pulls you aside and tells you what they have fixed from your mishap, teaches you about how you called something wrong, or calls out your charting that doesn't protect you.

Those that speak to you in private are worth their weight in gold. You can make those conversations happen by asking the opposite shift nurse in private to give you feedback... honest feedback. If they know you can take and want the criticism, you'll get it the respectful way.

those that choose the other route, dead to me and simply petty and unimportant if they aren't there to help me grow... they exist to tear me down for their behalf. Plain and simple but a tough one that takes practice to accept. Search out feedback in private, and you'll never have to worry about the opinions that count.

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Specializes in LTC, OB-GYN, Assisted living.
Any coworker that lacks the brass ones to say anything to you in private, carries no weight as to what they say behind your back, they are not worthy of your concern. Value any nurse that pulls you aside and tells you what they have fixed from your mishap, teaches you about how you called something wrong, or calls out your charting that doesn't protect you.

Those that speak to you in private are worth their weight in gold. You can make those conversations happen by asking the opposite shift nurse in private to give you feedback... honest feedback. If they know you can take and want the criticism, you'll get it the respectful way.

those that choose the other route, dead to me and simply petty and unimportant if they aren't there to help me grow... they exist to tear me down for their behalf. Plain and simple but a tough one that takes practice to accept. Search out feedback in private, and you'll never have to worry about the opinions that count.

So true!

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What to do? Do your job.

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Specializes in MS, LTC, Post Op.

Go in, do your job to the best of you ability everyday. Keep your head down, ears open and mouth shut. Offer to be helpful and courtious when need be.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.
Also makes me wonder what they say about me.

That's your problem right there. Who cares what they say, they don't determine who you are.

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I would simply say "I have no opinion , as she is new". It takes a full year to see if a D.O.N. has the right stuff.

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