co worker sharing her concerns

[beeble]

i work 12 hour shifts in an acut care setting. At 11 pm, i was told i would be precepting, and got a new pt load. the preceptee is an experienced nurse. one of the patients had been admitted for bleeding, and had gotten 6 units prbc, 2 units ffp, and platelets during the day. last labs were at 4 pm, and none ordered until 6 am. i text paged the treatment team on call resident to ask if he wanted midnight rechecks.

he immed called back, and started yelling into the phone, what do you want hgb for, tell me, and on and on. i told him last checks were at 4....he con't to yell ,and what do you want them for', i said, why dont you think about it, and call me back...he hung up on me.

he shortly afterwards came to the unit, and half apologized, i said why do you hang up on me, he said, you were asking why i am asking you about why i needed a hgb, and to think about it and call you back. he said it was 'half my fault' but he apologized, and said he had previously just been yelled at. later he came back to the u it again, and sincerely apologized.

i worked cooperatively with my preceptee, working together, explaining as we went along, letting her do what she could, ect, trying to make her feel comfortable and supported.

in the later morning, i helped a relatively new coworker get some drips hung and deal with her pt desatting.

as i was leaving in the morning, the clinical specialist 'asst nurse mgr', pulled me aside and said in a very challenging tone, like talking to a child, a coworker had expressed 'concerns' about a md interaction at the desk in front of a preceptee that was awkward. did i not have a scuffle with an md, ect, and that that lacked professionalis in front of the preceptee.

***. i was like 'i treated the preceptee as nice as i possibly could. i called the md for a hgb on a bleeding pt, and he yeled at me, and hung up on me. he came to the unit 2x to apologize. you dont need tohave an accusatory tone when talking to me. i am the last person you need to speak to about conflict, i am nicer to people here than 95% of your staff, and that means everyone fro the janitor to the attending. if this person were uncomfortable, she could have come to me, or not let me help her for the last hour of work. i resent the tattletailing as unproductive ans malicious, but thank you forsharing this with me. i will let you know that at this stage in my life, i will not work with this pettiness, and request a meeting btwn you and the staf person and i, as now this makes me feel awkward....ect, i was very upset...

what do you think of the staff person 'sharing her concer', she is a relatively new grad....

[beeble]

sorry for typos, writing this on a phone...

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

The key word is "new grad". Although I haven't started NS yet, I have worked in the hospital for 20 yrs in various jobs such as a nursing assistant, EKG tech and now as a sleep technologist for the past 13 yrs . This is obviously a person that has never worked in a hospital and been on the receiving end of a doctor that is taking is anger out on an innocent person. You said that he had just been yelled at previously. She still has the "doctors deserve to be put on pedestals" attitude and you should never talk back to them like you did by telling him to "think about it and call me back." She is a "Bambi." All doe eyed and innocent. I had an ER doctor that had to yell at every new employee to see what kind of person they were. If you stood your ground and defend your actions then he respected you and had no other problems with him.

[VANurse2010]

Maybe you shouldn't have reacted the way you did, and the MD shouldn't have either, but this interaction had *nothing* to do with the co-worker. She should have minded her own business. If this is her MO, she should be prepared to watch her own back over everything.

[beeble]

thanks for the replies. i send text messages for non urgent needs so the md can think about before calling me with an answer. i dont want to argue with him/her about anything....or defend any position, i am merely putting it out there....

wondering about this supervisor, and how she took it and ran. she later in the talk apologized for her 'accusatory tone, but i am now disgusted, will have bad feelings about this co worker, and be reluctant in my dislike to ever help her again, unless its an emergency, ect....it just sets up such a bad tone, how to handle it?

[meandragonbrett]

thanks for the replies. i send text messages for non urgent needs so the md can think about before calling me with an answer. i dont want to argue with him/her about anything....or defend any position, i am merely putting it out there....

wondering about this supervisor, and how she took it and ran. she later in the talk apologized for her 'accusatory tone, but i am now disgusted, will have bad feelings about this co worker, and be reluctant in my dislike to ever help her again, unless its an emergency, ect....it just sets up such a bad tone, how to handle it?

I would simply pull this person to the side and let them know for future reference they should interact with you regarding things of this nature and not to run to management.

There are bigger fish to fry in the hospital!

[beeble]

normally i would approach the person like you said. in this case, i am so repulsed, and view this person as really immature, that i dont think it would go well. i am concerned about how mgt dealt with it. also, i would not like to precept anymore at all. all in all, after working so hard, it just makes me question whether this unit, with its coworkers and mgt, are worth any more effort, and maybe i should seek a diff unit....

[Altra, BSN, RN]

You're questioning whether or not you want to continue in this job on the basis of this one conversation with an asst. manager? And questioning whether or not you want to precept anymore when nothing negative even occurred with your orientee?

Be prepared to job hop.

[beeble]

well, i am just that upset. i work hard enough. i also know that i just dont want to engage in this type of thing, at all. life is too short.

[beeble]

still trying to process this, can anyone offer additional insight/opinions? thanks

[nursel56]

Was the tattle-tale in the meeting with you? If not it might help to have them included. Otherwise I do think you need to let it go. The doctor apologized for being rude, your supervisor apologized for her accusatory tone. It isn't going to get much better than that.

When I've had conflicts with difficult co-workers and think I will never speak to them again it all usually blows over in much less time than I expected.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Write everyone a "fools pass" and try to move on.

I know it is easier said than done, but in 1 week, 1 month or a year, this will be way behind you and almost forgotten.