Co-worker who calls me cutsie terms of endearment and pokes me a lot

rhondaa83 · Dec 13, 2008

I would tell her in a nice way, that it makes you uncomfortable when she touches you, just kind of make a joke about it, but be serious, does that make sense? But definitly say something.

caliotter3 · Dec 13, 2008

After you speak to her, if she doesn't get the hint, then sternly tell her that you will have to take further steps to protect yourself from her unwanted advances and be prepared to do so. Surely this person knows that she is invading your body space. I suspect that she has interests in you that you don't care to reciprocate. You don't need to be dealing with this type of behavior on the job. The same would apply if a man were doing this to you. I tell people who touch me uninvited that I've been assaulted before and if they touch me, I might react by belting them one. I can't stand to be touched, unless I know the person and see it coming. Nip this behavior in the bud or she might push the envelope later.

Batman24 · Dec 13, 2008

Is she like this with everyone?! If that isn't the case then she prob has a crush on you and you don't feel the same in return. If you are uncomfortable and want it to stop just tell her in a nice but firm way.

psalm, RN · Dec 13, 2008

"Don't touch me, I'm sterile!"

"Please, that makes me jumpy/uncomfortable".

I am a huggy type person, but I seem to know who isn't approachable...and it's not an everyday thing. Does she do this with everyone, or are you singled out? I think there's some good advice in the other posts. Let us know how this goes.

lovehospital · Dec 13, 2008

There's this woman on the unit where I've been working for 8 months, she was a new hire after I had already been there. She's just all over me. She'll do things like, when I'm standing up and charting, she'll tickle me as she walks by, without even warning me. She calls me all sorts of terms of endearment, cutesy plays on words on my name, stuff like that. It happened again the other day along with more uninvited touching. I hadn't seen anyone for a couple of weeks 'cause I've been waiting for HR to process my application, since I'm becoming an official employee now. She was just being friendly in her weird way.
I know she's just trying to be friendly, so I"m not sure if it's worth it to say anything. Yet, I'm finding I'm wanting to vent once in awhile to a buddy about how this woman is annoying me. But, if I say something to her it'll hurt her feelings and alienate her. This unit has a really good culture of acceptance and camaraderie, so I don't want to do anything to upset that.
So, what would you do?

I'm sorry but I have to ask are you of a female gender or male gender?????? :eek:

lpnflorida, LPN · Dec 13, 2008

I suppose you could try bringing up how most people's comfort zone is a 3 foot boundary around them. Explain invading one'es so called space can make them uncomfortable. It does not matter if it is male or female. Not all of us are touchy feeling kind of people.

Me, I would simply say. I do not allow nonintimates nor nonfamily members to touch me, or hug me.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2008

I'm not a huggy, touchy feely person either, and my personal space bubble is rather large. I'd be bothered by this too. My reaction would speak for itself, and the offender, unless completely clueless, would probably not do it again.

Dirkje45 · Dec 13, 2008

i'm sorry but i have to ask are you of a female gender or male gender??????

what difference does that make?

rjflyn, ASN, RN · Dec 13, 2008

For what it's worth one female can sexually harass another, and thats what this potentially could be. If told to stop and they continue it most certainly can be, then the employer could be held liable. SO no gender doesn't make a difference.

Rj

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2008

She's got a crush on you. Yup. Tell her to knock it off.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2008

This isn't sexual harassment, it's the fact that this woman is a dorky woman and she doesn't seem to know normal social behavior. I'll have to try to observe or find out if she does this with others.

She came from a nursing home, this is her first hospital job. I really try to encourage her and she seems to be doing fine. At one point she confided some things in me in the supply room, just opening up about her parents, how they were total hippies, how she used to take drugs when she was young because of coming from that type of background. Since then, she seems to want to act like we're bestest buddies. I guess in her world that means poking and tickling, plus making up nicknames for me.