Co-worker who calls me cutsie terms of endearment and pokes me a lot

[FireStarterRN]

There's this woman on the unit where I've been working for 8 months, she was a new hire after I had already been there. She's just all over me. She'll do things like, when I'm standing up and charting, she'll tickle me as she walks by, without even warning me. She calls me all sorts of terms of endearment, cutesy plays on words on my name, stuff like that. It happened again the other day along with more uninvited touching. I hadn't seen anyone for a couple of weeks 'cause I've been waiting for HR to process my application, since I'm becoming an official employee now. She was just being friendly in her weird way.

I know she's just trying to be friendly, so I"m not sure if it's worth it to say anything. Yet, I'm finding I'm wanting to vent once in awhile to a buddy about how this woman is annoying me. But, if I say something to her it'll hurt her feelings and alienate her. This unit has a really good culture of acceptance and camaraderie, so I don't want to do anything to upset that.

So, what would you do?

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Hmmm, my parents were total hippies, and I don't act like that. We even traveled around in a converted school bus....

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

There's a lot of diversity within the total hippy community, Virgo. It sounded as if this woman's parents had drug problems beyond just smoking weed.

[november17, ASN, RN]

Just tell her to stop. Say, "stop touching me...it makes me uncomfortable...I'm not a touchy feely person" or something to that effect.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Problem is, she always does this sort of hit and run, or at the nurses station in front of a bunch of people. I dunno, I'm not good at this. It's not like I want to pull her aside and make her feel like she's an idiot. She's trying really hard to be friendly and part of the group. And, this is a great, tolerant group of people!

[*LadyJane*]

Just tell her you want to talk to her privately about something, go to the supply room (or whereever you can talk privately for a couple min.) and tell her you appreciate her friendliness and wanting to be friends, but could she please tone wayyyyy down the poking, joking, etc because you don't feel comfortable being that way with your co workers.

Just tell her straight what other people would normally just get from reading body language. She may be handicapped when it comes to reading body language from others, and some borderline aspergers people are this way. Other people simply think they are dorky, but it's because they just don't see stuff that everybody else sees.

So, just spell it out kindly. You won't have any trouble after that. Just be kind because these people are used to getting excluded and alienated by most everybody....

ps. your unit sounds like a pretty nice place to work....

Jane:)

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

LadyJane, can you give me a little speech to memorize?

[*LadyJane*]

Okay, here goes,

if possible, put your hand on her forearm, as this is reassuring to people, and adds to your believability. Don't do it if it makes you really uncomfortable though.

"Bobbie, I really appreciate that you are my pal on the unit, but you know, I have to tell you, it makes me feel quite uncomfortable when you (insert behaviors here). I like being friends here on the unit, but I'd sure appreciate it if you just didn't poke me, or call me cutesy names . Please don't take this wrong, but I just feel like I need to be honest with you.... okay? Thanks for letting me get this off my chest... Iappreciate it. "

This is what I'd say.... hope it helps.

Jane :)

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

I'll print this off and memorize it, thanks!

[Atheos]

LadyJane, can you give me a little speech to memorize?

If you pull away from people obviously and quickly when they start the touching business they get the idea. OR they'll wise up and ask if touching bothers you.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

I haven't found that to be the case with some people, Stanley. Like LadyJane said, some people don't read body language very well.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

How about a simple, "Hey, stop that! I hate getting poked." when she does it.

[Atheos]

I haven't found that to be the case with some people, Stanley. Like LadyJane said, some people don't read body language very well.

That's when I escalate it. I try to be subtle (yeah, not my specialty) at first.

It get's quite obvious though. The same way you can tell that someone just touched a burning hot pan.

Then if that doesn't work I do the always 5-10 feet between us thing. As they move closer I continue to move and the only way they can get close is to surprise me or run. Heh.

Or yell 'Stop Touching ME!' LOL. Subtle right???