I'm turning 30 this month and recently got married. I'm having maternal urges like I never have before in my life!
I know this isn't the right time for us though. My husband is in school and working FT and I'll be going back to school FT starting next fall to finish my masters (NP).
Problem is, I have to work for the government (who is funding my education) for 4 years FT after school. So, that puts me at roughly 37 or 38 y/o before I don't have any full time commitments. I'm just not sure when is the best time for us to have a baby. At first I was thinking this year, before I start back to school, but the thought of having an infant and FT school (FT work and PT school for my husband) sounds impossible.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? Where/how do you fit children into life as a working woman?
It is not possible to balance both that is a myth perpretrated by militant organizations like NOW. More time at school means less time with your child or vice versa. Your child lights up when he/she sees the dayvare provider is because the child sees her as the primary caregiver.
When I got pregnant (not on purpose) I didn't have any clue how I would do it, and honestly half-believed that I would not succeed and would end up having to start the program over again the following year, but when it's something that you want you find a way.
putting your needs above that of the child is not finding a way. You already stated your breast milk has dried up due to school. Are you starting to see who is suffering from the choices that you are making?
I went off on a tangent there, but my whole point is that it is possible to have a baby and be in a really difficult school or have a baby and return to work right away.
It seems that way to you because nothing in your life is changing your child is the one that is having to put up with the lack of nurturing, breastmilk, and comfort of home. You need to look at what damage you might be doing to your child in the long run.
If your child could talk do you really think it would say it wanted to go to daycare?
Hi everyone, my name is Meredith. I just turned 22 in August and have been married to my wonderful husband for over two years. I had my baby April 26th, 2005 and I graduated on May 15! I had to make up a few clinical days so I just took boards and found out that I passed. I start work on Monday. It is an office job, M-F, 8-5, no weekends or holidays. My son, now 4 months old, will be going to a family members in home day care. I am still exclusively breast feeding and bought a hospital grade pump so I can pump for him. Pursuing a career does not make you a bad mother. As long as you find a daycare provider that will care for and nurture your baby, it is not a problem! In a perfect world, no mothers would have to work and they would stay home and raise their kids. But I am an educated woman and want to put my education to use. I could stay home, my husband makes good money, but an extra 40,000 will really help our family. I will be able to give and provide for my children beyond what I ever had as a child. I think it is a shame that people give working mothers a guilt trip. I still get to spend every night and weekend right by his side. So I say go for it girls!
Who's giving them a guilt trip? If you are having guilt problems guess what? It ain't coming from me. I am advocating for the ones who can't advocate for themselves your children. As far as I am concerned the Dad could stay at home with the child but a young child needs the nurturing of a parent full time.
Wow. Feel like I have to post so that not all us nurses in anesthesia get painted with the same brush.
No question, being a full time employee, student, and mom is exceedingly tough, but it can be done. There is a requirement for commitment on your part, but equally on your husband's part. In short, you gotta wanna. I was in my master's program when my five year old was born. Since this was a full time CRNA program, my wife had to work to support the family. The baby had to go to daycare while I was at school, and she at work.
Still, it worked. My five year old, now in kindergarten, is a happy, well adjusted kid. When we were home with her, we devoted a lot of attention to her. She has never had a moment's doubt that no matter what else, mommy and daddy love her unconditionally. Same with our other daughter, now two. My wife an I still both work. Yet when we pick up the kids at school and daycare, they still "light up" to see us. And as an added bonus, by working out butts off when they were younger, we now have to work less, yet still make more. We make sure they get lots of attention, and lots of opportunities for education, expansion of interests, and just plain fun. All because we made the decision that going to school was in their best interest.
Who's giving them a guilt trip? If you are having guilt problems guess what? It ain't coming from me. I am advocating for the ones who can't advocate for themselves your children. As far as I am concerned the Dad could stay at home with the child but a young child needs the nurturing of a parent full time.
I am not trying to start an argument, I am a Christian woman and do not want conflict. However, I do not think it is your place to tell other parents what their children need. There is nothing wrong with children going to day care as long as you find the right day care provider. A very structured daycare lets children learn and interact with other children their age, which can be very beneficial. I think that you should keep your harsh opinions to yourself. You are definately do not know everyones situation and cannot advocate for their children.
Wow. Feel like I have to post so that not all us nurses in anesthesia get painted with the same brush.
No question, being a full time employee, student, and mom is exceedingly tough, but it can be done. There is a requirement for commitment on your part, but equally on your husband's part. In short, you gotta wanna. I was in my master's program when my five year old was born. Since this was a full time CRNA program, my wife had to work to support the family. The baby had to go to daycare while I was at school, and she at work.
Still, it worked. My five year old, now in kindergarten, is a happy, well adjusted kid. When we were home with her, we devoted a lot of attention to her. She has never had a moment's doubt that no matter what else, mommy and daddy love her unconditionally. Same with our other daughter, now two. My wife an I still both work. Yet when we pick up the kids at school and daycare, they still "light up" to see us. And as an added bonus, by working out butts off when they were younger, we now have to work less, yet still make more. We make sure they get lots of attention, and lots of opportunities for education, expansion of interests, and just plain fun. All because we made the decision that going to school was in their best interest.
To the original OP (and aside from all the anger of so called advocates ) I also had the maternal instinct call at age 30-it's hard to miss. My only advice would be that sometimes not everything works out like you wish it would. If you were to encounter a fertility problem (which increases as we age past 30 and then again 35) then your time that you waited might be regrettful. Now, I know there a tons of mothers out there past 35 (my sis is one of them), and I know that problems are rare, but I would hate for you to wait until 38 and then find out that there might be a problem. The fact is, at age 30 with both parents-to-be being perfectly healthy, the chances of conception are 8% per cycle. That's without any problems. Good Luck with your decisions.
William...I'm glad you're not MY nurse. You obviously lack the true compassion for this line of work. MY children are very happy. MY children can express when they want more family time. Don't dare to speak for them or any other child for that matter.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Folks: the problem with the post that is causing a stir has been dealt with by allnurses.com staff. I would be glad to move on from this point, if possible, keeping on the original topic.
) I also had the maternal instinct call at age 30-it's hard to miss. My only advice would be that sometimes not everything works out like you wish it would. If you were to encounter a fertility problem (which increases as we age past 30 and then again 35) then your time that you waited might be regrettful. Now, I know there a tons of mothers out there past 35 (my sis is one of them), and I know that problems are rare, but I would hate for you to wait until 38 and then find out that there might be a problem. The fact is, at age 30 with both parents-to-be being perfectly healthy, the chances of conception are 8% per cycle. That's without any problems. Good Luck with your decisions.
smk1, LPN
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