Caring for a neighbor?

[antesignani]

Howdy!

My moms neighbor knows I'm ED RN, and i was recently approached by her to care for her husband while she is out of town for 5 days. I said i would be happy to help, but then she started listing off the things i would be doing for him. The gentleman has multiple co-morbidities, is a very high fall risk, and will require a decent amount of attention. The care part i can handle, it just seems like a HUGE liability on me to be doing this kind of care outside of my facility, if god forbid, something bad were to happen. My nursing judgement is just telling me that this is all around not a good situation to put myself in.

What do you all think? I'd appreciate any input!

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

Your nursing instincts are correct. If you do agree to this, you need to agree upon payments, exactly what your role is, what you are able to provide, and what times you are available. Be very clear, have a contract with details of who is responsible for what.

You need to make clear that you are not going to be serving in the role of a 24/7 care provider.

If she just wants someone to check on him, give times that you would do it along with what is expected on their part. It could be very easy for a family to see you coming and then walk out of the house because the "nurse is there". I would not be comfortable working shifts as a home health nurse. What would your hours be? How would you be paid? WHo would you report off to, document medication administration, assessments,. Are you trained on all of his equipment?

I think it would be different if you were doing a wellcheck for 30 minutes versus an entire day.

[Wlaurie, RN]

I would probably give her the names of home health agencies in the area. Tell her that with liability issues and such you really can't act as a nurse outside of the facility where you work. Based on my previous experiences, mixing business with family or friends can be a recipe for disaster.

[Thanksforthedonuts, BSN, RN]

From experience, families are nice.... until they’re not nice and start going crazy on you! Especially with family members who are totally out sync or naive/ignorant of truly how much help their loved one needs. Do you have any residential care homes in your area? In Washington state we call them Adult Family Hones (AFH) and in Oregon they are called adult foster homes. They typically provide respite care at a MUCH more reasonable cost than commercial facilities.

[MunoRN, RN]

If you're receiving any sort of compensation for 'helping out' then that opens a whole world of liability that it would be wise to avoid.

Typically, home health / visiting nurse services offer respite care or short term options for care in the home. Some nursing homes are also willing to take short term patients for this very situation.

[beckysue920]

What did you decide to do? Hope it worked out for the best for everyone!

[RevelationDark]

As long as she isn’t paying you I think it’s okay?

[antesignani, ADN]

On 10/19/2019 at 11:12 AM, beckysue920 said:

What did you decide to do? Hope it worked out for the best for everyone!

I backed out politely. I felt bad for offering before thinking of the implications this would have.

[antesignani, ADN]

1 hour ago, RevelationDark said:

As long as she isn’t paying you I think it’s okay?

Yeah she wanted to pay me

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, antesignani said:

I backed out politely. I felt bad for offering before thinking of the implications this would have.

I think you made the right decision. Sometimes as nurses we think with our hearts first and want to be the helper. It is hard especially when it is someone we know or our family knows and doesn't quite understand the implications.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

If you are an RN, you can be held to the standard of an RN. Good Samaritan laws protect you somewhat, as long as you are volunteering and as long as you act in the way a reasonably prudent RN would act. If you don't act the way a reasonably prudent RN would act in a particular situation, I think you are on your own.

I don't care if the person you are caring for is your twin - anyone who thinks he/she is harmed could turn on you if angry enough.

Just curious - are you working? How do you have time to care for anyone outside of your job?

What did your Mom's friend wind up doing about care for her husband? I am glad you turned it down. It wasn't clear to me how much or what type of care she was wanting. But it sounds like the man needed someone present 24/7.

[caliotter3]

3 hours ago, antesignani said:

Yeah she wanted to pay me

When someone approached me to do private duty one time I stopped the discussion cold in its tracks simply by stating matter of factly what hourly rate I would charge. They just looked at me. Guess they expected someone to work for nothing! Easiest time I ever squeezed out of something I didn’t want to do in the first place.