why do you care if a student misses class?

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Just trying to understand why some of my classmates are so upset about a student who's been missing class. To me it just seems like it's none of their business and has no effect on them, but maybe I'm missing something.... This student has missed probably 7 class days in our almost year long program. She's on the high end of absences for the class, but not about to go over the allowed amount. She has three small kids under 5, her youngest was under 4mo when she started. She also had to have an emergency gall bladder removal a couple months ago and took a week long medical absence. She wanted to come back to class sooner than a week, but the nursing director told her she had to take the full week, or she would forefeit it (I don't know why). Anyway, she came in one morning and went to speak with one of our instructors and several students just went off about how she shouldnt' be in the program and she should have been kicked out, etc... I just was so shocked because I have a lot of respect for her because she had good grades and has a TON on her plate right now. Also, they were having financial trouble and had to move in with her sister during all this.

She's a friend, so obviously I am on her side, but I just don't understand why other students are so hostile about it? Why do they care if she's not in class. They can skip if they wanted to (and I don't think she's just skipping anyway). She hasn't missed any group papers or projects, she's the only one sitting for her NCLEX, so I just don't get it. What am I missing?

Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.
tending to their own business is too adult-like for these students. they prefer to project their own insecurities and hostilities on someone else who has done nothing to warrant their undue interest.

i completely agree!!!! i have a few of those nosy nancies in my class that always have something to say about the ppl that are absent alot or are not giving their 100% complete undivided attention 100% of the time... i come to learn that in my situation, those are the same ppl that "just dont get it" when it comes down to the material, and take twice as long as those that arent always there to understand the material.. that is nobody's problem but your own - if you are in class every single day and things just arent clicking, that should tell you something about your own thinking process! you should spend more time on that issue then what is going on with other ppl.. and for those who go to class/clinicals everyday and getting good grades, then :yeah: you're doing your job!!! end of job description!!! stop worrying about things that dont concern/affect you. after all when you signed up for school, it was your name and your name alone on those loan applications - not yours and 5 other classmates!... :idea: point and case: mind your business!!!!!

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but see that's the thing: school says you can miss x number of days, my friend has NOT missed x number of days, so what difference does it make? They are not bending or breaking the rules for her, she's within the rules. She's passing the classes, not asking for people's notes, or asking dumb questions. I actually don't think I've ever heard her ask a question in class.

Oh, well. I guess this is just the nature of the beast. Now that we're in clinicals 3x a week I don't have to deal with these people much anyway. I just hate negativity and bickering. These two or three people have completely changed the 'vibe' of class from everyone working toward the same goal, to super competitive and ugly. It's disappointing because the class was a lot of fun before this. Thanks for all the viewpoints!

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i have to admit that the people who were always MIA made me annoyed, because the school policy said that you can miss 1 lecture and 1 clinical a term, and there were students who would be out 5 or more times, no one cared... but when i was in the hospital and missed a clinical day, i had to come in on a sunday and workn 7am-7pm at the nursing home to make it up. when i worked full time, then went to class and busted my tail to get good grades, it made me upset to see people do whatever they wanted and then whine when they failed tests or were missing notes.

i just think rules should be accross the board... if you enforce for one person, do it for everyone...

Usually I agree with this - but I'm also a recipient of the "life happens" clause - when I was in school, my twenty-eight year old nephew, a father of four, died suddenly and unexpectedly (in my brother's front yard, as if the death weren't bad enough already). I called my instructors and they allowed me leave to go to Memphis for the funeral; I just had to make the days up before the end of the semester.

Now, my grades were excellent and I was far from a problem, but they could have easily said 'No', and that would have been it. Which would have really stunk for my mom, since I was the one who took her to her oldest grandson's funeral.

Other than that - how much other people are out is none of my business. Because at some point - they will definitely cease to "get by".

There were a couple of them in my class - and at least one of them failed the NCLEX their first time around.

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but see that's the thing: school says you can miss x number of days, my friend has NOT missed x number of days, so what difference does it make? They are not bending or breaking the rules for her, she's within the rules. She's passing the classes, not asking for people's notes, or asking dumb questions. I actually don't think I've ever heard her ask a question in class.

Oh, well. I guess this is just the nature of the beast. Now that we're in clinicals 3x a week I don't have to deal with these people much anyway. I just hate negativity and bickering. These two or three people have completely changed the 'vibe' of class from everyone working toward the same goal, to super competitive and ugly. It's disappointing because the class was a lot of fun before this. Thanks for all the viewpoints!

The best way to handle this is to cease to make it an issue for yourself - by ignoring the lack of maturity and professionalism in your classmates.

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Why do they care? Because a group full of women in a competitive environment leads to being in everyone's business but their own in order to build themselves up by tearing others down.

Its catty. Its sad. But unfortunately, its going to happen pretty much anywhere.

Personally, I could care less what anyone other than I do, beyond cheering on those that I like to make it past the next test/assignment/etc.

Lol so true. As a male I expected my nursing program to be polite and civil since most of the student are females, zomg, I have never head more gossip, vindictiveness, cattiness, etc in my whole bleeping life. :bugeyes:

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Lol so true. As a male I expected my nursing program to be polite and civil since most of the student are females, zomg, I have never head more gossip, vindictiveness, cattiness, etc in my whole bleeping life. :bugeyes:

haha, I once heard a quote that goes something like, "the only area them men are more competitive in than women is sports" hands down, we compete about every stinkin' thing! I never really experienced it until I got pg, and the I was introduced to the whole "mommy wars" thing and it's just craziness :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

I have been pregnant 4 times, what is the mommy wars thing?? Men can absolutely get just as catty as woman. I have seen it first hand many times on the message boards my husband is part of that is 99% male.

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I have been pregnant 4 times, what is the mommy wars thing?? Men can absolutely get just as catty as woman. I have seen it first hand many times on the message boards my husband is part of that is 99% male.

Not to turn it into a male versus female thing, i dont fall into gender stereotypes cuzz im gay, but im sorry...I have never seen discord amongst students like this until I got into a nursing program with 95% women.

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Psych.

Other students missing class doesn't bother or concern me UNLESS you feel the need to feed me and everyone else within earshot a line of bull about why you are gone every other day. There is a girl in my program that has story after story about all the crazy things that have happened to prevent her from coming to class, and when she returns she is compelled to lay all her tall tales on me. THAT annoys me to no end, honestly. She cannot keep her story straight, so her lies are obvious and ridiculous. If you're going to miss class on a consistant basis, then that is your business and your problem. It becomes MY problem when you insult my intelligence with your lies and try to get me to satisfy your endless need for attention.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Not to turn it into a male versus female thing, i dont fall into gender stereotypes cuzz im gay, but im sorry...I have never seen discord amongst students like this until I got into a nursing program with 95% women.

Don't get me wrong, absolutely their is all kinds of drama with woman, I worked in childcare where it was 100% woman, their was not one man worked in any of them I worked at.

I am saying though, I have been in majority male environments before as well and seen it get just as bad, just in a different mannerism than woman but just as catty all the same. Shoot my best friend who is a guy and gay and a surgical technician has more drama always going on then I have ever seen and I have had lots of drama going on.

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Specializes in Telemetry.

hmmm..I do not care who wants to miss class, however, when a nursing student miss class please do not call me to help you with your assignments. I have no time for that crap! There are some students who do not taking nursing college seriously and yet they want to pass all the class by being academic moochers. I have seen it and experienced it but now I have learned not to help them with their work because if I do not understand something I cannot ask them since they do not know anything. I am so tired of those students. You have another group that pretends to know and when it comes to test time they are scrambling to get your notes. I cannot wait to be done with school, I am so tired of those jokers.

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I missed as many days as I could get away with. The only thing I never missed was clinical because my school would drop you for missing more than two and you had to pay to make up if you had less than two absences. The reason I missed so much was because the majority of my professors couldn't teach to save their lives and I got more out of studying at home than I ever did from most of the lectures. Most of my professors just read off of power point slides or straight from the textbook. They had no skill at breaking down information and explaining it in terms a novice could understand. I could never understand why most of my classmates complained endlessly about the suckiness of the teaching but would dutifully show up to every class. I always went according to the syllabus and we used blackboard for our assignments so it wasn't like I had to ask them for anything anyway. I don't know why they would get their panties in a knot about it but I went to school with some of the cattiest PITAs that you could find.

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