how can i better handle this situation

[danlee]

OK I think i messed up

I was given a test situation in clinical a hostile environment

When we first started the clinical med surgery rotation the other female students were very rude to me.they said the f word to me.made fun of me when together .a lot of put downs. When I asked for assistance on transfer etc they gave me s blank stare or said they were busy. Since I'm 49 I just ignored them..but throughout the clinical there behaviour escalated. I walked away and kept my distance..but everyone they approached the behaviour would intensify.

At the same time I got along well with my teacher but frequently saw her..I only did 2 gluc checks with her .she had the accucheck set up .I poked

I also had some difficulties with the nursing staff .the staff were not helpful.but I can understand since they are busy

At one point I had a discussion with the teacher.she was pleased that I was figuring it out and starting to understand the nursing process. I told her about the girls etc

After the meeting the girls would laugh at me in my other classes..and some of the other non clinical ladies would say waaah waash and laugh

So I'm wondering how can I deal with it better so I can get the support I need to pass these tests of being in this type of environment

I found the experience so stressful that I continually left class to get away from these students

Up till clinical I had all A marks and got along with everyone

[kp1987]

What cows!

Honestly being mature and removing yourself from situations I think was smart, but missing class because of them would be upsetting. Do you feel you could say something to them? Or do you have an instructor you trust you could talk to it about. It's bullying and that's wrong. Most schools have no bullying policies maybe you can report them. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Stay strong! And remember why you are there! To learn and be a good nurse!

[Baubo516, RN]

I am an older nursing student, and I think it is horrible what these girls are doing. It sounds like junior high or high school behavior. I used to be a teacher, and the first thing you are supposed to do with a bully is to ask them to stop. This may be difficult to do, but at least once, try to tell them that their behavior is bothering you. After that, I would next go to your instructors. Be factual - just tell exactly what they are doing, including the words they are using. It may help your case if you write down (document) the things as they happen, but I understand that you may not have time while you are in clinical. Also, do not allow them to force you out of your lecture/theory classes - your grades will suffer if you leave class, not theirs. I would advise just sitting far away from them in the classroom and not even looking at them. If you sit in the front of the room, you will hear the instructor better and not have to look at these girls. If you think it would bother you to have them behind you, you could sit in the back of the room where they cannot see you... but then you will have to see them.

It sounds like you are handling things like a mature adult. They are showing that they are immature, unkind, unprofessional people. Definitely talk to each instructor whose class is being affected by their behavior. Hopefully they will get some reprimands or something. If your instructor does nothing, then go up the chain of command to their supervisor, or to the dean of your nursing school. You may also want to see if your school has some counselling services that can help you, or a policy for dealing with bullies or discrimination.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Nursing school is hard enough with supportive classmates. Keep your head up! Let us know how you proceed!

[Baubo516, RN]

I just re-read your post and had another thought about it. It may be important to stand up for yourself to these girls. Don't allow them to see emotion, but firmly tell them whenever they act inappropriately that they are being disrespectful and you will not accept that kind of treatment. Read up on being assertive (not aggressive) and put these techniques into practice. I think people should never act like jerks, but for some reason it seems to happen a lot in a medical environment, and we are expected to learn to stand up to these kinds of people. I have heard that sometime if you stand up to them, they will quit picking on you.

OK - enough advice! Sending you supportive thoughts!

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

It is difficult when you are an "older" student, and some of the others in your class are much younger--and in this case highly immature. I can't believe these are clinical nursing students!!

If you have a good relationship with the teacher, ask what "rules" clinical behavior falls under. I know that most clinicals are very strict in rules ie: what you wear, how one is to behave, some down to how one is to wear their hair and such. Ask if at one of your meetings (and I am assuming that all students and the teacher have a meeting before a shift, after a shift, etc.) that the teacher discusses ALL of the rules, including how one is to conduct themselves.

I hate to say it, but the TEACHER needs to take responsibility for this, and be firm in that should anyone not conduct themselves in a professional manner, they will not be allowed to be in the clinical arena. Period, end of story. Clincals are so hard to get into for a number of students, that these people are wasting valuable time and energy best spent on learning by students who are eager to be nurses. This is a sad statement on what nursing schools are looking the other way on, and these people are going to become who takes care of patients in a short amount of time. Sad. I get that by you saying "stop" yourself, it could come back to bite you.

Finally, go to your academic advisor and ask that you be placed in an alternate clincal class. The school itself I am sure has an anti-bullying policy. You are paying MONEY to attend a school that your expectation would be to be free from harrassment.

How did you mess up? That you are leaving clinical to get away from the harrassers? This is NOT your issue. It is for the teacher to nip in the bud, or you need to go up the chain of command. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR on THEIR part.

Best of Luck and let us know how it goes!

[Horsebytes]

I read your post a couple of times and didn't really understand everything you tried to describe. I can understand that you are probably twice the age of a lot of your nursing classmates and they are bullying you!

I experienced much the same in similar situations during my nursing school experience. It is hard enough to get through nursing school but to be excluded, whispered about, giggled at, have other students roll their eyes when you ask a question, etc is par for the course. It is immaturity on their part and they really don't know how hurtful their actions are. (I hope they don't because if they do understand how hurtful their actions are - then shame on them!) To be excluded and joked about just because of ___your age or insert your difference here____ is wrong but it's going to happen!

You will find ways to cope and hopefully a friend or two that you can talk to to help you get through school. Being more mature than a lot of your classmates will give you an advantage in many ways, like having true empathy! I wish you all the best!

[toomuchbaloney]

I would document the inappropriate behavior in writing and submit it to the Dean and provide a copy to the clinical instructor who is directly responsible for supervising the student conduct.

[danlee]

thx there is so much more. I went up the line to the president of the school and was kicked out for being unprofessional. the head of the department wasn't happy. I was called mentally ill, something wrong with me, forced to sign papers etc. At one point i got super ****** at them and said i would fix it. I then laid out a detailed plan in writing and apologized for my reactions. I also called the main combatant to meetings to resolve there hostility. its a long frustrating story but i have decided to move on from that school.

i asked why the students were this way. many students said when females are together they are mean etc.

but reading and looking back i think i missed a lot of sign of hostility towards males. the signs are subtle but i totally missed them and in fact aggravated them by confronting the students, teachers and department heads. I also feel that i give iam an easy target vibes. my second clinical instructor said i should stand up for myself too. But i told her i don't want to get kicked out so i keep quiet.

thx iam finding the feedback totally helpful. I hope by reading posts and learning about my own triggers etc. that i will be able to handle these situations much better cause i don't want to get distracted from providing good patient care

[danlee]

thx i will stand up for myself. i just have to find positive ways to do so.

so i will continue to read about assertiveness till i get back to school

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Late on this, but you have aggravated your fellow students.. in some manner.

Perhaps it was calling them "girls".

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

thx i will stand up for myself. i just have to find positive ways to do so.

so i will continue to read about assertiveness till i get back to school

I am not sure assertiveness is your issue....I think from what you have posted your assertiveness is seen as aggression. I really think you need to talk with a professional to help you sift through these occurrences to get the best advice on how to best learn how to improve your communication skills.