Can you believe this? 13yo and mom both pregnant

cabbage patch rn · Jun 12, 2004

I think maybe you misunderstood me. I wasn't talking about your situation specifically. Just the problem as a whole.

LydiaNN · Jun 13, 2004

A girl in our eighth grade class quit school to have a baby, and a friend of mine ran into her once, with her daughter, and they were pregnant together! That must happen a fair amount with these girls who have babies so young. How old was the soon to be grandma?

nekhismom · Jun 13, 2004

I had a few 13 and 14 y/o pts. during my short trial in L&D. I was always shocked that the girls were so young. But even MORE shocked that the moms were HAPPY about their teenage girls being pregnant!!! They welcomed the new grandkid happily, with open arms! :eek I will NEVER get over that.

MrsCannibal · Jun 13, 2004

My best friend got pregnant the summer of '82, between our 6th and 7th grade year in school. She was a 'nice' girl from a 'good' family, but her mom was so giddy about the pregnancy, and was constantly showing off my friends' tiny belly, and dressing my friend up in cute maternity clothes (as if those really existed in 1982). It was enough to freak me out and scare me more than any film or lecture they showed us in health class.

angel337, MSN, RN · Jun 13, 2004

Hi I'm new. :) Just wanted to say that this is soooo commmon where I work, actually in our area (rural south). It is so very sad, makes me very nervous for what the future holds for my own children. Do you think it's more of a demographic problem, or a socio-economic one? Just curious to know what your thoughts are.

yes, to a degree it has alot to do with socioeconomic status. people often follow a pattern that goes through generations until someone breaks the cycle. i know grandmothers who are in their early forties with children and grandchildren that are in their early thirties and late twenties. alot of these women are poor and single and unfortunately this is the kind of behavior that they have seen all their lives and it is hard to teach them that they have the control to have a better quality of life. i once worked in a clinic that served low income women/families and the things i learned about people were astonishing. there was a 14 year old that had one child by her uncle and was pregnant with the second. another girl was only 17 with three children...she truly was naive, she had no family support (mother on drugs, father missing..)and all she knew was the guy that claimed to love her forever, just to discover that he had 5 OTHER children with several women. these girls made repeated visits to the clinic for std's, domestic battery.. the list goes on. i thank god everyday for my parents. they were not perfect but they protected me and they taught me how to take care of myself. i pray for those that are less fortunate and whenever i come in contact with young girls that i know are struggling with self esteem issues i try to be an example and mentor for them if they are willing to receive it.

nurseunderwater · Jun 13, 2004

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

cabbage patch rn · Jun 13, 2004

I had a few 13 and 14 y/o pts. during my short trial in L&D. I was always shocked that the girls were so young. But even MORE shocked that the moms were HAPPY about their teenage girls being pregnant!!! They welcomed the new grandkid happily, with open arms! :eek I will NEVER get over that.

On the other hand, it can be really bad when the parents of the teenagers are angry or unaccepting, especially when the teens involved are trying to be mature and take responsibilty for their actions. About a month ago, I had a young mom, I think she was 14 or 15. Anyway, her mom was fine with it, she had actually had her at a very young age as well. But the boy's mom (who I went to school with) :eek: would not even come to the hospital, and had already told him that she would have no part in this child's life. I asked him if his mom was okay with the baby since I knew them, and he said she had done everything short of kicking him out. Her rationale behind all of this was she was too young to be a grandmother. :rolleyes: The boy was around 17, and he really was mature for his age and very protective of his girlfriend and the baby. I'm not saying that they were by any means ready to have a child, but you have to admire some of these kids for stepping up. There are so many young fathers that would flee in a heartbeat having found out their girlfriend was pregnant. You can't really blame them either, it's a very scary proposition, starting a family before you're even out of high school. I really felt bad for him because the only one that was there from his family to support him was his grandmother. This was such an uncomfortable situation to be in as a nurse due to all of the family dynamics, it's never easy, but if I had my rathers I would hope that the family could at least be accepting of their kids' decision to have the baby...I mean, at 9 months the deed has been done, the mistake was made so you might as well be happy about it. Being negative only makes a bad situation that much worse.

As far as the woman who bought all the cutesy maternity clothes for her pregnant daughter and showed off her belly and such, well that makes me want to puke. Give her a pat on the head so that she can be right back in the same shape before a years up. That is ridiculous. :mad:

LydiaNN · Jun 13, 2004

I had a few 13 and 14 y/o pts. during my short trial in L&D. I was always shocked that the girls were so young. But even MORE shocked that the moms were HAPPY about their teenage girls being pregnant!!! They welcomed the new grandkid happily, with open arms! :eek I will NEVER get over that.

I have a friend who was devastated when her daughter got pregnant, but she still was ecstatic when the baby was born. She would have chosen to wait about ten more years to become a grandma, but it isn't fair to take it out on the baby. That baby has two sets of loving grandparents, neither of whom wanted to be in this position right now, but both of whom regard their grandchild as a blessing nonetheless. Dad, on the other hand, took a powder shortly after the pregnancy was confirmed.

Dayray, RN · Jun 14, 2004

As a former teen parent, I have to agree that it would be much better to have the parent happy then to have them angry.

Sometimes we get parents that won't let their daughters have pain medicine because they are angry. Sometimes they are so angry they ruin their children's lives as punishment. I've seen them make the daughter give up the baby, get an abortion, drop out of school, brake all contact with the father and just about any other hurtful thing you can think of, all because they are so angry.

As for the question of this as a socio-economic problem. Yes and no.

Well mostly yes. Poor people tend to have children younger. It's a cycle, the parents become parents before they are ready so the children grow up in a troubled home (by troubled I don't necessarily mean abusive or neglectful), then they go out looking for what ever they missed out on at home and end up pregnant or getting someone pregnant and the cycle starts again.

A little bit no, because very well to do families have similar problems. The kids go out seeking what ever they missed and end up pregnant. The difference comes in because in those well to do families the kids are pressured to get an education and become respectable. Those kids are more likely to have an abortion or to drown their problems in drugs and alcohol well maintaining the illusion that they are well to to do and happy thus living up to the standards set for them and perpetuating another cycle (all be it less visible).

What ever the case teen pregnancy is both a cause and effect. It's not pleasant but a child is a gift and should not be looked at as a tragedy or greeted with anger. When you see these patients please restrain your feelings of frustration and treat them well. They are not as self assured or willful as they appear to be. They arew in fact very fragile and in need of your help. They are also very easy to redirct and point them in the right direction.

Teen pregnancy is a strong indication that something is wrong in the home. As nurses we can help these patients by not judging them but by kindly pointing them in the right direction. So many of these girls will ask you about nursing as a career if you give them the opportunity. Heck maybe they wont be nurses but maybe they will go to college, anything instead of having another baby. Also I have had many of theses patients tell me that I was the first person to ever be nice to them without expecting something in return (which breaks my heart).

For some becoming pregnant is the only thing that they were ever able to be proud of. I'm not saying that being a teen parent is something to be proud of just that a little kindness can help them to see that they are worth something and more then a "baby machine".

If you have to direct your feeling of frustration at someone direct it at their parents. Most of the time the parents are more child like then the teen mothers.

CHATSDALE · Jun 14, 2004

Please Don't Run Down The South....i Know For A Fact That The Same Situation Happens All Over And I Get So Mad That Ignorant Jokes Are Leveled At Southern States

KibbsRNstudent · Jun 14, 2004

I think maybe you misunderstood me. I wasn't talking about your situation specifically. Just the problem as a whole.

Oh:imbar Sorry, I was having a bad night. Forgive me. :)

mother/babyRN, RN · Jun 16, 2004

This is not as common as it used to be in the area I am in but I have to say my youngest preggo pt/mom combo was 14 and 28 respectively...Imagine being older at age 32, as I was then, than the perspective grandmother. When I was pregnant with my last baby, my pregnant patient at age 18 was younger than my oldest son and I was older than both of her parents..( I was 43 and they were not yet 37)...Freaked everyone out....But, it was enough distraction so that everyone paid attention....Have to say my weirdest labor experience thus far ( and there have been many) were identical twins in labor by the same guy.....