Calling patients by "pet" names.

[dbabz]

Does this bother anyone else? I'm a student and during clinicals I've often heard young male nurses, techs, and patient transport personnel address women who are old enough to be their mothers (or grandmothers) as "dear", "my dear", "honey."

Coming from the securities industry, I find this unprofessional and enormously disrespectful. In fact, I believe that patients should be addressed as "Mr." or "Mrs." unless instructed by the patient or family to use a first name or nickname.

Am I just being overly fussy? If not, how should I handle it in the future? I wouldn't say anything now, as a student, but it's so prevalent that I'm sure I'll encounter it when I'm fully employed.

[Possum_RN]

Yeah, as others have said, down in the South, it's a completely different culture. I've discussed it with travel nurses from up north, and it's a big culture shock.

I've always been a bit reserved, and would NEVER call anyone but a boyfriend by a pet name...until I started working in LTC. But everyone there calls the residents "dear" and "sweetie" - it's almost impossible not to pick it up. To my horror, it began just popping out!

I went to acute care about a year ago, and I'm still trying to re-train myself. No patient has ever corrected me for calling them by a pet name, and many of my coworkers use the terms, but it still bothers me.

I believe that as a worker in a "service" job, I should show respect to the patients. I try to call even patients who are younger than me my "sir" or "ma'am", if I don't remember their name to address them as "Mr.___" or "Mrs.___".

I just know personally, it would bother me if my nurse called me sweetie....but not enough to mention it. But the prevailing opinion seems to be different.

[Toadette, MSN, RN]

Personally, pet names drive me crazy. When people use pet names it seems disingenuous, demeaning, and rude.

So, I normally ask my patients or their family what their preferred name is because this is how I would like to be treated in a similar situation.

[Sbhayes09, ADN, RN]

I feel the same as NurseDisneyPrincess. I'm also from the South and although we were taught in our CNA class to avoid terms of endearment with patients, I have a hard time controlling it. I used to be a waitress and even then I used those terms. Most people in the South would respond basically the same way but, if you come across someone from a different area, they usually react differently.

[gettingbsn2msn, MSN, RN]

I'm in the South and we call everybody by pet names. It's normal here. I think it ads comfort.

[Bonnieparker22]

I find it condescending and offensive. I absolutely hate being called "Hun", it really sets my teeth on edge. I am a grown woman and I have a name. In a professional setting I am not your Hun. The thing of it is- not everyone will tell you when it bothers them. Some people just grin and bear it. So I guarantee those of you who do it often have offended someone without knowing it! I usually don't say anything because I think people mean well but I still think it's rude.

[nehneh14]

We were trained explicitly that you NEVER address a pt. with pet names. Always Mrs., Mr. or first name (with permission). Being overheard calling anyone honey, sweetie etc. was a major no-no. Aside from that, infantilizing adults is really condescending and disrespectful.

[jdub6]

I find it condescending and offensive. I absolutely hate being called "Hun", it really sets my teeth on edge. I am a grown woman and I have a name. In a professional setting I am not your Hun. The thing of it is- not everyone will tell you when it bothers them. Some people just grin and bear it. So I guarantee those of you who do it often have offended someone without knowing it! I usually don't say anything because I think people mean well but I still think it's rude.

I've done it. I'm sure i have offended some. I've also had plenty of patients ask not to be called by first name, not to be called Mrs/Mr (pt is 96-"Mr Smith was my father!") and I think by far the most common one people take issue with is Sir/Ma'am.

I am white, from the North, was raised and always lived where overt racism was never tolerated. It never occurred to me that titles could be a race issue until a black female patient-slightly confused-got EXTREMELY offended thinking my calling her Ms X was a name used for servants. She demanded another nurse and be called by first name only.

As a patient myself in my 20s I found Ms/Ma'am uncomfortably formal and, from the nurses who were my age and friendly and especially those who'd been with me multiple shifts it felt scripted. I was never upset enough to raise it but gratefully accepted "can i just call you First Name?" On the other hand I frequently have patients older than I refer to me as honey/dear/sweetie/love. With nice patients I don't mind, with obnoxious patients its grating.

There is no title that will please or offend or not offend everyone and it all depends on the relationship also. As the OP was in LTC there is a level of familiarity there that is not always present in other settings (then again e everywhere has frequent fliers whose relationship with staff is different than other patients).

[OyWithThePoodles, RN]

I'm from the south. Everyone is "hun". At the hospital I will call some patients this, but only after I have "felt them out" to see if it would be appropriate.

In the school most of my kiddos are babe, bud, or hun. But they are "my" kids.

[NICUmiiki, DNP, NP]

I called a patient potato all weekend. Just keeping y'all updated.

[jodispamodi]

I always ask my patients what they would like me to call them, if they have dementia I resort to mr/mrs. I actually try to avoid using first names and or informal names unless they request me to.

[wondern, ASN]

I call my patients all kinds of pet names like stinky butt, fussy pants, peanut, pumpkin, etc. They NEVER complain.

Love it! I used to call some of my patients sweet things, precious love bugs, lil' fuzz busters, and angel faces...:)

[wondern, ASN]

I called a patient potato all weekend. Just keeping y'all updated.

a little sweet potato?

You say potato.~ I say potato. ~

I think it's a regional thing and also depends so much on the tone. Some people make pet names sound so sweet and some can use it snarkily. If used in love and respect I like it.

Kind of like yes sir and yes ma'am to elders was respectful growing up in the south but in when used in the midwest was looked upon as being kind of smart alecky.