Calling all nurses: Enough with the high-velocity urination contest!

[CheesePotato, BSN, RN]

Can we please call for a ceasefire on the "real" nursing bull crap? May we all come to an agreement that all nurses are "real" nurses?

I just talked to an office nurse about a diagnostic exam result and she seemed pretty damn real to me. (Couldn't have been Siri. She has a restraining order against me.) The LPN that helped me resuscitate that patient in the ED this early morning also seemed pretty real--though I will admit I was tired. Perhaps a figment of my imagination?

Can we please, for one moment, acknowledge that each specialty has its unique subset of skills and that it takes nursing knowledge and competency to execute them? That it is all integral and we influence and function as a whole in some way or another?

Can we incorporate language such as "acute care", "hospital based", etc into our day to day as opposed to "real"?

And for the record, I have yet to encounter a nurse anywhere who "only charts".

For once, can we lay to rest the inane phrase, "I could nurse circles around you?' and acknowledge it as the idiocy it is? What, is there Nursing Olympics that I'm not aware of? Are there time trials on setting up and zeroing ART lines or balancing an EVD? From what running start can you start an IV? Instead of curling is there vomit mopping? The C-dif long jump? The rectal thermometer relay?

I am calling for an end to the hair pulling, the sand kicking, and downplaying of nursing roles no matter what they may be.

I say the only high-velocity urination contest in nursing should involve a cystoscopy or two inebriated male nurses outside a bar writing their names in the snow.

Rawr.

~~CP~~

P.S.

Forgive my rant, but some days some of the things I stumble across on this site make me want to punch a sea cucumber and its hideous mama right in their smug squelchy faces.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

Can we still pick on MA's? No? Okay.

[WoosahRN, MSN, RN]

P.S. Forgive my rant but some days some of the things I stumble across on this site make me want to punch a sea cucumber and its hideous mama right in their smug squelchy faces.[/quote']

Hahaha! Punch a sea cucumber!

Nursing Olympics would be cutthroat. Quite possibly literally. So many drugs and sharp, pointy things.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

CheesePotato, OR charge nurse extraordinaire, resuscitated a patient in the ED today?

Fabulous!

[document]

You gave me some real good ideas for the Nursing Olympics!!!!! How hilarious would THAT be....a whole city of nurses, all going out to dinner together, clearing out the restaurants with their "shop talk"????

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

It's not the velocity, it's the distance that counts.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

You gave me some real good ideas for the Nursing Olympics!!!!! How hilarious would THAT be....a whole city of nurses, all going out to dinner together, clearing out the restaurants with their "shop talk"????

Ohh this would be fun! Just think of the competitions we could come up with!!!

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

I want to see/taste a strawberry cheesecake meringue. Never heard of it before.

[nynursey_]

I asked to do a nursing olympics once as a fundraiser for our SNA. I thought utilizing the mannequins for procedural competitions would go over pretty well and give the instructors a laugh.

No one agreed.

[naptimeRN]

Ummmm, I love everything about this post. And anyone who can incorporate a sea cucumber into a totally reasonable rant is A+++ by my standards :yes:Great post!!

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

These are my proposed Nurse Olympic events

- The Albumin Run. Who can run their albumin the fastest? Provide that beloved golden nectar with the smoothest path from bottle to patient, with grace and aplomb.

- The Bedside Report Synchronized Swim. Slice through the choppy waters of euphemism and privacy. Keep afloat amid questions and interruptions. Leave your audience stunned by such elegant teamwork. Swimcaps not required.

- The Primary-Specialist Table Tennis Event. Watch as the primary and consulting doctors ping pong your concerns in this thrilling event. Who will finally answer your question? Who will finally give an order for Ativan? Ooh, the suspense!

(Tongue firmly in cheek )

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

Ohh this would be fun! Just think of the competitions we could come up with!!!

Yep, totally agree. I think we should hold an AN Olympic event somewhere. Would LOVE to meet you guys. Might cause some box-wine shortage (or maybe those diabetic-coma-in-a-glass things, those sounded good), but man, what a ride it would be!!