Breastfeeding at 2 1/2 years???

Josifek · Jan 27, 2006

Before my wife and I got married and had children I used to think that women who breastfed this long were odd to say the least. As time went by, however, and we had children who were all breastfed, I really couldn't see anything wrong with breastfeeding into the toddler years (my kids have all weaned themselves around the age of 2-2 1/2). I think that my original problem with this practice of late breastfeeding was that I saw the breast as some type of sex toy. After four kids in six years time my view of the female breast has completely changed to the point that, even though due to religious beliefs we practice veiling (no burkas, just a head covering, long seleves, long skirts) I have no problem with the breast exposed for feeding. Just my experience though. I realise each one moves at his own pace with such issues.

L&Dnurse2Be · Jan 27, 2006

I nursed my kiddos until they stopped. My first was at 8 weeks, 2nd at 18 months, and 3rd at 16 months. I would have preferred to nurse longer, but as was said, you cannot force a child to nurse! I stand by my decision to nurse. Out of my 3, only one has had an ear infection. Just one! I was never the mom who just whipped it out wherever I was although I would nurse in public, no one ever knew I was doing it though! I support any one who nurses, no matter how old the child. It gets harder for me to understand as the child gets older, but it is a personal choice between mom and child. I never judge! Oh, and I love the comment on the "t-bones strapped to your bottom going into the lion's den"! That's a great analogy!

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Jan 27, 2006

My dd just turned 4 years old and is still nursing! Of course at this age she nurses only for about 1 min a day. You can't force a child to breastfeed....the thought of that makes me laugh.

WHO recommends a *minimum* of 2 years and the AAP states a year or longer.

People just get freaked out about the breasts, have NO CLUE about breastfeeding (and that includes men and women), etc Sorry but I am very passionate about this :)

Here are some links for more education about nursing toddlers because your going to see it more and more as people become more educated about breastfeeding, so get used to it and don't judge what you don't know:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBextended.html

http://www.motherstuff.com/html/breastfd-toddler.html

LydiaNN · Jan 27, 2006

Does there really have to be a medical or psychological reason for breastfeeding her child past a traditional age? Can't it be enough that she's the child's mother and has the right to make these decisions?

smkiya, BSN, RN · Jan 27, 2006

I'm happy to see this post... My daughter is 15 months and I've started telling everyone that I've stopped breastfeeding, just to avoid the comments, especially from the in-laws. Because I work and go to nursing school, I don't have a lot of quality time with my daughter. She used to take both the bottle of formula and breast, though she never took the bottle from me. Over this winter break, she refused to take milk from anyone in any form (even pumped breast milk in her Dora the Explorer big girl cup) and would only breastfeed. Maybe she wanted to prolong the time she spent nursing because of our limited time together. I was going to wean her during the break, but thats out of the question now. She won't drink any kind of milk, whole, formula, soy... even if I sweeten them with Quik. After reading this, I'm no longer afraid to wait until she's ready.

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Jan 27, 2006

I'm happy to see this post... My daughter is 15 months and I've started telling everyone that I've stopped breastfeeding, just to avoid the comments, especially from the in-laws. Because I work and go to nursing school, I don't have a lot of quality time with my daughter. She used to take both the bottle of formula and breast, though she never took the bottle from me. Over this winter break, she refused to take milk from anyone in any form (even pumped breast milk in her Dora the Explorer big girl cup) and would only breastfeed. Maybe she wanted to prolong the time she spent nursing because of our limited time together. I was going to wean her during the break, but thats out of the question now. She won't drink any kind of milk, whole, formula, soy... even if I sweeten them with Quik. After reading this, I'm no longer afraid to wait until she's ready.

Good for you! She will let you know when she is ready!

S.N. Visit, BSN, RN · Jan 27, 2006

I wonder why this topic ever became a disagreement in the first place. Since the mom and baby are comfortable, let them be. Breast feeding is not incest.

allnurses Guide · Jan 27, 2006

Count me in as a mom who breastfed 3 out of 4 of her kids into toddlerhood. My first child started prefering the bottle at about 6 months of age - I was working part-time and he got formula when he stayed home with his Dad and I didn't know anything way back then about pumping. I also didn't know enough to realize that if I just stopped giving a bottle, he would have continued nursing.

So, with my next two kids, I did not work. I did not give formula. My #2 child nursed until he was 18 months. My daughter until she was 3 and then my now 4 year old son until he was 3 1/2.

I agree that this should be no one's business except that individual family.

After reading these posts here, you should realize though that your friend nursing her child at 2 1/2 is actually still kinda young. :)

Extended breastfeeding is usually about a bonding time between mom and child. I would nurse my kids first thing in the morning for a quiet time together. I would nurse before naps and bedtime. Or when my child had a "boo boo" or melt-down.

And Freud was a fraud so . . . . . :rolleyes:

steph

P.S. There is a lengthy thread about extended breastfeeding - I think on the OB Forum.

mommy2boys · Jan 27, 2006

I BF both of my boys, my oldest self weened at 13 months and my youngest had to be weened at 10 months (I had to quit because of some medication that I was going to have to take).

My personal belief is that a child doesn't need to be nursed after the age of 2. As long as they can eat a normal diet and don't have a medical reason to need it, such as a absorption disorder.

That said, I don't think you should risk your friendship with someone over their personal decision. As long as they aren't forcing the toddler (which is VERY hard to get a toddler to do anything they don't want to do) they I would stay out of it. As you can tell, breast feeding can be a very intense topic. Unless she asks for you direct opinion, I would avoid this subject at all costs.

Again, this is just my personal beliefs and no way puts down anyone elses beliefs.

Erin

wubbakat · Sep 22, 2006

Breastfed both kids 2-2 1/2 years each. I think with the second child, she stopped at 2 1/2 years. I too had people that "disapproved" of breastfeeding for that amount of time, and felt very self concious about telling people that I still was. My kids have no adjustment issues that I know of. I work with new babies and moms now, and when giving them breastfeeding support, I proudly tell them of my breastfeeding experience. Shoot, there are countries on this earth that there are no other options of feeding their baby and it is accepted. It's too bad that there has to be a bad stigma about it.

rn/writer, RN · Sep 22, 2006

Hello all,
A friend of mine and I are in a little disagreement about breastfeeding. She is still breastfeeding her 2 1/2 year old children. The AAP and WHO recommend breastfeeding exclusively to 6 months, and breastfeeding to a year if possible, while introducing solid foods. They also state that you should continue breastfeeding as long as it's mutually acceptable to the child and mother.
My feeling on the latter part of that statement is that if, for example, the child no longer wants to breastfeed around 9 or 10 months, then you should no longer force the child to breastfeed. Her feeling on that statement is that if the child is 5 years old and she and the child still want to breastfeed, then it's acceptable. Her reasoning behind this is that children in third world countries breastfeed to 5 or 6 years old, so why shouldn't we? I tried to counter with the fact that children in third world countries have to do this just to survive, because there are few other food choices in most cases.
I also believe that breastfeeding to this age can possibly cause psychosocial problems (see Freud's oral stage of development and Erikson's autonomy vs. shame and doubt). She stated that "everyone has an oral fixation" because "everyone likes to eat" (???). I'm not sure what eating has to do with an oral fixation.
Granted, I'm "just a man" and because of that fact, I don't know anything about these types of issues , but I just don't think that there's any medical or psychological reason to be breastfeeding a 2 1/2 year old child. Am I wrong here?
One point of clarification -- she does not breastfeed exclusively. Meaning, the children do eat solid food, along with breastfeeding throughout the day.

Wow. I hope you are not overwhelmed by the reaction to your posts.

I think you can see that breastfeeding is a hot topic.

After reading your post a couple of times, I can see that you are concerned about your friend and her child. I'd like to find out what triggered your thoughts? Have you seen any evidence that the child doesn't want to nurse anymore or that the mother is forcing the issue?

What kinds of psychosocial problems are you thinking might stem from lengthy breastfeeding? A clingy child? An overly sexual child? I guess I wouldn't use Freud as an authority in this area. He was not a well-adjusted man in the area of sex. Regarding Erickson's "shame and doubt vs. autonomy," I wouldn't think a mother and child who are breastfeeding mutually would engender shame or inhibit autonomy, but perhaps you have some other thoughts on this.

Another consideration is how close you are to this pair. You really do walk into a minefield when broaching a subject that challenges a devoted mother and her babe.

I may be way off base here, and you can tell me to mind my own business, but I have been wondering if you are "special friends" with the mother and that is one reason for your discomfort. If so, that's understandable, but odds are that if you draw a line in the sand, you will end up on one side and she and her child will end up on the other.

Even if your friendship is more casual, unless you see real evidence of harm, I'd drop the subject. That and maybe take some time to examine your objections in light of the information that has been shared here.

I was a child and adolescent psych nurse for years and I can't recall a single patient for whom breastfeeding for any length of time was an issue. Far more common were the children whose caregivers were inconsistent and neglectful. I'm picturing a lot of propped bottles here. I don't say this to be critical. Only to point out that this child is blessed to have spent so much time in his (or her) mama's arms.

I just don't think that there's any medical or psychological reason to be breastfeeding a 2 1/2 year old child.

How about because they can and because it makes them happy.

BTW, I just want to say that you were very brave to ask your questions. You were not wrong to do so.

I hope you are able to come to a happy resolution about all of this. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.

Arkansas RN · Sep 22, 2006

My youngest daughter is 33 y/o and I forced her to quit nursing when she was 2.5 yrs old due to pressure from "friends". I still wish I had continued until she quit on her own which I am sure wouldn't have been much longer. My other child quit on her own when she was 11 months old even though I was more than willing to continue nursing.

My experience has been that those who are causing some emotional problems for their children isn't related to whether or not they are nursing but on many other issues that are going on.

Breastfeeding should continue as long as it is a positive experience for the child and mother. Everyone else should simply keep their opinions to themselves!