breakdown at work

SwansonRN · Jun 30, 2013

OMG I'm going to be a terrible nurse! I cried just reading this!

Oh nooo, trust me this situation was brutal and I didn't even do a good job explaining it. I've been working a year and I still tear up a bit when my patients pass away or if there's an especially sad situation. A lot of us experience disenfranchised grief when we take care of someone in their last bit of time, people just express it differently. Shedding a tear every now and again will definitely not make you a bad nurse!

exhaustedstudent · Jun 30, 2013

First of all.... Crying is a natural human response so do not ever feel ashamed because you were crying. I am so sorry that it happened to you. I have cried a few times. The first was when my dog died and I was working as an LVN for a very old burnt out hag and she chewed me out over something stupid and I couldn't put on the show! I just literally broke down and told her where to go. I transfered units shortly after, but it happens. Most of the time we compose ourselves but we are fragile at times and our jobs contribute to the fagility at times.

I wish you the best, and do not be ashamed. Be proud of who you are, what you represent and remember you are not perfect.... just close to it! LOL!

PMFB-RN, RN · Jun 30, 2013

working for almost a year..told myself will never cry at work...ive had good days and bad, but today was one of those that pushed me to the edge...I broke down in front of a colleague, and I guess others could tell due to my red eyes...
has anyone cried due to stress/frustration...I am embarrassed now and realized how unprofessional it was.

*** Good for you! Many people never come to the proper realization that you did. Yes crying at work is inappropriate. There are of course exceptions. Devastating news from home about the death of a close family member, the death of one of those patients who "got" to you and about whom you cared. Under certain situations a limited amount of crying at tragedy will and should be tolerated by your fellow nurses.

Crying cause a doctor, patient, or other nurse said something not nice to you is something to be embarrassed about.

sistasoul · Jun 30, 2013

*** Good for you! Many people never come to the proper realization that you did. Yes crying at work is inappropriate. There are of course exceptions. Devastating news from home about the death of a close family member, the death of one of those patients who "got" to you and about whom you cared. Under certain situations a limited amount of crying at tragedy will and should be tolerated by your fellow nurses.
Crying cause a doctor, patient, or other nurse said something not nice to you is something to be embarrassed about.

I don't think someone should be embarrassed about crying because when a patient, nurse, or Dr said something not nice to you. Sometimes that one remark can you push you over the edge when having the shift from Hades. I have had it happen to me on a particularly bad shift.

BrandonLPN, LPN · Jun 30, 2013

You wouldn't be human if you didn't. We all cry, whether happy, sad, frustrated, or angry tears. Just stay professional in front of the pts and you'll be fine. :)

I take a little exception to the "you're not human if you don't cry sometimes" line of thought. I've never cried at work. I can't see the future, but there's a good chance I never will.

Fair or not, saying it's "okay" for a nurse to cry in response to stress/being overwhelmed is probably a big reason nursing continues to be viewed as less professional and more effeminate than, say, medicine.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jun 30, 2013

Some people cry some people don't cry. Some Females express frustration and hurt with tears. Most males do not. I have NEVER been considered less of a professional because I have shed a few tears......I can be as tough as nails and I have worked in some rough environments..........sometimes I think the more masculine nursing becomes I sometimes feel we are losing what we do best....just being a nurse/care giver/advocate/nurturer/protector.

IN many ways that makes me sad.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Jun 30, 2013

Some people cry some people don't cry. Some Females express frustration and hurt with tears. Most males do not. I have NEVER been considered less of a professional because I have shed a few tears......although the more masculine nursing becomes I sometimes feel we are losing what we do best....just being a nurse/care giver/advocate/nurturer/protector.

^THIS x infinity!!!

I am one of the females that express frustration with tears...and it takes A LOT for me to even go there.

Last time I checked we were one of the most humanistic professions out there...we may have a few professionals who may need to perfect their emotions, no more than any other profession.I have seen lawyers, doctors, police officers, business owners lose their emotions, and I don't think of them as less "professional". I find it humane. We are who we are.

exhaustedstudent · Jul 1, 2013

I find BrandonLPNs comment to be gender discriminant, and clearly this man has no education of merit. First of all, Nursing is not considered a field of "less than" professionals or effeminate. Registered Nurses are in one of the most trusted professions in the USA. We come from a legacy of critical thinkers, independent practioners, and scientific innovators. I graduated with a BS from ASU in pre-law; I saw plenty of men in very high positions throw things, cry from anger or frustration and police officers weeping and sobbing in court due to bad verdicts! I am now in the hospital and see male doctors crying with patients due to sadness, frustration ECT. And I am sure they are not considered "less than professional" or of having traits of women. Crying does not put someone at a level of unprofessional and validates no type of disrespect. It simply means that someone is human, as it is a human response. After all that is simple biology, basic anatomy, and basic physiology. This person should be ashamed of their uneducated comment. I pray he will be humbled someday very soon. The respondsibilty of his job, no doubt does not compare to yours.

BrandonLPN, LPN · Jul 1, 2013

I find BrandonLPNs comment to be gender discriminant, and clearly this man has no education of merit. First of all, Nursing is not considered a field of "less than" professionals or effeminate. Registered Nurses are in one of the most trusted professions in the USA. We come from a legacy of critical thinkers, independent practioners, and scientific innovators. I graduated with a BS from ASU in pre-law; I saw plenty of men in very high positions throw things, cry from anger or frustration and police officers weeping and sobbing in court due to bad verdicts! I am now in the hospital and see male doctors crying with patients due to sadness, frustration ECT. And I am sure they are not considered “less than professional” or of having traits of women. Crying does not put someone at a level of unprofessional and validates no type of disrespect. It simply means that someone is human, as it is a human response. After all that is simple biology, basic anatomy, and basic physiology. This person should be ashamed of their uneducated comment. I pray he will be humbled
someday very soon. The respondsibilty of his job, no doubt does not compare to yours.

First, I prefaced my comment with "fair or not" for a reason. Second, I said some view nursing as less professional and effeminate, not that I personally think it is. Third, I was talking about crying as a response to stress.

So basically, anyone who doesn't feel the way you do about crying at work is undereducated and sexist?

BrandonLPN, LPN · Jul 1, 2013

And I wish to point out that being in control of one's emotions does not mean that one doesn't have any.

There's a lot of things that could be considered "natural" biological responses that we don't act upon because part of being an adult human is having self control.

And of course the issue of gender colors the nature of this discussion somewhat when one is discussing a female-dominated profession. It would be naive to say otherwise.

PMFB-RN, RN · Jul 1, 2013

I don't think someone should be embarrassed about crying because when a patient, nurse, or Dr said something not nice to you. Sometimes that one remark can you push you over the edge when having the shift from Hades. I have had it happen to me on a particularly bad shift.

*** Being in control of you emotions is one mark of a professional. Never in my life has any one remark pushed me over the edge where I lose control of my emotions and start crying.

I have cried at work and I am a big strong man. I have cried when patients I had a relationship with died.

A limited amount of crying at tragedy is OK.

edmia, BSN, RN · Jul 1, 2013

working for almost a year..told myself will never cry at work...ive had good days and bad, but today was one of those that pushed me to the edge...I broke down in front of a colleague, and I guess others could tell due to my red eyes...
has anyone cried due to stress/frustration...I am embarrassed now and realized how unprofessional it was.

I don't think it's unprofessional. I've cried after being abused by some jerk doctor who feels that belittling others is the way to show their power. I don't care what others think, crying releases the stress valve and then it's done! The rest of the day can go on.

Obviously I don't lose it in the middle of the unit, but it happens. Don't stress about it!

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