breakdown at work

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jul 1, 2013

I've never been much of a crier, though there are those moments when a beloved resident passes that I need to go in the bathroom and hide for a little while. Even then, I don't lose it completely.....I wait till I get in the car for that.

I'm also not the sort of woman who bursts into tears when I'm being verbally abused by some family member or rebuked by a supervisor---I get MAD!!! Holding my temper is the hardest thing I have to do under these circumstances, and when it's over I have to go outside and stomp around for a bit to release the frustration.

Doing something physical always helps me get myself back under control---it's a trick my doctor taught me awhile back. What you do is tell yourself you are going to be angry for X number of minutes, then do something physically challenging while you're hashing it over in your mind. Limit it to no more than 30 minutes, then stop, tell yourself you are going to put the anger away just until tomorrow, and resume your appointed rounds. The result, almost invariably, is that by tomorrow you're not PO'd anymore.

NurseDirtyBird · Jul 1, 2013

A person can cry occasionally when things get bad and still be a professional. Professionals keep their composure as often as humanly possible. Everybody has a breaking point. Everybody.

I've been trash talked up one way and down the other by patients, families, doctors and whoever else decides to be abusive that day, and kept my cool. Two, maybe 3 times in my 7 years of nursing have I cried in front of people at work (one of which I described earlier). All the rest of those days I did not. Does that make me less of a nurse?

My super butch, super professional alpha-male cop husband has cried at work. The nature of that job can do that. Does that make him less of a cop? NO. He's a human being who is responsible for people's lives and takes that responsibility very seriously. That's a lot of pressure, and very much like the pressure nurses are under. Sometimes it sucks and it gets to you.

It's a completely different story if it gets to you all the time.

stewartfamily2010 · Jul 1, 2013

You're human.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2013

*** Being in control of you emotions is one mark of a professional. Never in my life has any one remark pushed me over the edge where I lose control of my emotions and start crying.
I have cried at work and I am a big strong man. I have cried when patients I had a relationship with died.
A limited amount of crying at tragedy is OK.

Crying in a situation in which you would cry is okay but not in another? That "one remark" is sometimes the tip of the iceberg. Depends on the culture and person. I guess crying can make you seem emotionally unhinged or something..... I've seen nurses cry after being insulted and yelled at and I've seen nurses cry when a pt coded or died .... most of them seemed pretty embarassed by it in any case. Most ofy coworkers I can't imagine crying in any situation

savoytruffle, BSN, RN · Jul 10, 2013

Everyone has their own threshold. I am stoic. By the time my job makes me cry I've been pushed to my breaking point. One of LPNs came in my office crying real tears because someone sat in her seat at the nurses station and she felt "pushed out". She cries at least once a week. (I have a hard time taking her seriously though- she is very emotional) have you read any books on Emotional Intelligence? It talks a lot about controlling emotions in order to w more effective at work. There have even been studies done that tie a high EQ to increased salaries and job satisfaction.

PMFB-RN, RN · Jul 11, 2013

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veryone has their own threshold. I am stoic. By the time my job makes me cry I've been pushed to my breaking point. One of LPNs came in my office crying real tears because someone sat in her seat at the nurses station and she felt "pushed out". She cries at least once a week. (I have a hard time taking her seriously though- she is very emotional)

*** Eyes roll.

have you read any books on Emotional Intelligence? It talks a lot about controlling emotions in order to w more effective at work. There have even been studies done that tie a high EQ to increased salaries and job satisfaction.

*** No I haven't but I long suspected that was the case.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2013

Everyone has their own threshold. I am stoic. By the time my job makes me cry I've been pushed to my breaking point. One of LPNs came in my office crying real tears because someone sat in her seat at the nurses station and she felt "pushed out". She cries at least once a week. (I have a hard time taking her seriously though- she is very emotional) have you read any books on Emotional Intelligence? It talks a lot about controlling emotions in order to w more effective at work. There have even been studies done that tie a high EQ to increased salaries and job satisfaction.

No, I haven't read any if those studies. Which emotions? I am pretty stoic myself and if anything I have gotten negative comments on it. or are these just "bad/negative" emotions we have to control?

savoytruffle, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2013

I started reading emotional intelligence 2.0 but got side tracked. It was recommended by a peer at school. Just being consistent, even tempered. Not showing and reacting to everything. I have trouble with that at times. The book seems very good. I'm going to pick it back up.

janedoe · Jul 12, 2013

repeat

janedoe · Jul 12, 2013

I cried a few days ago,, Hard,, In my DON'S office... Over one of my staff members. I cried because I felt so guilty and blamed me for her behavior... However as I began to research my feelings I educated myself that her behaviors are s/s of a master manipulator . She was written up once for her behavior and was told to stop the shenanigans by my boss and administrator. However as we all know and understand it takes more than a write up, it takes counseling. I do not want to deal or be around her toxic venom she consistently spits at me. It is disrespectful, annoying and shows her true integrity. I am mgmt., the lower end, the upper end will not do anything about it after the last stent she pulled. They say ignore it as I do but I am human with some feeling as well as her Supervisor who umbrella's her LPN licenses. Does anyone see where I am going with this and any suggestions on how to stop her..., I can not really talk about it at work so your thoughts, opinions, letters would be much appreciated. I am not saying I am right, I need an objective view. See I did it again by saying, "I am not saying I am right." SO yes, a subordinate made me cry... I do not want to take her deep seeded manipulative behavior for one more day. They are interfering with my work productivity and staff moral.. Thank you and have a nice day... .