Boyfriend of a Nursing Student

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I'm in a very committed relationship with a nursing student at a different school about a half an hour from me. We've been dating for a little over a year and both agree that marriage is in or future, I'm extremely proud of her for her career choice and try everything to be as supportive as I can from a distance but for the past few weeks I can't get one thing off my mind. I've seen the threads about a boyfriend being upset that his girlfriend has to touch or see another man's member among other things and that isn't what this is about, at first that thought and picture really bothered me but at this point I'm honestly over that and don't really care about it, I understand it's part of the job and I'm not concerned. I'm also not worried about her being turned on by inserting a catheter or giving a bed bath but the one thing that bothers me is how a nurse can have any interest in seeing her significant other naked after seeing several men naked that day at work, I know they are "just body parts" on patients but is it really different when it's your boyfriend or husband's? I know this question will probably seem dumb to everyone on here but as a management major who has no experience in the medical field it's hard for me to imagine that she won't eventually become desensitized to the male body and anatomy and develop the "seen one, seen them all" mentality. That would just really be hard because I know the way I look at her body and like to think that it goes both ways and I would just hate to lose that. Any advice would be appreciated, if you want to tell me how immature it is or to get over it then save your time, I realize it's small and probably largely unreasonable but I'm just looking to see how other couples or husbands have dealt with this if they've had the same problem or if it really isn't a problem then I would like to hear that too. Thanks in advance

I'm not "hiding" behind anything, I have said repeatedly that my concern was wrong and poorly founded and I came here in an attempt to gain insight and understanding of something that was new to me and frankly hard to wrap my head around. You're right, it wasn't helping her so I decided to seek out advice and other perspectives from a different source. As far as human to human understanding goes I think I understand my girlfriend quite well in all but a few aspects but as a nurse yourself I would think you would have a little more "empathy" and try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own instead of making accusations.

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I'm not "hiding" behind anything, I have said repeatedly that my concern was wrong and poorly founded and I came here in an attempt to gain insight and understanding of something that was new to me and frankly hard to wrap my head around. You're right, it wasn't helping her so I decided to seek out advice and other perspectives from a different source. As far as human to human understanding goes I think I understand my girlfriend quite well in all but a few aspects but as a nurse yourself I would think you would have a little more "empathy" and try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own instead of making accusations.

If you aren't hiding why did you change your name?

She is trying to help you. We have told ad nauseum how it is.

Why don't you go hang out with your GF you love so much instead of arguing about naked patients on a nursing message board?

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I recently had a conversation with several of my coworkers about viewing patient's private parts. I have been an ED technician for 5 years now (hopefully a nursing student by this coming January!), and I had an incident where I saw a patient's testicles as I was walking by their room. It did not phase me one bit. The site elicited the same feeling as staring at the patient's face.

As a heterosexual male seeing testicles wouldn't elicit any kind of sexual response. But the same can be said for the times I have seen young women's breasts and lady parts. Definitely didn't elicit any kind of remotely sexual thoughts, and it sure as hell didn't take away from how I felt or viewed my wife's body parts. Definitely didn't affect our sexy time :cool:.

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Specializes in Hospice.

Ok, it's like this:

The lady partss, testicles and memberes (penii??) that we run into as Nurses are NOT sexy. Period.

I'm beginning to think that your "interest" in this is as creepy and unhealthy as the person who was obsessed with death.

We've told you ad nauseum how it is. Naughty Nurse Media fantasies are just that; fantasies. With all the fluids that can drip from private parts, we don't want to TOUCH them, much less engage in illicit sex with them. Besides, when you're in the middle of med pass, who the heck has the time??

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I changed my name because I decided to reference the state I am from rather than where I go to school. I said I'm not hiding because I was accused of hiding behind the male perspective and that isn't what I'm doing at all. I simply said that as a man it is hard for me to magically see things from the perspective of a woman.

I know that I have been told "how it is," I thoroughly appreciate that and was ready to leave this post alone until I was lectured to and chastised by someone who knows nothing about the situation I'm in. The majority of my responses have been thanking people and attempts to clarify my original post.

While I would love to go hang out with my girlfriend the distance prevents that from happening.

I am truly appreciative of the responses that I've received and will gladly stop disrupting your message board now.

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Jensmom, do you have plural confusion?

1 member.

2 penuxes.

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I'm sorry but when have I said anything about a "naughty nurse"? I haven't kept this going, other than thanking the posters who have truly given advice and insight. That was never what this was about and I'm struggling to see why this is continually brought up.

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Because it's continuously brought up. To women nurses. By men.

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Specializes in Behavioral Health.
I do not understand how the female mind works, I am a man after all and I haven't met another man yet who can begin to understand that subject.

Men and women are more alike than they are different. There's a reason we don't have "male therapy" and "female therapy." Or "male psychologists" and "female psychologists." Wait, that last one is a bad example.

Anyway, men and women think a lot alike. The "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" type stuff is pointless hand-waving crap. The biggest reason we (men and women) have trouble understanding one another is because we assume we don't think alike, which excludes the possibility that you actually do understand each other...

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Well believe me, I find that idea ridiculous and it was never a concern of mine.

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Specializes in Behavioral Health.
Because it's continuously brought up. To women nurses. By men.

This is true... female nurses get a lot of SUPER terrible behavior from mostly male patients that would get them arrested in any other setting... but I don't think it's fair to hang that baggage on OP.

I don't think it's weird to wonder what effect it has to see patients naked all the time. Most people don't see naked people all the time. A lot of people only see naked people in sexual situations. So, I think I can see where he's coming from. It's not his fault he doesn't know what it's like - that's what he came here to find out. He's actively finding out. That's good.

ETA: I quoted Farawyn for context, but this is more of a general musing than a response to her... she's totes right on.

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Thank you for saying that, it is hard for someone outside of the profession to understand and I really appreciate the advice and insight.

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