Best one sentence handoff report

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My handoff to the oncoming rn was "300 pounds, off meds, homicidal intent". The was more of course but that summed it up. Let's hear 'em.

I was standing outside my patient room waiting for report. The elderly patient was in bed playing with a baby doll. The pct tells me, "I'll give you report." He states, "she delivered her baby at noon and was shaking it at 1400." oh lord haha

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Specializes in EMERG.

"Stretcher 11 has a PmHx of everything under the sun" nurse looks up at sounding monitor "awe ****, get the cart and a doctor, and add cardiac arrest to the list". (What a freaking way to start the morning!)

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Specializes in ER.

OK I'm GUILTY!!

I have given a report that started with... "Room 6 is gonna die, I'm sorry"

I have also taken and given report on our frequent flyers that don't need anything but some sleep and food!

The LTC posts are kinda funny to me. :)

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When my replacement arrived this evening, I greeted her with "You like a challenge, don't you?"

I think I owe her a margarita.

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Specializes in ER.

EMS called in the pt "looks bad and is getting worse"......um...ok....that leaves a lot open for interpretation.

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Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care (CEN, CCRN).

"303's EtOH is only 378 this time, which for them is practically stone cold sober."

"Your Resus coverage is the med student, the resident and (slow-moving attending). I'll light a candle for you."

"He's had three liters bolus, six units of PRBCs, four of FFP, a six-pack of platelets, Levo just went up, and MedFlight was supposed to be here half an hour ago. And yes, that really is his pressure."

"Patient speaks not a lick of English, is older than God and apparently too demented to use Language Line, and the family stayed just long enough to sign the consent and split."

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Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

"I know they've been here a few hours now, but I don't think I've seen any orders yet..."

"This one needs a new IV. And probably needs to have a sitter because she's crazy."

"That screaming... yeah, he's been doing that a few hours but we've been busy and that 1 mg of morphine just isn't cutting it..."

"She's on a PCA. Found her sucking on the IV line earlier after she disconnected it from her port. Weirdo."

Plus 4 stablish patients. This was all on one night. Gotta love short staffing :-)

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Specializes in ER, ICU.
walking into a crap storm in our high acuity section of the ER with no room to walk b/c there are stretchers EVERYWHERE lol.... day shift looks at me and says "i'm sorry...." lol
Haha, I get that from the day shifters A LOT! :)
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"65 yo male. foreign body in rectum. device is on. going to OR soon."

"HR of 30. 3 rounds of atropine w no success, couldnt tolerate pacing, the highest SBP we have seen is 50."

"altered mental status. fell out of bed three times. daughter is the attending on call."

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While working EMS, called in a report:

"I'm bringing (frequent flyer's name), be there in 10, he wants turkey for his sandwich tonight."

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Best one I've heard while working in the ED as a volunteer was 'bed 14 just needs a sitter, apparently giant bunnies and ewoks are coming for her...leave the foil hat on her it's blocking the signals.'

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

In my ICU it was basically "you know the pt in room x right, well then SSDD."

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