Best Hallucinations Thread

Off the top of my head, there was this adorable LOM who had pretty advanced dementia. Couldn't hold a conversation for the life of him, poor dear. We just kept him in one of those geriatric recliners all day long, and so long as we occasionally stopped and sang him a little song, or did a little dance (he really loved a lively jig!), he sat there pretty calmly.

One afternoon, I'm doing rounds and look over at him and see him chewing pretty enthusiastically on something. I panic, because there is no way he should have something to eat at this time. I just have these images in my head of all the fun stuff he might have gotten around him, in his brief, etc. Ask him what in the world he is eating. He tells me his wife left him some gum under his bed, in that bowl (our AM care stuff). At this moment I notice little bubbles in the corner of his mouth. Turns out he had been chewing on his bar of soap. I cracked up, ran and got him a big glass of water to rinse his mouth. I guess compared to some stories on here, and certainly what he COULD have been eating, we got pretty lucky.

Poor man though, such a sweetheart...

I had a little old lady seeing spiders crawling all over her wall.This was back in the day (early 80's) when you "absolutely had to" reorient confused little patients and NEVER ever ever act like their hallucinations were real. They preached that hot and heavy back then. Sadly this patient was scared to death of spiders, half crying and half screaming keeping the rest of the patients awake.

When she started to try and get out of bed I thought "oh no, this will end in disaster. Finally I walked into her room with a serious face and whispered to her, "Please don't tell anyone this secret because no one else can know this, but those aren't really spiders." She stopped hollering and looked at me like I was crazy.

"and you have to promise that you won't tell anyone this secret. You have to promise me you won't tell." She sat up in the bed and looked at me as serious as a judge then. "Those are really tiny baby bunnies wearing spider costumes to hide so nothing will see them and eat them."

She screwed her face up thinking it over. Then her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she said "look I can see that one's fluffy tail peeking out underneath. You're right. Oh my. No, I won't tell a soul." She then clapped and exclaimed "Oh they are smart little babies, and I like them so much more now that I know they aren't spiders."

She calmed down for the rest of the night and the medication wore off and she didn't remember a thing.

I like it when people mime eating. We all watched in quiet wonder while my confused gentleman patient ate a cheeseburger out of thin air with his eyes closed the entire time.

I had a little old lady seeing spiders crawling all over her wall.This was back in the day (early 80’s) when you “absolutely had to” reorient confused little patients and NEVER ever ever act like their hallucinations were real. They preached that hot and heavy back then. Sadly this patient was scared to death of spiders, half crying and half screaming keeping the rest of the patients awake.

When she started to try and get out of bed I thought "oh no, this will end in disaster. Finally I walked into her room with a serious face and whispered to her, “Please don’t tell anyone this secret because no one else can know this, but those aren’t really spiders.” She stopped hollering and looked at me like I was crazy.

“and you have to promise that you won't tell anyone this secret. You have to promise me you won't tell." She sat up in the bed and looked at me as serious as a judge then. "Those are really tiny baby bunnies wearing spider costumes to hide so nothing will see them and eat them.”

She screwed her face up thinking it over. Then her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she said “look I can see that one’s fluffy tail peeking out underneath. You’re right. Oh my. No, I won’t tell a soul.” She then clapped and exclaimed “Oh they are smart little babies, and I like them so much more now that I know they aren’t spiders.”

She calmed down for the rest of the night and the medication wore off and she didn’t remember a thing.

For some reason, this one made me tear up a little... I think it is because she called them "smart little babies." Baby ANYTHINGS get me every time!

Older lady on massive steriods. The nurses where gaving sex with dogs on her bed! Gotta love the boxers! This went away after some mellerial. Yes I have been a nurse to long. Do they even make that anymore?

I had a patient who was CONVINCED i was an FBI agent posing a nurse. Pretty much everyone got made into something different and we were "posing as a nurse."

Conversation when i met him:

Me-"Hi Jon Doe. My name is Caitlyn and i'll be your nurse until 11pm."

Jon Doe-"thats what you want me to think, but i know otherwise. You can't fool me with your shiny shoes. Only FBI agents wear shiny shoes."

Me-"Ok. Well, i'll be back around with your medicine. you buzz if you need anything"

Jon- "I'm not taking medicine, its probably got cameras in it and you are going to follow my every move when i figure out how to escape."

You know me, FBI agent posing as nurse :)

I almost forgot. One time i once had a patient hallucinating bugs crawling all over the room. She was one of those patients, is she confused or is she just goofy? type patients. Anyway...once she started seeing these bugs we were all like, yup she is confused. So typical of a confused patient to be seeing bugs.

So she was SCARED of these bugs everytime one would come out of its hiding spot. She would scream and the bug would "go away" this went on for a while, until one of the bugs started to fly. So we got the doctor to come see her, he wrote an order for ativan...i gave it to calm her down. Helped somewhat but still not liking these bugs. just didn't freak out AS much when she saw one

Well, i went bak in there and sure enough, there were BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw them too. I called the charge nurse in (patients room was by the desk) and i was like "Am i hallucinating too, or are there really bugs right there?"

Sure enough, BUGS!

poor lady I felt so awful.....gotta laugh about it later though.

I had a little old lady seeing spiders crawling all over her wall.This was back in the day (early 80’s) when you “absolutely had to” reorient confused little patients and NEVER ever ever act like their hallucinations were real. They preached that hot and heavy back then. Sadly this patient was scared to death of spiders, half crying and half screaming keeping the rest of the patients awake.

When she started to try and get out of bed I thought "oh no, this will end in disaster. Finally I walked into her room with a serious face and whispered to her, “Please don’t tell anyone this secret because no one else can know this, but those aren’t really spiders.” She stopped hollering and looked at me like I was crazy.

“and you have to promise that you won't tell anyone this secret. You have to promise me you won't tell." She sat up in the bed and looked at me as serious as a judge then. "Those are really tiny baby bunnies wearing spider costumes to hide so nothing will see them and eat them.”

She screwed her face up thinking it over. Then her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she said “look I can see that one’s fluffy tail peeking out underneath. You’re right. Oh my. No, I won’t tell a soul.” She then clapped and exclaimed “Oh they are smart little babies, and I like them so much more now that I know they aren’t spiders.”

She calmed down for the rest of the night and the medication wore off and she didn’t remember a thing.

Best comeback ever! Totally made me laugh out loud!!!

I remember one pt....man! She was a handful! Only around 60-ish in age...but severe Korsakoff's dementia.

She had a small paper plate in her room with a pretty, purple, lace doillie on it. This was the beginning of my night shift ( 2315). As I was doing 1st rounds I noticed a foul odor as I got closer to her room. I opened the door and there she was standing...naked from the waist down, suspicious brown smears on her back side, legs, hands and ( gulp*) around her mouth. Before my brain would engage and process what I was looking at...the pt says to me.....

" Hello Dear...what can I help you with today? We have some fresh coconut truffles here!":yuck:

UGH!!!!

It turns out...this woman was a very successful Chocolatier ( specialty candy maker) in her day.

Ya....the next Willy Wonka!!!

weemsp - that reminds me of a story a collegue told me. She was pregnant at the time and having problems with nausea.

She walked into her pts room to find her rocking and singing to the large, brown object in her hands. My friends tried to get it from her - the pt just held it closer and chattered at her in Chinese. By now, my friend is gagging but still trying to get the turd from the pt. Long story short - she had to leave and get someone else to deal with it!I still laugh at the image of a little old Chinese lady rocking and singing to her poop!

Pepper....that IS funny!!!!!

It's odd how a dementia Dx seems to always involve some sort of bizarre " poopy" behavior!!!

weemsp - that reminds me of a story a collegue told me. She was pregnant at the time and having problems with nausea.

She walked into her pts room to find her rocking and singing to the large, brown object in her hands. My friends tried to get it from her - the pt just held it closer and chattered at her in Chinese. By now, my friend is gagging but still trying to get the turd from the pt. Long story short - she had to leave and get someone else to deal with it!I still laugh at the image of a little old Chinese lady rocking and singing to her poop!

I know this thread is almost a year old, but I just reread the entire thing and this post..well...I'm done. HAHAHAHAHA! I almost peed myself....