Being Judgemental Doesn't It Give Nurses A Bad Rap?

weirdRN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

I do not understand the sterotype that every nurse should be loving and kind and sweetness and light all the time. I do not know anyone who is like that. I do not have to love or care for every person that I come in contact with.

I have worked a few places in my life. I have worked at some nice places and some not so nice places.

For my co-workers and my supervisees, it is not my job to make anyone else's job easier. It IS my job to ensure quality patient care. If I tell someone that the job that they are doing is subpar and then tell them how to correct their deficiency, then they should take that constructively and do their job IAW the standards set by law and institutional policy.

There have been places where I just did not approve of some of the choices that co-workers made. When that occured, I put on my best nurse face and was as professional as I could be.

Whether you believe it or not, people make judgements every single minute of every day. If you felt you were being judged, or that someone was being unkind, then maybe you should consider the source and let it go. Some people are just that way. You might also consider the attitude that you project when dealing with the people you presume are judging you.

scrmblr · Aug 5, 2006

isn't nurses supposed to be loving understand and caring instead of down sizing their patients,co-workers etc etc. wouldn't it explain why so places are short of help? have you see anyone who just walk off the floor because they couldn't taking anymore they just got tired of the b.s. ?

Many nurses are loving, caring and compassionate. I work with some of the most amazing nurses. But let's face reality. Nursing is hard. The burnout rate is off the chart. In an ideal world all PEOPLE would be loving, understanding and caring. NOT just nurses. Wouldn't it be lovely to have pt's who are loving, understanding and caring ALL the time?

We are short nurses because of the aging population, the schools that can't keep up with the demand, and the burnout rate.

and, as far as "judgement" goes, I have found that I must judge my pt's in some ways. When a pt is in a room and says she/he has 10/10 pain, but can't put her cell phone down...I judge that and act accordingly. If I have a pt tell me she is having abd pain, and then asks for some kind of snack because she hasn't eaten today...I judge that and act accordingly. I also look at the way someone is dressed, the way they look in my eyes or avoid my eyes and the demeaner they present even when no one is looking. This helps me decide who is "sickest" I try not to judge people for just being human. I even try not to judge the "oh so concerned" paren'ts who leave and go to MCDONALDS during their 8m old son's LUMBAR PUNCTURE and don't return for an hour. BUT, *I* am 100% human. I TRY not to think ill of my fellow men, But, I am not Budha and I am not Christ. I am still on the path to enlightenment and until I get there...Judging others will be something I am always working on.

ZootRN · Aug 5, 2006

Some nurses are so judgmental, I think they make a life just harder for themselves. I personally took many reports from people, spending half of the report time describing what kind of idiots are that particular pt's family members, and describing every tatoo on pt's body. I just don't want to waste my time on such things. I don't have a problem giving pain meds if they are prescribed and pts asks for them. I've seen nurses who would refuse to give pain meds because they decided so, and will fight with the pt because of that, and will make their day a hell. I never understood it. Maybe, its a control issue for some, who feels its the only thing they can control in a powerless nursing, I don't know.

DusktilDawn · Aug 5, 2006

Two things have kept me in the position on the unit I'm on:

1. The other RNs I work with. If not for the support we give each other, I would have left a long time ago. This same sentiment tends to get said amongst us quite often.

2. The majority of patients and their families actually are pleasant to deal with. Despite the fact that when one is ill or has had surgery, most of my patients are quite friendly as is their families.

isn't nurses supposed to be loving understand and caring instead of down sizing their patients,co-workers etc etc. wouldn't it explain why so places are short of help? have you see anyone who just walk off the floor because they couldn't taking anymore they just got tired of the b.s. ?

What about the HCWs who are not nurses, should they not also be loving and understanding and caring instead of sizing their patients and co-workers. I've heard enough snide remarks from NAs to the housekeepers that THINK they know what my job is and how it should be done. I find your post somewhat judgemental towards nurses.

gitterbug · Aug 5, 2006

Part of the salary I am paid is for making judegment calls, some are easy, and others are very difficult. Taking care of patients means we must often adopt a "kind, patient, and caring attitude" when we would much rather be

yelling at the top of our lungs. When a patient or the family asked me questions that are difficult to answer, I always inquire what the physician has told them, then and only then I give them the information they need if I am able. Most questions are already answered, they just want and need a little reinforcement. If we remember the "Golden Rule" and make an honest attempt to practice it everyday, especially in our workplace, we will be able to do our jobs and do them well.

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

There are stereotypes in all professions. Politicians and Car salesmen are supose to be cunning and tricky, Lawyers are selfish and out for themselves, Doctor's are supose to be compassionate yet staunchy in their professionalism, police are supose to be harn nosed and strong, the list goes on and on...but we all know that these are false!!!!!! There is different spectrums in individuals in each profession...nursing is absolutely no different!!!!

I have seen quite a range in people in nursing, just like I have seen a range of people as pts and coworkers! A diverse bunch, and some maybe less appealing in their work or professional ethics, where some may be happy and compassionate to the point of emisis...there is a commonality that can not be ignored...that nursing is our JOB and profession!

I get a little annoyed when people assume things about nurses! I usually get two sceneros...the constant medical questions seeking free healthcare advice like I am some free MD, or the "you must be all sweetness and light to do all that". Both are stereotypes and are incorrect for the majority of the people I know, let alone nurses!

I am a funny cheery person who uses that to my advantage for the greater good of my own sanity and my patients comfort and quality care. I am technical, somewhat A-typical when it comes to my tasks, and never have enough time in a day to just be able to get to really get to know my pts. I am pleasant, but the task at hand is top priority for their well being...so I have to balance the two...keeping in mind they are not the only pts!

Some people may think I am fun, others may see me as annoying...some simply don't care and want the job done...and some want to be my friend forever after a few minutes.

Some may think I am judgemental if they wish to read that into anything I say, and others think I am not judgemental enough! Some say I am compassionate to a fault, some think I am not compassionate enough...the list can go on forever...

The bottom line is I am a nurse, that is my JOB, I do the best I can in any given situation to provide human kindness and understanding as well as doing what I am trained and responsible for doing for the welfare of the pt. I enjoy it more when I am being my funny self, but there are times when things are flying fast and I can't enjoy that...

I think one of the probelms in nursing today is the "sweetness and light" and "servent of the MD and pt" and "nasty clucking chickens sitting at a desk gosiping and ploting against other co-workers" persona has to GO! Stereotypes are generally wrong...and I find that to be very true in Nursing and healthcare!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Aug 5, 2006

Stereotypes and generalizations don't belong anywhere, and I, for one, don't want to see them on this board. Please remember that this is a DISCUSSION, not a "let's-trash-somebody" thread.

Nurses are no different from farmers, lawyers, factory workers or fruit pickers: we are HUMAN first. We are no more or less subject to the sorts of behaviors which the OP, and indeed most people, find distasteful. Let's keep this in mind when we start pointing fingers..........for when we do so, three fingers are pointing right back at US.

Thank you.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

isn't nurses supposed to be loving understand and caring instead of down sizing their patients,co-workers etc etc. wouldn't it explain why so places are short of help? have you see anyone who just walk off the floor because they couldn't taking anymore they just got tired of the b.s. ?

And aren't MDs supposed to be in it just for the love of helping people?

And aren't priests supposed to be celibate with no desires?

And aren't pastors/rabbis suppose to be monogamous w/perfect families?

And aren't teachers suppose to be into it, always w/plenty of time to help EVERY student reach their potential, never any sick days or lives of their own?

Aren't legislators suppose to be ethical and above reproach?

Aren't presidents suppose to be devoting their all to the job and never taking vacations? Don't we "own" their lives when they are in office.

Aren't those that preach morals and family values, supposed to be able to keep a marriage together.....and be drug free?

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Guess what...they don't and we don't.....because we are humans with needs, desires, and faults.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

there are judgemental teachers, nurses, lawyers, garbage collectors, bank tellers----the point is we are all human and each job has its drawbacks....

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

The problem isn't NOT having kindhearted, caring nurses. The problem is holding them to an expectation higher than should be reasonable or expected.

My cousin is a teacher. There are parents who believe that as such, she should be available at any moment for conferences, after-school help, extra tutoring (day and night, btw) and if their kids are missing supplies, well she should just "have something" for them (that she's bought of course since she's such a devoted and caring teacher).

Doesn't happen with her, either

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Aug 5, 2006

hey..lets change directions to a proactive stance?

i know this op, and actually the wonderment is from the fact that we are professionals and why don't we act like it in kind to others....something we all have wondered!

so...what is it that we can do each day to stop the stereotypes? personally i think keeping a professional aire at all times is a good start, and letting the public know you are not a slave, not trying to cheat another nurse out, and what not!

be respectful of your collegues...i have found out that even if i didn't like their ways..i learned from them...so as long as a pt isn't hurt or suffering..this is a good thing!

you don't have to be all honey and sweetness...just be a good person as you do what you do! easy!

what other suggestions???????