Bed Wetting

ktwlpn, LPN · Sep 28, 2002

Originally posted by Julielpn
Hello all~
As I'm sure you all know by now, our daughter and 5y/o grandson have moved in with us for the time being.

Problem is...our 5 y/o grandson wets the bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!!!
I am so fed up with this that I could scream! I don't know what to do....I have tried getting him up early to go, he just pees earlier...I have tried cutting down his liquids after 6pm, he still goes.....I have tried getting him up before I go to bed, he still pees.....

I am totally at my wits end here! Last night, he woke up at 12:30am, because he wet his bed, crawled in bed with my 14y/o son (his uncle) then proceeded to pee in HIS bed too!
I don't like the thought of pullups, but I'm thinking that to be the only solution I have. My washer is going to explode with all the washing of sheets and blankets everyday!

Any suggestions anyone?

Thanks, Julie:(

Oh Julie-you have your hands full with your job and your other children...I really think that this is NOT your responsibility....Your adult daughter is very lucky to have you to fall back on but is she does not learn to take her responsibilities seriously she will continue this pattern.She is having a great vacation-does she clean or cook at all? Yard work?She goes to work and you are responsible for the boy all day after you have worked night shift? Surely she can afford child care for the mornings so you can sleep....I know she has been through a rough time-but that's life...she won't learn from her mistakes if there are no consequences for her...Let her struggle a bit with sleep deprivation and a bit of hard work...I am afraid that she is feeling sorry for herself and maybe taking advantage of you.....

Barinbass · Sep 29, 2002

There are two different issues here. One involves the mother daughter relationship and the other involves what is happening to the child. Both are important and are managed separately. While trying to decide what to do about the daughter's actions and how the mother should handle it, do not forget abt the child. I did have a bed wetting problem as a child and as soon as the next child arrived, I, too was sent to stay with grandmother. That in the long run was not the best way to handle it. It separated me from my family or origin and also stopped any assessment into the real problem causing the bedwetting. It needed to be assessed, diagnosed, and treated as I found out many years later. To choose not to thoroughly assess, diagnose and treat the actual problem could be considered negligence should it be that there is a physical problem that if left untreated, can cause further harm in any way. Two separate issues.

SmilingBluEyes · Sep 29, 2002

Yep two seperate issues that have already been well-discussed here in numerous posts, tweety. I think we about got it covered. No one wishes to neglect anyone here. Julie, hang in there!

shabookitty · Sep 29, 2002

Daughters sometimes take advantage of Grandma...my mother-in-law is going through this same thing. Her daughter is under so much stress I think she just dosen't think. And of cousre "dad" isn't there to help mom pick up pieces...so naturally you turn to mom. And as a daughter...ya think mom's are invincible and never age! haha! My heart goes out to you...you want to help but it is so overwhelming.

My best friend was a bedwetter until the age of 12. Of course back in the late 70's there were no "pullups" just diapers. It was soooo humilating for her to be diapered by her mom before bed. So sad! And naturally all the neighborhood kids knew...(kid talk) and they made fun of her...kids just don't realize how they hurt one another with words. And (lol) I was peed on a hundred times...but never said a word. She couldn't help it. Maybe if your daughter slept with him a few times it might tune her back to reality...and encourage her to help you work this thing out.

kids · Sep 29, 2002

Friends of ours have 4 kids including a 4 year old girl with a very rare history of bed wetting.

A couple of weeks ago che craled into bed with Mom and Dad in the middle of the night, soaking wet and cold. It woke Dad up who proceeded to give the girl a quick bath, redress her and put her back to bed in the parents bed (who's going to strip and remake a bed at 3 am?). Through it all the girl kept insisting she had not wet the bed.

The next morning, with with the girl still insisting that she had not wet the bed the Mom heads in to change the bedding...to find water dripping from the upstairs neighbors appartment. Seems the wax ring on the toilet had failed and was dripping (clean) water in the middle of the little girls bed.

jschut, BSN, RN · Sep 29, 2002

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Poor kid......but that's funny!

Brownms46 · Sep 29, 2002

Julie, I feel you have received some excellent words of widsom concerning your grandson, and I totally can relate to what is going on with him.

But I was wondering if your daughter has sought out counseling? I think this would be a good thing for her also...along with your grandson.

I really feel for you Julie in this situation, as I know your heart goes out to both your daughter, and your grandson.

mykidsmom · Oct 2, 2002

I have 4 children-twin 6yr old boys, 5 yr old girl and 4month old girl. My daughter has constantly had a problem wetting the bed. She does it at least 2x a week. And she also pees in her pants while playing about 1x a week. The problem is she is in school now and has had 2 accidents at school. i dont want kids making fun of her. I tried the nasal spray and it didn't work.

One of the twins also pees in his bed about 1x a month. And recently the other twin started peeing his his pants. (I have caught him twice with wet pants!) When the twins were 4 yrs old they would pee behind the couch and behind their bed occasionally. Luckily that has stopped but the carpet is ruined. They are driving me nuts!!

I have told my daughter she needs to wear pull ups but she starts crying hystericaly and yells NO. And the one time I tried putting them on her, she fought me the whole time. Her doctor said if the medicine doesnt work she will just have to use the pull ups!! I dont know what to do with these children. I have tried stopping drinks before bed, getting them up early to go, and reminding them to go during the day but we still have accidents.

My husband and I were both bedwetters and I understand they are just having accidents. Please let me know if you have any suggestions.

Barinbass · Oct 2, 2002

I still think that an EEG is needed. At least, consulting the pediatrician abt a neuro consult is the way to go until a definite conclusive answer is determined. To cart a child who wets the bed off to counseling is the wrong direction as far as I am concerned. I can see no rationale in that except it is easier especially if denial and/or complacency are issues. I doubt if a counselor wil have the broad based knowledge needed to really help the situation. That route adds an unnecessary lable that will follow the child one way or another for a very long time, and if it does turn out to be due to a physical cause, by not seeking and not receiving proper care for the actual problem, then further detriment and harm can easily occur. Going the counseling/psych route is the easy way out and has been inflicted on too many people needlessly for too long. The correct diagnosis is needed as well as the proper care for the Accurate diagnosis. Closing one's eyes to a potential problem does not make it go away. I have often wondered how many of the kids in psych hospitals who exhibited symptoms like so called behavior problems and bed wetting were actually misdiagnosed and thus mistreated as well. You may not be aware of it but there are many cases of misdiagnosis as well as incorrect treatment that can lead to further harm. I know that if it were my child, I would insist that the exact cause be determined to prevent any further detriment that could occur. This is an area very important to me as quality of life is priority, now and in the future.

RNinICU · Oct 3, 2002

Originally posted by TweetyRN
I still think that an EEG is needed. At least, consulting the pediatrician abt a neuro consult is the way to go until a definite conclusive answer is determined. To cart a child who wets the bed off to counseling is the wrong direction as far as I am concerned. I can see no rationale in that except it is easier especially if denial and/or complacency are issues. I doubt if a counselor wil have the broad based knowledge needed to really help the situation. That route adds an unnecessary lable that will follow the child one way or another for a very long time, and if it does turn out to be due to a physical cause, by not seeking and not receiving proper care for the actual problem, then further detriment and harm can easily occur. Going the counseling/psych route is the easy way out and has been inflicted on too many people needlessly for too long. The correct diagnosis is needed as well as the proper care for the Accurate diagnosis. Closing one's eyes to a potential problem does not make it go away. I have often wondered how many of the kids in psych hospitals who exhibited symptoms like so called behavior problems and bed wetting were actually misdiagnosed and thus mistreated as well. You may not be aware of it but there are many cases of misdiagnosis as well as incorrect treatment that can lead to further harm. I know that if it were my child, I would insist that the exact cause be determined to prevent any further detriment that could occur. This is an area very important to me as quality of life is priority, now and in the future.

I don't think anyone here suggested counseling for the child who is wetting the bed. Most of the respondents suggested a medical check up. Those of us who suggested counseling or anti- depressants were suggesting them for this child's mother, who has just come out of an abusive relationship.

JuJuRN32 · Oct 3, 2002

My 12 year old son has wet the bed since he was 2 years old, after he had been potty trained for 18 months. We have tried all the usual stuff, limiting liquids, waking him up at night, almost everything. I finally took him to our family doctor recently and he suggested a bed wetting alarm. I have ordered it and we are patiently awaiting its arrival. In the meantime, we have used GoodNights for years. My son hates wetting the bed and he is just as sick of it as we are. He is embarrassed, humiliated, and wants to stop, but he can't. He misses sleep overs and camps because of it and you can imagine that a 12 year old has a pretty big bladder, even with the GoodNights we often have wet sheets and blankets. To make matters worse, my ex husband, my son's father, only finds it in his heart to yell at my son about it.

People often do not understand that boys have a harder time with this than girls, and often this runs in families which is worth checking out. My half brother wet the bed until he was 14, my cousin until she was 12, and my aunt until she was 13. With all three of them, one day the problem just "disappeared".

I know it's a difficult problem to live with, but being matter of fact about it with the child, I have found, is the best policy. In the meantime, your daughter needs to take some responsibility for her own children. Maybe she is depressed and needs some attention from a physician as well.

I wish you the best of luck in solving this issue and if you are interested in the bed wetting alarm it costs $55.90 and the number to call and order it is 1-800-346-7283. It is advertised for children 5 and up. I'll let you know if it works for us.

JuJuRN32 · Oct 3, 2002

P.S. I think that different things work for different children and you just have to try everything until you find something that works. That can be seen by reading all the posts from people with children that have this problem. I guess I'm pointing out the obvious huh? Oh well...!! :rolleyes: